Sex Talk

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3/20/06
3/12/06

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bearofbears

bearofbears

Denver, CO
January 2006

MAR 12, 2006 12:41 AM

My husband and I have a good sex life, but I am ALWAYS horny and my husband isn't. In fact he turns me down more for sex in a month than I have ever turned it down. He says that it shouldn't be so much about sex. I am frustrated because I expect him to be ready to go when I am. I will even masterbate in front of him and he won't even get into it at all.
Furthermore when we started dating he could go for like 2 hrs and now he maxes out at about 10 minutes and I better cum quick before it goes limp.
I guess I am just looking for people to sympathize and say they are just as undersexed as I am and I just need to buy some better porn or something.

[Edited on Mar 12, 2006 by bearofbears]

wipis

wipis

Lambertville, NJ
February 2006

MAR 12, 2006 01:28 AM

Could it be possible his sex drive has lessened b/c hes feels he lacks the varility he used to have? I mean could he be embarrassed that he can't satisfy you like he used to so he's gun shy? Because theres pills for that now. I hear they go best with red wine.

bearofbears

bearofbears

Denver, CO
January 2006

MAR 12, 2006 01:36 AM

wipis said:
Could it be possible his sex drive has lessened b/c hes feels he lacks the varility he used to have? I mean could he be embarrassed that he can't satisfy you like he used to so he's gun shy? Because theres pills for that now. I hear they go best with red wine.




Maybe, but he's only 20.

Al

Al

SUICIDEGIRL

Christmas Island

MAR 12, 2006 02:01 AM

When I started getting turned down for sex 9 times out of 10, I dumped him.

FrankMask

FrankMask

Saint Paul, MN
June 2003

MAR 12, 2006 02:02 AM

Blueballs is the pits.

trilobyte

trilobyte

Black Rock City, NV
February 2003

MAR 12, 2006 02:35 AM

Could be worse, you could be discussing his sexual shortcomings on a website full of strangers on some kind of intarweb....

Oh wait...

~Trilo~

BraveArt

BraveArt

Los Angeles, CA
February 2004

MAR 12, 2006 02:37 AM

Al said:
When I started getting turned down for sex 9 times out of 10, I dumped him.



that is totally undeniably batshit insane....(the turning you down part, that is...not the dumping his ass part)

desidia

desidia

Reunion
September 2002

MAR 12, 2006 02:44 AM

Al said:
When I started getting turned down for sex 9 times out of 10, I dumped him.



I still feel bad about that. I'm sorry frown

trilobyte

trilobyte

Black Rock City, NV
February 2003

MAR 12, 2006 02:49 AM

brvhrt said:

Al said:
When I started getting turned down for sex 9 times out of 10, I dumped him.



that is totally undeniably batshit insane....(the turning you down part, that is...not the dumping his ass part)



Agreed on yet another topic...

~Trilo~

ClD

ClD

Australia
February 2006

MAR 12, 2006 03:27 AM

I always give it to my girl when she wants it, even if i don't feel like it blackeyed

Just the way i am i guess.Don't get me wrong, I love to receive pleasure. But i find it more fulfilling when i give pleasure to my girl. love

postmoderntool

postmoderntool

Seattle, WA
January 2004

MAR 12, 2006 03:35 AM

bearofbears said:
My husband and I have a good sex life, but I am ALWAYS horny and my husband isn't. In fact he turns me down more for sex in a month than I have ever turned it down. He says that it shouldn't be so much about sex. I am frustrated because I expect him to be ready to go when I am. I will even masterbate in front of him and he won't even get into it at all.
Furthermore when we started dating he could go for like 2 hrs and now he maxes out at about 10 minutes and I better cum quick before it goes limp.
I guess I am just looking for people to sympathize and say they are just as undersexed as I am and I just need to buy some better porn or something.

[Edited on Mar 12, 2006 by bearofbears]


Now you know how it feels to be a 19-22 year old male.... Think about that and no one wants to give it up. Bullshit is that?

Tez

Tez

SUICIDEGIRL

Australia

MAR 12, 2006 03:44 AM

When I was dating someone a while ago, our sex got bland, then he started declining sex with me..

To sum up.. he was over our relationship.. therefore the sex was non existant.

Not saying this is the case with you and your husband.

Autrix

Autrix

San Francisco, CA
January 2004

MAR 12, 2006 03:48 AM

Sex? whats that?

Seriously, It's been too long, I can't remember nor do I want to

[Edited on Mar 12, 2006 by Autrix]

Phantasy

Phantasy

Australia
October 2005

MAR 12, 2006 04:01 AM

Al said:
When I started getting turned down for sex 9 times out of 10, I dumped him.




Who, in their right mind, would turn you down? surreal

bean

bean

STAFF

Los Angeles, CA

MAR 12, 2006 04:34 AM

Encourage him to masturbate more. If he keeps up the routine, he'll want sex more often and he'll last longer when you have it. This, of course, assumes there aren't deeper issues causing the drop in sex drive, which could include anything from stress to medications to depression to chemical imbalances to medical conditions, among other things including, yes, that he might just not be that into it with you at this point. I would say, however, that that's probably the least likely reason.

ClD

ClD

Australia
February 2006

MAR 12, 2006 04:40 AM

kimberleyfantasy said:

Al said:
When I started getting turned down for sex 9 times out of 10, I dumped him.




Who, in their right mind, would turn you down? surreal



If Anyone turned you down, they would have to wear this T-shirt.



[Edited on Mar 12, 2006 by cidrock]

Pixie_geek

Pixie_geek

United Kingdom
January 2005

MAR 12, 2006 05:40 AM

Whats sex again? I can't remember..... whatever

Have you discussed it with him.....?? If its that much of an isue for you then maybe you should bring it out in the open..........

geekyguy

geekyguy

United Kingdom
December 2005

MAR 12, 2006 05:49 AM

My wife and I have been married for over 5 years and she went through a long 'dip' in sex drive. It turns out it was a combination of her on the pill and general health. So I agree with bean -- it could be a whole range of things.

Talk to him about it, and form a plan together to make it better.

tolron6607

tolron6607

Schenectady, NY
November 2005

MAR 12, 2006 06:23 AM

I know that you can beat this. Have you gone for some new positions or even anal? The men in my life love it and I have learned to enjoy it myself. Maybe he has started to feel that he has to produce for you rather than making love (nutty but I have heard of it)

How about a nice rubdown for both of you first. Take the "pounding" out of it. I read something about tantric sex one time something to do with holding off.

I think it is sexy that you are so hot for it. Ever tried a girl?

Stokely706

Stokely706

Chattanooga, TN
January 2006

MAR 12, 2006 06:51 AM

I have the same problem with my b/f, he says it makes him feel bad if I just call him up for sex. He says it makes him feel used. I can see it that way but if he was callign me up for sex I don't think I wodl have a problem with it cause I think it is kinda hot.

I hope things get better. I was talkign to my married freinds and they spice things up with sexy board games like "Lust".

Cairo

Cairo

SUICIDEGIRL

Maryland, USA

MAR 12, 2006 06:59 AM

tolron6607 said:
I think it is sexy that you are so hot for it. Ever tried a girl?



Are you...making her an offer? surreal

HarManic

HarManic

Urbana, IL
March 2005

MAR 12, 2006 08:11 AM

First of all -> bean +1.

Second, the only experience I have in this type of situation was when I was the one turning down sex, and it was because I was over the relationship. We were all but married, and had been for a couple of years. I had some deep seated relationship issues, and couldn't bring myself to really bring them up. She knew there were problems. She wanted to try to solve the problems physically - bring us closer together. I felt dishonest for being close to her physically when I wasn't emotionally. Icky, icky situation.

The couch was comfortable, though. whatever

Quirky

Quirky

Birmingham, AL
October 2005

MAR 12, 2006 08:22 AM

Why do you expect him to be always up for it? Because he has a penis?

R0nin

R0nin

Chicago, IL
October 2005

MAR 12, 2006 08:26 AM

Having been through this myself, I can definitely say that before it gets too bad you should talk about it with him. Sometimes it's as simple as talking about it, other times there is nothing you can do about it, but you'll never know for sure untill you've talked about it.

Some people are just not as sexual as others.. It doesn't mean they don't love you and it doesn't mean they don't find you attractive. It's a problem when one person in the relationship wants/needs it frequently and the other person doesn't. Sure, you can make all sorts of compromises for someone you love, but if sex is something that's very important to you and it's not to them.. well.. it's got little chance of working out.

Putting aside any advice.. I really sympathize with you because I know how hard it is to be in this situation.. You shouldn't feel bad for being a sexual person and at the same time, you don't want your lover to feel bad about not being a sexual person.. it's not a good place to be..

What I'm having trouble understanding is that he's only 20 and doesn't want sex all the time... Could be that he has some issues about it due to something that happened in his past..

In the meantime.. I suggest you stock up on toys and really good porn.

Try talking to him about sex. Ask him what his fantasies are. Ask him what really turns him on. The way he reacts to these sort of questions should give you some indication of whether or not you're fighting a losing battle.

StarBelliedBoy

StarBelliedBoy

Philadelphia, PA
December 2003

MAR 12, 2006 08:29 AM

Taureolt said:
Why do you expect him to be always up for it? Because he has a penis?


Seriously...
I'll spend an entire day trying to get my girlfriend to fool around, with no luck. Then, when it's 2 in the morning and I'm exhausted and ready for sleep, THEN she wants sex. When I'm practically too tired to move. Then she gets mad at me, like I'm lazy. It's endlessly frustrating.

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