Not enough sex...

My husband and I have a good sex life, but I am ALWAYS horny and my husband isn't. In fact he turns me down more for sex in a month than I have ever turned it down. He says that it shouldn't be so much about sex. I am frustrated because I expect him to be ready to go when I am. I will even masterbate in front of him and he won't even get into it at all.
Furthermore when we started dating he could go for like 2 hrs and now he maxes out at about 10 minutes and I better cum quick before it goes limp.
I guess I am just looking for people to sympathize and say they are just as undersexed as I am and I just need to buy some better porn or something.

[Edited on Mar 12, 2006 by bearofbears]

Could it be possible his sex drive has lessened b/c hes feels he lacks the varility he used to have? I mean could he be embarrassed that he can't satisfy you like he used to so he's gun shy? Because theres pills for that now. I hear they go best with red wine.

Maybe, but he's only 20.

Blueballs is the pits.

Could be worse, you could be discussing his sexual shortcomings on a website full of strangers on some kind of intarweb....

Oh wait...

~Trilo~

that is totally undeniably batshit insane....(the turning you down part, that is...not the dumping his ass part)

I still feel bad about that. I'm sorry

Agreed on yet another topic...

~Trilo~

I always give it to my girl when she wants it, even if i don't feel like it

Just the way i am i guess.Don't get me wrong, I love to receive pleasure. But i find it more fulfilling when i give pleasure to my girl.

Now you know how it feels to be a 19-22 year old male.... Think about that and no one wants to give it up. Bullshit is that?

Sex? whats that?

Seriously, It's been too long, I can't remember nor do I want to

[Edited on Mar 12, 2006 by Autrix]

Who, in their right mind, would turn you down?

If Anyone turned you down, they would have to wear this T-shirt.



[Edited on Mar 12, 2006 by cidrock]

Whats sex again? I can't remember.....

Have you discussed it with him.....?? If its that much of an isue for you then maybe you should bring it out in the open..........

My wife and I have been married for over 5 years and she went through a long 'dip' in sex drive. It turns out it was a combination of her on the pill and general health. So I agree with bean -- it could be a whole range of things.

Talk to him about it, and form a plan together to make it better.

I know that you can beat this. Have you gone for some new positions or even anal? The men in my life love it and I have learned to enjoy it myself. Maybe he has started to feel that he has to produce for you rather than making love (nutty but I have heard of it)

How about a nice rubdown for both of you first. Take the "pounding" out of it. I read something about tantric sex one time something to do with holding off.

I think it is sexy that you are so hot for it. Ever tried a girl?

I have the same problem with my b/f, he says it makes him feel bad if I just call him up for sex. He says it makes him feel used. I can see it that way but if he was callign me up for sex I don't think I wodl have a problem with it cause I think it is kinda hot.

I hope things get better. I was talkign to my married freinds and they spice things up with sexy board games like "Lust".

First of all -> bean +1.

Second, the only experience I have in this type of situation was when I was the one turning down sex, and it was because I was over the relationship. We were all but married, and had been for a couple of years. I had some deep seated relationship issues, and couldn't bring myself to really bring them up. She knew there were problems. She wanted to try to solve the problems physically - bring us closer together. I felt dishonest for being close to her physically when I wasn't emotionally. Icky, icky situation.

The couch was comfortable, though.

Why do you expect him to be always up for it? Because he has a penis?

Having been through this myself, I can definitely say that before it gets too bad you should talk about it with him. Sometimes it's as simple as talking about it, other times there is nothing you can do about it, but you'll never know for sure untill you've talked about it.

Some people are just not as sexual as others.. It doesn't mean they don't love you and it doesn't mean they don't find you attractive. It's a problem when one person in the relationship wants/needs it frequently and the other person doesn't. Sure, you can make all sorts of compromises for someone you love, but if sex is something that's very important to you and it's not to them.. well.. it's got little chance of working out.

Putting aside any advice.. I really sympathize with you because I know how hard it is to be in this situation.. You shouldn't feel bad for being a sexual person and at the same time, you don't want your lover to feel bad about not being a sexual person.. it's not a good place to be..

What I'm having trouble understanding is that he's only 20 and doesn't want sex all the time... Could be that he has some issues about it due to something that happened in his past..

In the meantime.. I suggest you stock up on toys and really good porn.

Try talking to him about sex. Ask him what his fantasies are. Ask him what really turns him on. The way he reacts to these sort of questions should give you some indication of whether or not you're fighting a losing battle.

Seriously...
I'll spend an entire day trying to get my girlfriend to fool around, with no luck. Then, when it's 2 in the morning and I'm exhausted and ready for sleep, THEN she wants sex. When I'm practically too tired to move. Then she gets mad at me, like I'm lazy. It's endlessly frustrating.