Bedroom Horror Stories

What's your worst?
I'll get it going with writing mine down:
My ex came to visit me at college during halloween. And she was a bunny and i was hugh - so of course we were drinking champagne all night. We finished a few bottle - and we ended up back in my dorm room.
We started making out - then she decided she wanted to give me head. So, she takes off my pants and I'm sitting in a chair while she's performing on my member. After a little while - you know right about the time when you are ready to go at it - right before that moment - my ex pauses. She lets go of me, kinda gives me a half look, then says, "Hold on a second."
She proceeded to puke all over my pants and the floor and some of my feet...
The next 10 minutes were spent holding a small garbage bag up for her - until she filled it up. Then i threw on some shorts and got her into the bathroom - where she stubbled and almost fell over multiple times. But I got her there and had to take care of her puking and cleaning it up - then getting her into bed. And needless to say I had to deal with blue balls
Aight - your turn

You should had plugged her while she had her head in the toilet

pffft - yea, but it was a dorm bathroom - it would have been a little weird if i was doing that - plus i probably would have been written up

Mine isnt really a horror story but it could have been. I was on top of my husband who was my bf at the time riding him in on a recliner and he got a really bad nose bleed. We didnt stop, and when we were both covered in blood.

why in the hell would you stop, lol - its only a bloody nose
he can suck it up - sure its a little messy, but its sex, cmon...

I had a friend that did that. His gf was paying homage to the porcelain god so he proceded to drop her pants and stuff her in the two-hole.

funniest first thread ever

I went to a nightclub and somewhere between the Apple Martini and Crown on the rocks I met this girl who was sitting by herself at bar. I asked her if she wanted to dance and she said OK. In mid song she invites me over to her place, so we grab our coats and waves bye to her friends. At her place, she lays me down on her bed and moves my arms up to her bed posts. Then I hear, CLICK and then another CLICK. I have been handcuffed to a bed post, the girl is gone and comes back 5 minutes later wearing nothing but a Mardi Gras mask, she's holding a bottle of rubbing alcohol on her left and an X-acto KNIFE in the other. She gets on top and begins to carve out her initials on my chest. I never went back to that club again.

At least she didn't ride your dick, unprotected, with a bad disease!! And at least she sanitized you with rubbing alcohol.... but still, despite those considerate measures, she sounds like one fucked up girl, eh?

FUCK, dude!

You should had carved your name into her ass

ive mentioned this story elsewhere on here....but once i was having sex with this girl (she was on top) and when she came, she involuntarily kind of bucked forward, and slammed her head into the wall, knocking herself out briefly and suffering a concussion.

another time, i got a concussion while going down on a girl. when she came, her hips kind of pushed my head back, while at the same time, her knees kind of slammed together...right on my temples. major ow.

Shit, that sucks. However, with you restrained and at the mercy of a crazy girl with a knife it could have been much, much worse.

thats what i thought

The pipes in my ceiling leak all over my computer desk.

Oh... wait...

You know, that's how Ghengis Khan died.

Hence why I simply held her head and dealt with the blue balls. It's better to be in pain, then not have em at all

I got a call from a girl i had been "seeing" (we would get together n finish off bottles of jager n red bull while having sex the entire time, it was nice). She was driving through town with her roommate, who was wicked hot - raver girl, n wanted to be entertained. I met up with them at a bar, paid for everything, grabbed a bag of yao, n proceeded to leave with them promptly after they began making out with each other. A friend met us back at my place and clothing was removed, the girls put on a little show for us and we all blew lines off of each other. The girls whispered that they only wanted to have sex with me so i broke the bad news to my friend n he was gone. Then up to my roommates bed (large mirrors, haha) where we continued to rip while the girls took turns pleasuring me. The one thing that i needed to work took the night off - fuckin yao dick, felt like half a man.

I guess my slang is different. I thought he was talking about shooting her.

The two hole?

The monster that lives in my closet came out with a chainsaw and Dr. Loomis shot him and his head exploded all over. That was a horror story alright!

Yao Dick the Chinese basketball player? Why did you need to work him?

Try "yeyo." Or, I mean, don't try it. That shit makes you impotent.

Haha... I was going to say I had a mildew problem in my old apartment.

I've come to realize that my luck in the bedroom is somewhat mixed...
How many of you have had friendly fire?
Wellllll - last night I was fooling around with this girl - and she goes down to give me some head.
So yea, she there for a bit - I'm about to cum - so I let her know - she pulls off and lets me finish.
If I didn't have my hand over my face I would have been hit in the freaking eye...
I was lying down and I hit myself in the face
That's like porno style flying projectiles. It was the most shocking thing, but even at the time it was fucking hilarious.
Ladies - from now on, I completely understand why not many of you like to take it on the chin - so to speak - its sticky as fuck and you gotta take a shower to get it outta your hair...
Lol

[Edited on Nov 23, 2005 by healthyparanoid]