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ZombieStomp

ZombieStomp

Carrboro, NC
July 2005

NOV 20, 2005 03:03 AM

Pixie_geek said:
I was sort of in the same position as you dude, I didn't exactly get the opportunity too but I tried anyways and it didn't work out. Works been hell since, people making assumptions and talking behind my back. Believe me when I say thats not cool. I wish I had never fallen in love with her. Now we're not even friends and thats what I miss the most. If you really value her as a friend then don't risk losing her... it'll make you feel emptier than anything else ever could... but if she isn't that special friend, then all you can have is the sniping behind your back or the happiness of being in love.

What my drunken ramblings are trying to say is that love is a risk you have to take, but, not if it means losing a friend. I think.... errr... i'm gonna shut up now blush


This makes three of us then. Don't do something you're not 100% sure she'll respond to in a good way. If she condescendingly jokes that every male friend hits on her, don't hit on her unless she hits on you. Test that out before you fess up to a crush or something similarly potentially embarrasing. Remember she's your co-worker and drinking buddy, if she's your perfect body type and all that, it can be tempting, that's how it was for me. But I had to put it out of my mind since I didn't want work to be a fucked up hell-hole, and since I've realized that personalities of other people getting along with mine are more important than looks, or similarites (things in common), because sometimes you need the perfect synergy, instead of being very similar, in order to have a good relationship. Keep that in mind next time you compare your personalities...

bean

bean

STAFF

Los Angeles, CA

NOV 20, 2005 04:51 AM

Do you plan on working at the same job for the rest of your life? I really don't understand all the people talking about how you could "mess up your job" if things don't go well. Who the fuck cares? Do you really want to live the rest of your life wondering whether you should've made a move?

You guys go out drinking all the time, right? Just ask her if she wants to do something else sometime. Pick something you know she likes doing that you'd enjoy too (which shouldn't be too tough since you guys have a world of things in common), go out on a weekend, so she knows it's not just an extension of work camaraderie, but don't say it's a date unless she coyly asks you if it is. Then, assuming that goes well, tell her you'd like to take her out to dinner or something more date-like. Then, even if you never technically ask her out on a date, you're basically dating, and if it goes well, it should progress naturally.

Just make sure you don't invite friends along, and subtly make it clear that it's just for the two of you, so she doesn't bring her friends along.

sakita

sakita

Sweden
February 2003

NOV 20, 2005 06:05 AM

causticshock said:
If it hasn't happend by now it isn't going to happen, sorry but your in the FRIEND ZONE and you'll just end up hurting yourself. If any thing you 2 will have a nice release of tension with each other and that's it.



so not true... the boy im with now, he and i were friends for 3 years before we got together, and before that my best friend and i flirted with getting together (but didnt because of other boy) and we had & have been friends for more than 10 years.

nomad09

nomad09

Arlington, VA
January 2005

NOV 20, 2005 06:43 PM

I have said enough! But she's so mine.

TafkanX

tafkanx

Ridgecrest, CA
November 2005

NOV 20, 2005 08:07 PM

Of course, now that I think about it I married my best friend and now two kids and a messy divorce later... well, uh.... yeah. Date to your heart's content, but be careful about marrying your best friend shocked

Coliwali

Coliwali

I'm lost
February 2003

NOV 20, 2005 09:37 PM

I suppose it depends on how she seems to feel about the plethora of guy friends who’ve hit on her. If she seems to like the idea of her guy friends asking her out, then hey go for it. If she seems to hate it, then don’t go for it.

MXV

MXV

Riverside, CA
March 2005

NOV 21, 2005 04:46 AM

nomad09 said:
I think she knows that she's thrown me off with some of the things she's said about guys -- that she doesnt like guys with jobs or responsibilities, that she picks the wrong men, that she's a "man eater," among other things.




Ya know, these don't necessarily mean a whole lot. A lot of times, they might throw this shit out there to see whether you can step up, or if you back down.

And other times, a girl who is really into you and moving things forward pretty quickly might say things like "I don't normally do this..." ... and that doesn't necessarily mean that she doesn't WANT to, just that she's surprised that she's this into you and she doesn't want you thinking she's a little slut.

What kind of guys does she seem to ACTUALLY go for? That's a better indication than what she complains about. SOmetimes, the complaints are them venting frustrations that actually attract them in other ways.

The trick is knowing how to be the cool badass while NOT being the fucking asshole.

And that's where I come in... smile

MXV

MXV

Riverside, CA
March 2005

NOV 21, 2005 04:49 AM

sakita said:
so not true... the boy im with now, he and i were friends for 3 years before we got together, and before that my best friend and i flirted with getting together (but didnt because of other boy) and we had & have been friends for more than 10 years.



There are different kinds of friends. The ones who get "categorized" as friends often are the more sensitive ones that you just don't know why they're not attractive to you.

Then there are the ones who have "something" about them that keep your interest in more than just a "you're a good friend" kind of way.

Of course, we can't tell which way the girl feels about the guy who started this thread. It might not be so hard to find out, though.

TheDishwasher

TheDishwasher

Frederick, MD
July 2004

NOV 21, 2005 08:14 PM

ZombieStomp said:

Pixie_geek said:
I was sort of in the same position as you dude, I didn't exactly get the opportunity too but I tried anyways and it didn't work out. Works been hell since, people making assumptions and talking behind my back. Believe me when I say thats not cool. I wish I had never fallen in love with her. Now we're not even friends and thats what I miss the most. If you really value her as a friend then don't risk losing her... it'll make you feel emptier than anything else ever could... but if she isn't that special friend, then all you can have is the sniping behind your back or the happiness of being in love.

What my drunken ramblings are trying to say is that love is a risk you have to take, but, not if it means losing a friend. I think.... errr... i'm gonna shut up now blush


This makes three of us then. Don't do something you're not 100% sure she'll respond to in a good way. If she condescendingly jokes that every male friend hits on her, don't hit on her unless she hits on you. Test that out before you fess up to a crush or something similarly potentially embarrasing. Remember she's your co-worker and drinking buddy, if she's your perfect body type and all that, it can be tempting, that's how it was for me. But I had to put it out of my mind since I didn't want work to be a fucked up hell-hole, and since I've realized that personalities of other people getting along with mine are more important than looks, or similarites (things in common), because sometimes you need the perfect synergy, instead of being very similar, in order to have a good relationship. Keep that in mind next time you compare your personalities...




what's the point of living if you only try things you are 100% sure will work out? i cant stand the thought of wondering what if, and yeah, it has not always worked in my favor, but at least i dont regret not trying....

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