friends with the ex...

I'm friends with most of my exes.

Three important rules for breaking up

1.Don't put off breaking up when you know you want to, prolonging the situation only makes it worse

2. Tell themm honestly, simply, kindly, but firmly. Don't make a big production. Don't make up an elaborate story. This will help you avoid a big tear jerking scene.

3. If you wanna date other people say so. Be prepared for them to feel hurt and rejected.

Even if you've gone together for only a short time and haven't been too serious there's still a feeling of rejection when someone says she prefers the company of others to your exclusive company, but if you're honest and direct and avoid making a flowery emotional speech when you break the news. They will respect you for your frankness and honestly he'll apeciate the kind of straight foward manner
In which you told him your decision.

Unless he's a real jerk or a cry baby you will remain friends!!

My mom says I'm a catch.

It really depends on how it ended I guess.

it also kinda needs to be mutual..

the best thing I would suggest (as has already been) is keep some distance for a bit but stay in contact, when you do see each other do so in groups which will make it easier to remove any left over ackwardness. it also become easier if you no longer have any attraction to the other. It's best to start seeing them like a 1st cousin (if it ended well) Makes things much easier..

no of course it is only easy if they aren't insane.. to start with.

I successfully managed to be friends with an ex fiance that I was with for 5 years. It took over a year before we could even be around each other. Now after a couple years, we talk on the phone occassionally, and have lunch every once and awhile. We aren't close friends really, but it is better than I expected it to be.

The best advice is to keep your distance for awhile, establish contact slowly, and don't expect to be really close ever again.

You don't lose anything by not being his/her friend. You could also stand to gain more friends since you'll have more free time. Spending so much time trying to be their friend is a waste of time. To hell with them.

Again, thanks everyone. I am finding this extremely fascinating and helpful. You all have really helped improve my opinion of society as a whole right now

I've only ever had two relationships, both of which are/were serious. The break-up with my first boyfriend was a mess. Neither one of us had been in a relationship before, so we didn't know what to expect after we broke up. I wanted to stay friends and be the kind of friends who talk to eachother on the phone every once in awhile. His definition of friends was not acknowledging my existence. Eight months after I broke up with him, I started going out with my current boyfriend, and didn't give my ex a second thought; I convinced myself that he didn't want a friendship and I no longer wanted anything to do with him.

Recently, however, we started talking again and I thought we could be friends again. I find him to be rather exhausting to talk to, so I think we're better off just talking to eachother once every few months or so.

Its fucked up, I know.

if your getting decent ass besides and you can forgive your ex for any past fuck-ups, then why can't you still appreciate their non-gonad qualities?

I'm friends with most of my Ex girlfriends. You just have to accept the fact that they will be meeting and dating others. Once you come to terms with that it really shouldn't be a problem.

i am friends with most of my exes. what helps? like everyone has said......

time away, definately........you need your individual space.
you have to truly be over them, at least i have, to be able to be friends.

what helps a lot too, is if you are in love with someone else. (not like a rebound thing.......i just mean it helps to see why your ex is your ex, as the person you are currently in love with is so much better for you)

the one thing that i just don't get is this..............if you got along well enough and cared about each other enough to fall in love, how could you not want to still be friends?

i still love my exes, i am just not in love with them.

and btw, i had a rule that anyone i end up in a serious relationship with, must accept the friendships i have with my EXs....otherwise, they are booted. but that is stated right up front.

happily Octoberseven is accepting of it.
he rocks

On the other hand I'm not friends with any of mine. In fact I have absolutely no contact whatsoever with any of them.