I'm currently just dating, this past Saturday night a girl I have been very interested in came home from work around 10:30pm and popped on Instant Messenger. We started talking and she kept telling me to come over. <insert important bit of info> She lives in southern Maine though, and myself in MA (I will travel great distances for love, this is how picky I am lol) anyways, it was now around 11:30pm and she wanted me over there NOW. I really wanted to, but <insert other bit of info> we haven't met in person yet, only talked on the phone/online and have only known each other for the past month. I was also drinking a bit earlier and added up all these points and thus was not going to drive 1.5 hours that evening. I told her I'm very sorry but I honestly didn't think it would be safe that I drove all that way in my condition (I also have not met this girl yet and driving all that way when she tells me to, eh.. I just have more self respect than that ) So she calms down, we talk some more, and we end it with me asking what time she'll be up tomorrow, and I'll call her and drive on up to take her out

SUNDAY!! I wake up around 10am... call her.. I then leave a voice message and text message telling her to wake up ... hours go by.. still no call back, I pop online, she's not there. I called her again around 2pm, goes straight to voicemail. Later she was online, but had an away message up saying she was in New Hampshire visiting her dad and would be back later.. <shrug>.
Before I went to bed that night I sent her a short email just saying, "hey dunno where ya went today, but let me know your schedule this week, and if you're too busy during the week, I'll see you this weekend for sure " (kinda didn't show her anything bugged me and I wasn't upset...)

buuutt... I did kinda wish she called, and I just can NOT stand it when girls (the few I have dated, please ladies I know you are not all the same ) change their mind on things from day to day or hour to hour. A girl being indecisive is such a big turn off for me. It basically shows me that they only have feelings for me at certain times.

I'm now giving this girl a little break in contacting her, I'm going to disappear for awhile, if she doesn't contact me, no biggy, but I need some input... did I do anything wrong? She was not a lovely SG, so was it justified by me not driving up at 11:30pm (for 1.5 hours and mildly intoxicated). I do know she has a bad relationship with her father whom she was visiting, <sigh> I'm just a person who sticks to my word and dedicate myself to backing up my words with action, and if I can't attend to any plans I have made with someone, I inform them on what is going on.

[Edited on Nov 14, 2005 by midnight8x]

clara

MODERATOR

Baltimore, MD

NOV 14, 2005 04:28 PM

I have one of these. I finally figured out that he's really excited about seeing me only when he's drunk. One of my girlfriends thinks it's just that he's too shy to talk to me when he's not, but I say it's too irritating no matter what the cause.

MsStabby

I'm lost

November 2005

NOV 14, 2005 04:33 PM

It doesn't sound so much like she changed her mind, more like she just wanted a booty call. She gave you a shot and was shot down. Nothing there for her to change her mind about.

Ya can't overthink the booty call or you get yourself in boatloads of trouble (I'm not referring to you specifically, more the universal/royal "you". Probly should have used the word "one").

unravled

Portland, OR

August 2003

NOV 14, 2005 04:34 PM

Um...booty call.

highcontrast

San Francisco, CA

March 2003

NOV 14, 2005 04:45 PM

yup. booty call.

probably you tried too hard the next day. one call or one email was enough.

direct is good, but give 'em room to breathe....