worst thing...

that is also amazing.

Wow, that story made my dick crawl up my ass and weep.

While in college we took a trip home to his mothers house. We were fucking in every possible postition when he flipped me over and smacked me into the headboard. I passed out. He was aparently flipping out that I was naked, sweaty and unconcious on his mothers floor. And rightfully so.

Oh, and I once had a guy ask me to blow him while he watched WWE.







...and I did.

i was once going down on a girl whilst on holiday. she came, a couple of times. i was just finishing off and working my way back up when i notcied she wasnt really reacting much to me. i stop and pull up onto my knees and see that she fell asleep whilst i was eating her out
she then did it 3 times the next night, and once during intercourse. i put it down to she had a form of narcolepsy

Cheese whiz, sister, maybe the problem isn't his "little" wiener, but rather, your TITANIC VAGINA! That's right, Thunder Vag', your days of "Small-dickery" propaganda are numbered...


...fellas, it's time we TAKE BACK THE STREETS!!

Fuck yeah!!! Brothers with lil baby dicks UNITE!


PS: J/K ladies

I once let a very loud one rip in the middle of recieving oral from my girlfriend at the time.... I was all relaxed mallrats style and it just kind of happened.

Surprisingly she just kind of went then continued despite the fact I was laughing at the whole situation.

One night I went to a dunkin' donuts and ate, like, 10 or 12 donuts b/c I had missed dinner. Then, I went to my girlfriend's house and we started making out. The clothes came off, we ended up on her bed and right in the middle of french-kissing her I belched an amazingly large *burp* right in her mouth.

So what do I do? Instead of saying, "sorry" or some other statement of how that was not an appropriate act, I pulled back a bit, looked at her and said, "Uggg. Must've been those donuts."

Yeah... ....she broke up w/ me right after that.

Awesome.

Marry me?

I just spat coffee all over my monitor.

I'm now going to start a band called Thunder Vag.

I simply did a rather pungent fart in a moment of post coital bliss. We were lying wrapped in each others limbs looking into each others eyes. Then came the sound of a truck's air brake from my arse.

She hit me.

Rather hard.

can i keep you?

my boyfriend does this alot.

I was 16, and it was Halloween. My Boyfriend and I were in a more wooded area of a local park and he was fingering me while I lay down on a tree that had fallen over. He tried to switch hands quickly but instead, just scratched basically from one end of my cunt to the other. It didn't hurt much then because of all of the endorphins so I just told him to stop. He was terrified that I would kill him. I then gave him head but I was still rather new at it and didn't have the timing quite right so I kind of fucked up on the dismount, so to speak and got a nice cum shot on my face, tits...and shirt. I ended up walking back without a shirt on and just my coat and realized after I'd calmed down that my cunt really hurt and that I was bleeding a lot. It didn't really stop hurting for the rest of the week. Not good times.

We went trick or treating later.

see, here's the thing. I don't have a problem with guys who have small penises. I was just startled by the transition. And I feel that guys with small dicks have an obligation to balance that fact with really good oral skills so as to make sure everyone gets satisfied. No hatred, just a surprise that I wouldn't be enjoying myself.

and my vag is tiny, I'l have you know!

Last week I was with two women (separate evenings), and fell asleep receiving oral from both of them. Not that it was bad, I guess I just got really relaxed, like one of those people who fall asleep while doing yoga. I managed to talk my way out of both situations, but I really felt bad about it.

This is the funniest thing I have ever read.

I can't remember being embarrassed at any time...I usually just get over it if anything strange happens.

Being drunk is always a huge liability for me, though. I say the most retarded things when I am drunk. My dick feels like corn....that is the kinda of thing I'd say, if I had a dick.

This was more funny then anything else.
If I recall right..it was the second time having sex..with my now Best bud Michelle.
shes riding me..gets hers off..and I take control of her hips to work myself off,
alittle times goes by and im close,as I feel it comming I lift her off me in a rush..my cock slams against my stomach and I blow my load....right into my own mouth and all over my face....hahaha I gave myself a facial.
First thing out of my mouth was "What the fuck"..I told her what happened and we both just started laughing our asses off...
we still laugh about this to this day..haha her boyfriend..doesnt find it funny..ohh well.

It's because all of our muscles are relaxed, we are comfortable. It happened in Mallrats, too.

haha thats great

Fine... but I am never moving back to New Jersey.