Sex Talk

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11/12/05

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daniofthedead

daniofthedead

Philadelphia, PA
June 2004

NOV 15, 2005 07:49 PM

Roethke said:
Whilst giving a blowjob that I wasn't particularly into, I got obsessed with the tiny piece of lint in his bellybutton. It become so important that I had to stop the BJ so I could remove the piece of lint. It ruined the moment and the blowjob was not resumed.




that is also amazing.

Roethke

Roethke

SUICIDEGIRL

California, USA

NOV 15, 2005 07:52 PM

daniofthedead said:

Roethke said:
Whilst giving a blowjob that I wasn't particularly into, I got obsessed with the tiny piece of lint in his bellybutton. It become so important that I had to stop the BJ so I could remove the piece of lint. It ruined the moment and the blowjob was not resumed.




that is also amazing.


Normally I totally rock the cock, but I guess I just wasn't on my game that time.

KorbenDallas

KorbenDallas

Qatar
January 2005

NOV 15, 2005 07:58 PM

datsun said:
I said, "that's your dick?"

yes, we'd been fooling around and he transitioned from fingers to penis without me even noticing. he wasn't generously proportioned... anyway, I faked an orgasm, and left really quickly. I felt really bad. but I was glad never to screw him again - woah was that a waste of time!



Wow, that story made my dick crawl up my ass and weep.

hotcurry

hotcurry

Los Angeles, CA
June 2004

NOV 16, 2005 04:32 PM

While in college we took a trip home to his mothers house. We were fucking in every possible postition when he flipped me over and smacked me into the headboard. I passed out. He was aparently flipping out that I was naked, sweaty and unconcious on his mothers floor. And rightfully so.

hotcurry

hotcurry

Los Angeles, CA
June 2004

NOV 16, 2005 04:33 PM

Oh, and I once had a guy ask me to blow him while he watched WWE.







...and I did. frown

Steaky

steaky

United Kingdom
May 2004

NOV 16, 2005 04:45 PM

i was once going down on a girl whilst on holiday. she came, a couple of times. i was just finishing off and working my way back up when i notcied she wasnt really reacting much to me. i stop and pull up onto my knees and see that she fell asleep whilst i was eating her out blackeyed
she then did it 3 times the next night, and once during intercourse. i put it down to she had a form of narcolepsy surreal

Fat_tastic

Fat_tastic

Seattle, WA
September 2005

NOV 16, 2005 05:23 PM

datsun said:
I said, "that's your dick?"

yes, we'd been fooling around and he transitioned from fingers to penis without me even noticing. he wasn't generously proportioned... anyway, I faked an orgasm, and left really quickly. I felt really bad. but I was glad never to screw him again - woah was that a waste of time!




Cheese whiz, sister, maybe the problem isn't his "little" wiener, but rather, your TITANIC VAGINA! That's right, Thunder Vag', your days of "Small-dickery" propaganda are numbered...


...fellas, it's time we TAKE BACK THE STREETS!!


BlueCadet

BlueCadet

Austin, TX
August 2003

NOV 16, 2005 06:19 PM

Tickle_Beans said:

datsun said:
I said, "that's your dick?"

yes, we'd been fooling around and he transitioned from fingers to penis without me even noticing. he wasn't generously proportioned... anyway, I faked an orgasm, and left really quickly. I felt really bad. but I was glad never to screw him again - woah was that a waste of time!




Cheese whiz, sister, maybe the problem isn't his "little" wiener, but rather, your TITANIC VAGINA! That's right, Thunder Vag', your days of "Small-dickery" propaganda are numbered...


...fellas, it's time we TAKE BACK THE STREETS!!




Fuck yeah!!! Brothers with lil baby dicks UNITE!


PS: J/K ladies

GoatsGoToHell

GoatsGoToHell

USA
OLD SKOOL

NOV 16, 2005 06:29 PM

I once let a very loud one rip in the middle of recieving oral from my girlfriend at the time.... I was all relaxed mallrats style and it just kind of happened.

Surprisingly she just kind of went eeek then continued despite the fact I was laughing at the whole situation.

Lufy

Lufy

Ithaca, NY
May 2004

NOV 16, 2005 06:37 PM

One night I went to a dunkin' donuts and ate, like, 10 or 12 donuts b/c I had missed dinner. Then, I went to my girlfriend's house and we started making out. The clothes came off, we ended up on her bed and right in the middle of french-kissing her I belched an amazingly large *burp* right in her mouth.

So what do I do? Instead of saying, "sorry" or some other statement of how that was not an appropriate act, I pulled back a bit, looked at her and said, "Uggg. Must've been those donuts."

Yeah... whatever ....she broke up w/ me right after that.

OctoberSeven

OctoberSeven

Downers Grove, IL
December 2002

NOV 17, 2005 05:01 AM

Lufy said:
One night I went to a dunkin' donuts and ate, like, 10 or 12 donuts b/c I had missed dinner. Then, I went to my girlfriend's house and we started making out. The clothes came off, we ended up on her bed and right in the middle of french-kissing her I belched an amazingly large *burp* right in her mouth.



Awesome.

mydogfarted

mydogfarted

Oakland, NJ
June 2003

NOV 17, 2005 09:07 AM

hotcurry said:
Oh, and I once had a guy ask me to blow him while he watched WWE.







...and I did. frown



Marry me? wink

The_Happy_Pig

The_Happy_Pig

United Kingdom
December 2004

NOV 17, 2005 09:25 AM

Tickle_Beans said:

datsun said:
I said, "that's your dick?"

yes, we'd been fooling around and he transitioned from fingers to penis without me even noticing. he wasn't generously proportioned... anyway, I faked an orgasm, and left really quickly. I felt really bad. but I was glad never to screw him again - woah was that a waste of time!




Cheese whiz, sister, maybe the problem isn't his "little" wiener, but rather, your TITANIC VAGINA! That's right, Thunder Vag', your days of "Small-dickery" propaganda are numbered...


...fellas, it's time we TAKE BACK THE STREETS!!




I just spat coffee all over my monitor.

I'm now going to start a band called Thunder Vag.

The_Happy_Pig

The_Happy_Pig

United Kingdom
December 2004

NOV 17, 2005 09:29 AM

I simply did a rather pungent fart in a moment of post coital bliss. We were lying wrapped in each others limbs looking into each others eyes. Then came the sound of a truck's air brake from my arse.

She hit me.

Rather hard.

turmoille

turmoille

Saint Stephen, SC
November 2005

NOV 17, 2005 10:14 AM

Meridon said:
One time, while really fucking super drunk and in a bizarre post orgasmic thing,

"I'm the Pope and you're an altar boy. Lick my genitals"

which progressed to

"I'm Mother Theresa and you're the Pope. Lick my genitals."

and just got weirder from there.

There was no genital-licking for me that night.




biggrin biggrin biggrin

can i keep you?

jedimindtrick

jedimindtrick

New York, NY
June 2004

NOV 17, 2005 10:16 AM

The_Happy_Pig said:
I simply did a rather pungent fart in a moment of post coital bliss. We were lying wrapped in each others limbs looking into each others eyes. Then came the sound of a truck's air brake from my arse.

She hit me.

Rather hard.



my boyfriend does this alot. smile

Techne

Techne

Cambridge, MA
August 2005

NOV 17, 2005 10:25 AM

I was 16, and it was Halloween. My Boyfriend and I were in a more wooded area of a local park and he was fingering me while I lay down on a tree that had fallen over. He tried to switch hands quickly but instead, just scratched basically from one end of my cunt to the other. It didn't hurt much then because of all of the endorphins so I just told him to stop. He was terrified that I would kill him. I then gave him head but I was still rather new at it and didn't have the timing quite right so I kind of fucked up on the dismount, so to speak and got a nice cum shot on my face, tits...and shirt. I ended up walking back without a shirt on and just my coat and realized after I'd calmed down that my cunt really hurt and that I was bleeding a lot. It didn't really stop hurting for the rest of the week. Not good times.

We went trick or treating later.

datsun

datsun

Richmond, CA
October 2004

NOV 17, 2005 10:26 AM

PurePhase said:

Tickle_Beans said:

datsun said:
I said, "that's your dick?"

yes, we'd been fooling around and he transitioned from fingers to penis without me even noticing. he wasn't generously proportioned... anyway, I faked an orgasm, and left really quickly. I felt really bad. but I was glad never to screw him again - woah was that a waste of time!




Cheese whiz, sister, maybe the problem isn't his "little" wiener, but rather, your TITANIC VAGINA! That's right, Thunder Vag', your days of "Small-dickery" propaganda are numbered...


...fellas, it's time we TAKE BACK THE STREETS!!




Fuck yeah!!! Brothers with lil baby dicks UNITE!


PS: J/K ladies


see, here's the thing. I don't have a problem with guys who have small penises. I was just startled by the transition. And I feel that guys with small dicks have an obligation to balance that fact with really good oral skills so as to make sure everyone gets satisfied. No hatred, just a surprise that I wouldn't be enjoying myself.

and my vag is tiny, I'l have you know! wink tongue

numbers

numbers

New York, NY
November 2002

NOV 17, 2005 12:53 PM

Last week I was with two women (separate evenings), and fell asleep receiving oral from both of them. Not that it was bad, I guess I just got really relaxed, like one of those people who fall asleep while doing yoga. I managed to talk my way out of both situations, but I really felt bad about it.

TheNewPope

TheNewPope

Portland, OR
December 2002

NOV 17, 2005 05:18 PM

This is the funniest thing I have ever read.

I can't remember being embarrassed at any time...I usually just get over it if anything strange happens.

Being drunk is always a huge liability for me, though. I say the most retarded things when I am drunk. My dick feels like corn....that is the kinda of thing I'd say, if I had a dick. confused

Maladjusted

Maladjusted

Forked River, NJ
August 2003

NOV 17, 2005 05:34 PM

This was more funny then anything else.
If I recall right..it was the second time having sex..with my now Best bud Michelle.
shes riding me..gets hers off..and I take control of her hips to work myself off,
alittle times goes by and im close,as I feel it comming I lift her off me in a rush..my cock slams against my stomach and I blow my load....right into my own mouth and all over my face....hahaha I gave myself a facial.
First thing out of my mouth was "What the fuck"..I told her what happened and we both just started laughing our asses off...
we still laugh about this to this day..haha her boyfriend..doesnt find it funny..ohh well.

Quirky

Quirky

Birmingham, AL
October 2005

NOV 17, 2005 05:51 PM

nyc_doll said:

The_Happy_Pig said:
I simply did a rather pungent fart in a moment of post coital bliss. We were lying wrapped in each others limbs looking into each others eyes. Then came the sound of a truck's air brake from my arse.

She hit me.

Rather hard.



my boyfriend does this alot. smile


It's because all of our muscles are relaxed, we are comfortable. It happened in Mallrats, too.

Maladjusted

Maladjusted

Forked River, NJ
August 2003

NOV 17, 2005 05:55 PM

haha thats great

hotcurry

hotcurry

Los Angeles, CA
June 2004

NOV 18, 2005 02:30 PM

mydogfarted said:

hotcurry said:
Oh, and I once had a guy ask me to blow him while he watched WWE.







...and I did. frown



Marry me? wink



Fine... but I am never moving back to New Jersey.

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