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chamelius

chamelius

Vallejo, CA
August 2004

OCT 28, 2005 02:23 AM

Let me start out by saying that I've lost mostly all my hope that I'll get inot a relationship with someone that is wish to be with. I've only had one....that lasted about 4 months until she got bored of me. Any other chick I've tried to ask out or do anything to that nature has always told me the whole "you're not my type" or "I like you as a friend." Why am I doomed like this? I just had a light fling with someone who ended up treating me like complete shit, and I do believe that I really dont know what to do. Everybody says I'm smart, but I cant get into a stable relationship with someone. And due to my childhood being what it was, I am overly bashful around strangers. I do know that everyone is gonna tell me to get over my bashfulness, but the normal social interaction majority of the population got in their youth, I didn't. I was the one outcast. Even the outcast thought I was. Any tips or such, would be deeply worshiped.

Jeff_Fries

Jeff_Fries

Humptulips, WA
September 2003

OCT 28, 2005 02:26 AM

Meaney

meaney

Chicago, IL
September 2003

OCT 28, 2005 06:19 AM

you're 19. if i'd given up everytime i got kicked down when i was your age... i mean, damn. i'd like to tell you that it gets easier. it does. but, at the same time, you should appreciate your 'loneliness' and use it for things you might not get a chance to do otherwise. i.e. make art. good luck.

PointBlank

PointBlank

New York, NY
November 2004

OCT 28, 2005 06:20 AM

who is this "loni" and why are you without her?

Hooraydiation

Hooraydiation

Boston, MA
October 2005

OCT 28, 2005 06:25 AM

I'm convinced that you're the embodiment of all my flaws and that, in order to better myself, I must slay you.

surface

surface

Vancouver, BC
October 2002

OCT 28, 2005 06:41 AM

what meaney said.
and be more confident.

Tadzi

Tadzi

Greeley, CO
April 2003

OCT 28, 2005 06:42 AM

it might have something to do with the fact women typcially dont like guys who whine like a bitch with a skinned knee.

abracadabra

abracadabra

Seattle, WA
April 2004

OCT 28, 2005 06:44 AM

why do beginner threads always start out this way?

Astrobouy

Astrobouy

United Kingdom
July 2005

OCT 28, 2005 06:52 AM

Yeah... it really does get easier. I had a terrible record with girls when I was 19. I'm not exactly a casanova now either, but a few flings in my early twenties helped me improve my confidence, and learn to "talk the language" whatever that might mean, and now I'm in a lovely committed relationship. It takes a while sometimes to find your niche in the world.
I sometimes feel like I missed out a bit compared to other guys, but then they missed out on what I got to experience. It was horrible, but at the same time I did my best work in those times, and that has given me a really strong base for the future. Now things are better I have difficulty thinking any thoughts of any worth whatsoever. I don't especially mind that because I have at least experienced the other state.

People are more like cats then they realise, we get lots of lives.

Meaney

meaney

Chicago, IL
September 2003

OCT 28, 2005 07:13 AM

surface said:
what meaney said.
and be more confident.



yes.

and remember:
money can't buy you love,
but it can pay for the therapy.

SnakePlissken

SnakePlissken

Corvallis, OR
December 2002

OCT 28, 2005 07:18 AM

PointBlank said:
who is this "loni" ?



It's Loni Anderson.

and why are you without her?



Because the original poster is obviously Burt Reynolds.

pmonkeyEsquire

pmonkeyEsquire

I'm lost
May 2004

OCT 28, 2005 07:18 AM

buy a bread maker. ladies love fresh baked bread!! wink

unravled

unravled

Portland, OR
August 2003

OCT 28, 2005 07:18 AM

Meaney said:
and remember:
money can't buy you love,
but it can pay for the therapy.


It can buy you sex,
which can make you more confident,
which will make you more attractive,
so that you can find love.

It works for some. I'm just saying.

pmonkeyEsquire

pmonkeyEsquire

I'm lost
May 2004

OCT 28, 2005 07:20 AM

seriously, a very good friend of mine didnt meet the man o dreams until she was in her 40s!!!! damn, to you that must make her ANCIENT!!! but hang in there, dood, and cut teh over dramatics. ladies hate that.

but the bread thing. Thats true.

Joual

Joual

Israel
October 2005

OCT 28, 2005 07:23 AM


money can't buy you love, but it can pay for the therapy



Plus chicks dig it when guys tell them they're in therapy. It shows 'em that you're a sensitive male who, um, yearns to be more in touch with his feelings. Trust me, it's gold! biggrin

Seriously, though, just keep going and you'll get more confidence in yourself. In my experience, that's what it's really about. Eventually you'll find a nice girl who likes you for you and you'll be in a relationship soon enough.

Meaney

meaney

Chicago, IL
September 2003

OCT 28, 2005 07:24 AM

unravled said:

Meaney said:
and remember:
money can't buy you love,
but it can pay for the therapy.


It can buy you sex,
which can make you more confident,
which will make you more attractive,
so that you can find love.

It works for some. I'm just saying.



what you do on your own time is none of our business, smarty pants!

Iseult

Iseult

United Kingdom
September 2005

OCT 28, 2005 07:28 AM

Perhaps you have unwittingly created a self-fulfilling prophesy: Your state of mind is clearly negative at present and it might be just this that is ensuring that your relationships do not work out. If you believe the worst will happen, then be under no illusions, the worst surely will happen.

Try to break this cycle somehow; it might be a good idea to stop placing so much importance on finding someone, instead you could forget about it for a while and relax: Immerse yourself in a project of some kind. People often find love when they least expect it (it is then that somebody has seen how that person really is, without the hang-ups) and without your anxieties, prospective partners may find you more approachable and attractive.

Your negative pre-conceived ideas (understandable as they are) will have certainly been reflected in your behaviour, whether you realised it or not and this will have had a detrimental effect on your relationships, so try to let those past experiences go. I have a feeling that it is these, which are so damaging to you, rather than your bashful nature.

Finally, people are attracted to a warm, positive person, so even if your past encounters have undermined your confidence, please do remember that such views of you are not accurate. You know yourself and what you are really like, so don't accept any less respect than that which you would bestow upon your girlfriend: You will never be happy if you are somebody's doormat and she will never respect you if you let her walk all over you. Focus on your good points (of which I'm sure there are many) and only give someone the time of day if they are really worthy of you.

Good luck! kiss

trevordbs

trevordbs

San Diego, CA
June 2005

OCT 28, 2005 07:29 AM

all you need is self confidence. it can get you a long way.

GuavaMadness

GuavaMadness

Miami, FL
October 2005

OCT 28, 2005 07:52 AM

chamelius said:

Any tips or such, would be deeply worshiped.



you can can buy me a drink and we can play some nintendo.

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

OCT 28, 2005 07:59 AM

Yeah, dude, once you've hit nineteen with no serious prospects, you're fucked for life.

Changes

Changes

Boston, MA
October 2005

OCT 28, 2005 08:00 AM

You're young and spry. You'll bounce back.

baudot

baudot

Oakland, CA
February 2004

OCT 28, 2005 08:18 AM

Are you brushing your teeth?
That goes a long way.

SuntLacrimae

SuntLacrimae

Eugene, OR
October 2005

OCT 28, 2005 08:21 AM

Why do you think you NEED a relationship? No single person is going to make everything okay or to "complete you" or any of that bullshit. You sound like a dependency problem just waiting to happen.

It sounds like you want a girlfriend to distract you from a general sense of loneliness, boredom, dissatisfaction, or what have you. I doubt that your current single status is the root of any of those feelings. Figure out what's wrong and fix it. Get a new job, a new hobby, new friends, go to school, quit school, move out of your parents' basement, etc.

When you are happy and content with yourself BY yourself, the girls will come a-running. But not until then. Girls can smell self-pity a mile away; the ones who smell it and come lookin' for love have issues. Watch out for them.

Good luck.

TReBlah

TReBlah

I'm lost
March 2005

OCT 28, 2005 08:26 AM

Tadzi said:
it might have something to do with the fact women typcially dont like guys who whine like a bitch with a skinned knee.



aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah....
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah....
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh....



aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh....
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh....

Tadzi

Tadzi

Greeley, CO
April 2003

OCT 28, 2005 08:29 AM

TReBlah said:

Tadzi said:
it might have something to do with the fact women typcially dont like guys who whine like a bitch with a skinned knee.



aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah....
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah....
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh....



aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh....
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh....



*slap*
GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF, MAN!

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