Not liking it?

Okay, you're not going to believe this. I've been on a five-and-a-half year dry spell. Well, I've been seeing this girl lately. Well, tonight after dinner she comes over to watch some Simpsons and we start making out. Eventually we make it upstairs. More making out, talking, laughing, cuddling, everything's great. We "dryhump" a bit and she gets off on it. I ask if I can go down, and she says okay, and I do, and she gets off two more times. Then she asks if I want her to return the favor. I say okay, but warn her that I've never had a good one. She starts and... it's not good for me. So not good, in fact, that I begin to lose my erection. I take her hand and guide her back up to just kiss me. She seemed really disappointed that I didn't like it, but I said, "It's not you. Maybe I just... don't like it." She said we could keep trying. My question is tripartite:

1) For everyone: What's wrong with me? Aren't guys supposed to love this? Was the Dryhumping too much friction that caused soreness, or do I have a bigger problem?
2) For the women: Is she going to feel bad or think I'm strange and not call me back? I want to see her again, and I don't want to scare her off.
3) For the guys: Is this really as rare as I think?

Personally, I've had about two good blowjobs in my life. They just don't work for me. Everyone is different. Different things work for different people. I wouldn't stress about it too much.

As for talking to her about it? I'd try a metaphor involving something like bananas. Some people love bananas, some people hate bananas, and it has everything to do with the people and nothing to do with the bananas.

1) It's not just you. I like a good blow job, but a good one is kind of rare. Try different things with her and see what's good for you. Maybe a good old sloppy hand job is the thing, who knows? As to the soreness, well, the dry hump can definitely be a factor. I know I get a bit painfully sensitive after a few good rounds of sex and its majorly uncomfortable after a bit.

3) Nope, I don't think so.

Ah dry humping... I remember it fondly. But it is almost always a recipe for disaster if you're still wearing your jeans and she's rubbing away like she's going to start a camp fire in your pants. So yes, I'd say there was some discomfort caused down there from round one.

2. You were good to her and gave her three orgasms... I would bet she'd like to see you again. However one of two things could happen the next time you get together, she may want to avoid the whole sucking cock bit until you bring it up again and give her the okay. Or 2 she may have a little bit of a quest to prove she can get you off and be all too willing to give it another go.

3. I am not a dude.

But, it all comes down to this: communicate with her. What about it was bad? Was she toothy? Did she have bad rhythm? No real grip on you? working the wrong part? You have to be a bit more specific. Not everyone is built the same or enjoys the same things.

1. I don't think it's all that strange... I don't like oral sex being performed on me, either (I'm a woman). Though I know that for me it's because I get self-conscious so I can't enjoy it.

2. She might have her feelings hurt a bit, and it might wound her confidence. Might feel sort of funny the next time you're together. Just give her a lot of attention and let her know that you really dig her and she'll get past it.

Hmm... the badness was due in large part to the soreness. Other things about it were nice. She took a lot of it, and didn't just concentrate on the head, which is nice. So we should probably nix the dryhumping. And as she said, "We can work on it, find out what works."

Oh, and for the record, since someone else mentioned it, I'm not a big fan or oral sex either. Love giveing and not so much a fan of getting. It's nice and kinda soothing, but I can't get off that way. So if the guy wats to give it a go it's a nice little bit of forplay, but no real sparks.

But you don't think she'll write me off all together? The kissing and cuddling were great, and we connect on a lot of levels. So even if she took out a restraiting order against my cock, I think I'd be fine, as long as I get to see her.

Then you're golden. She sounds like a keeper.

The soreness was most definitely a factor. Any time its painful (unless you're into that), its going to take away from the experience. Try again later. After your little trooper is ready to campaign again.

Her response was great. I don't see her running away from you. She said she wants to work on it. She may see it as a fun challenge.

The way I see it, she got off three times. I can't see her not calling...

1) Maybe it doesn't do it for ya... but more importantly, NO DRYHUMPING. In my opinion, that is the worst act of love/affection ever (I just wanted to vent that). You were definitely doing it too long, if you can attribute soreness to the issue.

2) You gave her an honest, straight-forward reason for the lack of excitement. Did she act funny after or something?

3)dunno... but I like it when women dress for the part - like a teddie or a nice mid-drift shirt with nothing else on. Maybe that will help..

"no real grip on you?" ..... I don't know, that was just funny.

I get sad when guys don't want/like blow jobs

a proper blow job is a beautiful thing

if I was that girl I would make it my mission to have you enjoy a blowjob, in the case that with continued efforts you still could not enjoy it I would consider you a lost cause and not worth my time

If you play your cards right, you should be golden.

breath, use your imagination and don't try too damn hard kid. You're using up all the blood

Some people just do a lot of licking with no hands or no real lips around up and down action. Just saying...

And yes, I know I'm a goof.

1 and 3. Really more "It feels good but not good enough to distract me from the pain.


[Edited on Aug 15, 2005 by Phased]

She told me up front no sex. When I invited her upstairs, she said, "sure, but... I'm not going to have sex with you."

Open communication + reasonable expectations - bull = 2 x happy people

1) if there was pain, that seems like a pretty logical explanation
2) theres really no way to tell what shes thinking so try not to worry about it
3) ive never had a blowjob i didnt like, but different strokes for different folks

also were there any drinks consumed?
because that sometimes makes it harder to get off

and to throw in my 2 cents: but when im not with a girl for a long time i find it a bit harder to be comfortable enough with the new girl untill i get used to her

[Edited on Aug 14, 2005 by DrStinkypants]

Only one drink each. And about 3 hours prior.

Yup, blow jobs are fantastic, but I've come (rim shot) across only one or two in my life that were actually memorable. They are also very difficult for me to explain to the giver of said head. I don't know how to explain how to do it or what would work better.

Amen! Welcome back!

Also, if she said that "we'll work on it" then she'll definitely call back or meet again.