Excuse me, I was sitting here...

my boyfriend intentionally pokes me with his boner. he thinks it's a laugh riot.

but, to answer your question: #1: i wouldn't sit on a man's lap if i was "just his friend". #2: if i did sit on a man's lap, i would assume that it would convey the message that i was interested in having more physical contact (most likely of a sexual nature) with said man. #3: if, after sitting on said man's lap, i noticed he had a boner, i would interpret this as a sign that he reciprocated my want for more physical contact, and procede from there.

the short of it: you missed the boat, sir. move along, now...

More than you can afford, pal.

Just fine, unravled, and Orko, I think you nailed it. That sounds about right to me. Re-examining the whole thing, I think it was the good decision at the time. Even if it got me laid, I think it was better not to go there with her.

(Now I burst into flames because she was hot).... Damn morals.

I'm from the school that says that if you are out with a girl at an establishment where drinks are served - and especially so if there has been "cuddling" in the past - and said date props herself down on my lap, there's a reasonable probability that she is not sitting there because the bench or stool is less comfortable.

If it was sexual relations I was after then I entertain her. If I'm lookin' for just a friendly girl sitting on my lap (is there such a thing?) then I get up and offer her the seat. Either way, she wanted your cock, buddy.

A similar question has plauged the minds of great scientists - Schrodinger's Pussy.

Look, unless she's been hiding in a hole for the past . . . well, forever, she knows what a cock is and what it does. She sits on your lap like that and it's fucking on. Period.

I agree.

The question was obvious in your first post. It's water under the bridge but in such situations, I'd say, the etiquette is to force her hand -- i.e., leave her in your lap and see what happens. If nothing happens after a couple of drinks, and you want it to, then make something happen. If she slaps you, dump her on the floor and say, "Hey, now you can really call me your ex-boyfriend!" Then walk away. My guess is, she wouldn't have slapped you, and the evening would have turned out well for you. (Had you then married her, your life would have become a living hell, because she is neurotic, but you could have had that one night and maybe a few more.) Like I said: water under the bridge. Do differently next time. There will probably be one.

Five cents, please!

if she initiates the lap sitting, which it seems so in this case, i'd say let it go until she laughed or said something...
but you did what you felt appropriate at the time, and it was the "nice guy" thing to do...

just don't forget, we finish last man...

If I intentionally sit in a man's lap I am trying to cause a boner.

But alas, your ship has sailed.

*offers hotcurry a lap to sit on*

***

But anyway, mastvam, in the situation you describe, your boner would have been acting like the periscope of a submarine. Poking up through the surface cautiously, "eyeing" the surroundings, getting a feel for the situation etc..
This girl was no random stray, you had already established cuddling, and probably had even innocently touched eachother's lower abdomen areas a few times while hugging etc...
And, as Clara so clearly stated, if she was not into the 'lil guy coming up for a peek, she would have stood up, or moved a certain way, or otherwise let you know.
But, in the end, if the two of you really had the hots for eachother, and were so close, then you probably would have found another opportunity, eventually, to do some furthur exploration.

Indeed.

All signs point to: "pop the boner, asshole."

I had no internet for a while and I am surprised this thread lived as long as it did...

StickyRice, you did call this one, she was pretty neurotic. Obviously this was not the only situation where I could have expressed my interest in her, and I moved on after realizing that while I could have let the friendship evolve into a relationship, I didn't want to sign up for that ride.

The question was more about the specific situation, not this woman in general.

When in doubt, let the periscope take a look around. Seems settled.

If someone sits on you, first determine if they want your lunch money. If they do not want your lunch money, give them a hug.

Yeah, the seat on the other side of the table was vacant... Doh. But, as I said earlier, I think I recognized the neurosis and this is why I moved.

Oh. In that case either adjust it so it's calmly tucked behind your belt, or tell her that you're sitting on your wallet at a bad angle and could she please get up for just one second while you adjust and ahh, there, that's so much better, would you care to resume your seat my dear?

General situation, woman in specific.

This is just funny.

Correct, but funny.

.

[Edited on Aug 28, 2005 by Jeff_Fries]

live with no regret. everything happens for a reason. it is fate and it is fucked up sometimes.