Sometimes they come back...

...over the past two or three years, I've had an unusually large number of guys that I've dated or been interested in come back to my life.

The guy I dated right before my last boyfriend and I went out to dinner with two or three times lately. A former personal trainer I met at the gym three years ago (and had a falling out 1 and 1/2 years ago with) is now calling me and IMing. An old bedbuddy periodically keeps asking me to come over.

Why do people return to your life? Why can't they either make things work out the first time or not and then move on permanently? And should these people simply remain a "blast from the past," or can lightning really strike again twice? Does it ever really work out when people try to get back together?

It can work, but only if the people involved actually learned from what went wrong before. It depends on what was at the root of the break up and whether that issue has been overcome and whether there was enough good in the relationship that is work trying again for.

No one like to be forgotten.
So these guys are feeling lonely perhaps, or you really stood out in their minds and so they want to stick out in yours!

"Does it ever really work out when people try to get back together?"

I have a prefect example for you.

My mom was married to my dad for 24 years. That's sort of a long time. They were never really happy. My dad is obsessive about weird things, and makes shit up in his mind about what he thinks my mom is doing. Everything revolves around him.
During the last year of their failing marraige, my mom told my dad she was done, and wanted to seperate. He took it upon himself to assign the sin of adultery, and said that nothing had been wrong prior to her wanting to leave, and surely she must be cheating on him. He accused her of cheating on him throughout the entire marraige, because surely it wasn't his fault she wanted to leave him. My dad asked all of us, repeatedly, if we ever saw my mom with another man. Asked us repeatedly if she ever left us alone for long periods of time. Which, for the record, she never did.
The final straw was when my dad contacted old friends and boyfriends of my mom. He called everyone she had gone to high school with and accused them of ruining his marraige. One of them, was my mom's ex-husband. The ex-husband, who now had my parents number and address since my dad had contacted, called my mom and asked if she was ok... because it sounded like she was in real danger from this psycho who thinks a ghost from her past is still seeing her. My parents seperated, and divorced, and my mom stayed in contact with the ex she hadn't seen in almost 30 years.
After the divorce was final, she continued to talk to the ex. It had been the first marraige for both of them, and they had gotten married straight out of high school. They had been high school sweethearts, and for some reason the hasty marraige at 18 hadn't worked out. But now, 29 years later, they realized that the spark never died. All because of an obsessive guy who contacted a blast from her past.
My mom and her ex husband are now engaged, again, and have been happily living together on the opposite side of the country from my dad for two years now. They plan on getting the original divorce, from a quarter of a century ago, annulled.

So, yes, sometimes old flings can work. Better than before.

WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!

After a third and final try with an old college girlfriend we both agreed to hang it up. Would I give it a fourth try? If she approached me the right way, probably. Some people you just have a connection to is what I've found. I've had this happen recently as well.

My current course of action is to spend my precious time on the new, and leave the past where it is. But I've definitely given people second, and third, chances.

An ex is like herpes or taco bell....every time you think it's gone, it comes back with a vengeance and makes you hate life. At least that is what I hear.

Eeeek, did you get a restraining order? I know it's none of my business technically, but I'm so curious about what happened! And relieved that you're OK, of course. There are definitely some wierdos in this world.

They come back because of the horny.

Infuriating and true.

Alright, but what about people you haven't slept with? Like people you've had crushes on and who weren't interested at the time, or people that you dated and didn't sleep with? Along those lines? For example, I never slept with the personal trainer. That would probably change if he weren't stationed in Alaska for Airborne traning right now.

[Edited on Aug 09, 2005 by Samadhi]

It's funny that the ones that hurt me come back and I'm no longer even attracted to them, and I can toy with their emotions muahahaaa

ohh yeah

I do that to anyone that ditches me

an old buddy who only wants to hang out when she's lost another boyfriend IM'ed me

I gave her shit for an HOUR

an ex girlfriend of mine actually moved in with me not too long ago.

and not just "an ex girlfriend" she was more like THE ex girlfriend...the one that set the standard for all things after her. I needed a roommate, and she needed a place to live, so we tried it out.

and surprisingly enough, I have never had a better roommate. Nothing is "going on" between us at all, and we're getting along great.

OH! I've seen this porn.

That sums it up pretty well, actually.

I am friends with my ex because we keep running into each other out in public. Granted sometimes it's because we have a lot in common and KC is a relatively speaking a small scene. However weird stuff keeps happening we can't explain. For example I bought tickets for Garbage in a large venue. When I arrived I found out she had seats right in front of me even though we bought our tickets at seperate locations and times. At the White Stripes show her dad had seats right next to me. Luckily she found a great guy and i don't run into her as much as I used to.

I've never been able to get over my first ex.for six years she's been the only thing i can think about. i feel like i've been cursed.We parted on angry terms last summer. then she showed back up about halloween time and we had never got along so good. it was like a dream almost. she moved but she still found a way back to me. Then the visits just stopped. no expalnation as to why. i've been haunted by many visions and theories as to where she is. I want answers but my soul tells me i don't want to know.

my parents are getting remarried this fall. they were together for 32 years the first time around, until my dads midlife crisis. my mom's convinced him to buy a motorcycle again instead...

Oh, SQUEEEEED...you always toy with my emotions...when are you going to come to the Orlando area and do just that?

By the way, you should give me your number sometime so you can hear the way I say: "SQUEEEEED."