Celibacy

So I'm now 7.5 weeks into active and voluntary celibacy.

None of my friends seem to get why I'm doing this, because I've always been someone who was sexually adventurous, and infrequently single.

But, the thing is, I'm tired of the energy I spend on relationships and dating. I'm tired of people who want to posess me, rather than join me.

I'm tired of being alone.. and whenever I've been with someone for a long time, that's how I've felt. I want something superlative, something beyond the normal. Someone who understands who the hell I am, and who can deal with the fact that I am a lot of different things to a lot of different people.

So the question is, anyone else here ever actively avoided relationships and sex for any period of time? Why did you do it? What did you achieve?

I did it...pretty much for the same reasons as you. My partner and I had taken a break (he had gone away on tour for 2.5 years) and decided to see other people and we thought if in the future we were to be together it would be good to see other people as we were quite young. I dated boys+girls andhad some one night stands and stuff, but all the relationshipd with those people became way too complicated and I didnt want to deal with it.
I like time to do things I need to do and I found that when I had been having sex with these people they either demanded my attention or I found myself not focusing on things that I do (playing music) because they all created too much fucking drama!

I stocked up on batteries and hung out with myself

Benny came back form tour and had seen some people so eventually we were hanging out heaps and now we are back together (all up, not counting time apart we have been together for 7 years)
thats my happy ending.

sorry for the long post

not actively....but i've had celibacy thrust upon me.

for 2 years.

I don't know that having it thrust upon you really counts.. I mean, you're not actually choosing to reject all advances, now are you?

does a long distance relationship with celibacy count?

I've avoided seeking out romantic/intimate relationships of any kind for a very long time now, and things are going to remain that way. The initial reason hardly seems to matter anymore, and I'm not even sure how it started.

What I do know is that I'm too old and apathetic for casual dating as most people my age seem to have their minds set on marriage and family, which is unlikely to happen with me. I dislike most people, despise children, and have seen too many sour and disasterous marriages and relationships among friends and coworkers.

Why yes, over 20 years. I gave up before I started.

7.5 weeks doesn't count.

I'm in the early stages of actively avoiding relationships and physical intimacy. The energy is not something I want to expend on other people right now. I definitely miss sex incredibly, but I have some repairations to make in my own life since a very painful ending of a relationship.

I'm not ready for the effort and the hurt again, and find life less complicated when not involved with anyone right now. This wasn't by choice, but it's my response to how my relationship ended.

I don't think you are talking about voluntary celibacy so much as you are forsaking empty physical acts with strangers to avoid the emotional damage that results.

Perhaps you had the epiphany that sex for its own sake, so simply satisfy the craving for the act, is perhaps the lonliest act we can perform.

Or something like that.

my M.O. seems to be that ill date someone for a long time and have lots of sex, then ill be single for a long time with no meaningless hookups in between before i date the next girl. i am/was a serial monogomist. however, in light of recent circumstances, its never to late to change.

though im not sure if that counts as celibacy...once, many years ago, i got hurt very badly by someone and became extremely averse to anything sexual, which was complicated by my seeing someone. well, we started to get serious, and she wanted sex, but i was still leary. long story short, i didnt have sex with the girl until wed been together for 6 months. does that count?

I'm edging towards it. Sex is great and all, but the fallout tends to be miserably painful.

When you hear people complaining about the horrible relationships they are involved in every day, I must admit that it is ultimately quite refreshing to do what you want to and have to answer to no one.

It blows my mind to see someone recovering from a destructive relationship working their way right back into another, while still complaining about the lying, cheating, backtalking, and financial woes of the previous one.

Depends on what you want out of life I suppose.

Welcome to the fold. I celebrated my four year mark on July 11th. No hassles, no stress, and no worries. Hang in there, after the two year mark your urges will fade away.

He's right ya know.

when did sg become full on nuns? lol

It's good to have a break now and again as long as it is for the right reasons. There's nothing like it for sorting your head out and getting out of repetitive relationships.

anyone wanna hump?

Speaketh the puppy murderer.

I almost became a priest.

When I was 18, a girl showed me that was a dumb idea and have not avoided sex since.

Hey I m a guy of course I avoid relationships!!!!


No seriously I do for a few reasons but the main one is because I m young and want to live my life and do what I want and not have to worry about someone else. I m just not ready to put what other people want before what I want.

Plus I don t want to wake up one day when I m 45 and think 'If only I d done that when I was younger!!''

That maybe a selfish reason but it's how I feel

It's not just meaningless sex I'm avoiding.. There's at least a couple of guys in my life right now that would like to be meaningful to me.. I'm avoiding the relationships though,

I feel like I *want* that special something too much, so there's no way to actually make a good decision on where to find it.. so I might as well just avoid everything..

Rather be alone by myself than alone with someone else.

That's Mr.Puppy Murderer to you...

I would totally be celibate if I could forget what sex was like. Sometimes I lie to myself and say I'm celibate but even when I'm not I'm just not very actively seeking sex.