"marriage material"

In one of those sobering moments when you notice a pattern that you first feel proud of noticing and then wish you hadn’t, because of what it might mean, I figured out my last three breakups came about – in every instance – mainly because she wanted to get married and I didn’t. Already been down that road.

This isn’t meant to open up the whole subject of “commitment fear” (though if anyone wants to have a go, then fine), and I know some will scoff at the whole matrimony idea. But marriage, like puppies, holds some kind of appeal. Note the sweet and altogether deserved outpouring at freckle's recent announcement.

What I’m curious about, though, is: What makes a guy, as they used to say in the old days, marriage material? What makes a woman think about him that way? I realize it depends on the woman, depends on the man, etc., but I wonder what SG people will say.

I'd say marriage material is someone who makes you never want to be with anyone else. A lifer. But that's just me

Penis size.

That tells me more about Randy than I needed to know.

I met two luvverly just-engaged couples in my recent travels. One was freckle and her boy, the other was miss unravled up there and her well-endowed lad of choice.

There is no definitive answer to this question. Not to mention relationships change several times throughout their natural progression.

There is a simple answer though. What makes a man marriable is the same thing that makes a woman marriable. The foresight to see that things will change, and if you want it to work, YOU need to work at it. There will be times when you hate eachother, and their will be times when you wish to be with others, but through it all you need to perservere. Both people need to be involved as well. There is no such thing as a one sided marriage, and if you find yourself a party to one, expect to be single shortly.

The first step to becoming marriage matterial is wanting it. This all depends on the person you intend to join with. Sometimes, you just aren't feeling it. That's OK. But, when you do, don't shove it aside. Want it.

I couldn't say for sure, mostly because I get dumped before I can find out.

I like Sinistar's explanation though, and I think it holds true in people that I've seen together for a long time, like my parents. I guess I've still got a few things to learn from them.

Marriage material? For me- smart, ambitious, kind, has his act together, good conversationalist and makes me laugh. Oh and sexual compatability. Those are things that come into play in the long term, along with things I need to be interested in just anybody like good looks, common interests, and mutual attraction.

As shown above, I can only give a curosry list of my personal preferences, but I think I know what you mean in any case. I used to have guys tell me all the time that 'someday they were going to marry a girl like me' and that I'm the kind of girl 'they'd settle down with'. I started to see a bit of a pattern myself, too. No one ever saw me as hook-up material, only relationship material. Which, in one particular case, I'm extremely grateful for.

Damn, am I ever glad no one told my wife.

What's her email address?

Don't give it to her.

I know every thread is on the verge, at all times, of becoming an excuse for guys to talk about their cocks, as lil_tuffy has pointed out elsewhere. Dagny, Luminaire and Sinistar, though ... interesting.

I married Bluetrust because every day I was with him was always better than the day before.
And even when it got bad it was never worth breaking up over.
Plus he cooks, makes me laugh, watches cartoons with me, brings me tea, and gives great head.

Somewhere on the internet, there's a "What he says, what he means" humor piece and one part sticks out above all others in my mind.

What he says: Will you marry me?
What he means: I want it to be illegal for you to have sex with other people.

I was dumped once because she said that I was marriage material, and she wasn't ready to get married yet. To this day, I still have no fucking clue what she was talking about. I think it had something to do with wanting to screw lots and lots of guys, though.

a thick... wallet...

yep, same with me, well not the type that they wanted to marry, I think I was a bit rough around the edges when i was younger.

Yeah, the right answer is it's different for everyone. For me, I know I couldn't marry a guy who wasn't a cyclist. It is such a huge part of my life that I know he'd get jealous of the bike. Obviously that's not a priority for other people. I've found men who have already had kids and been a father to them tend to have their egos checked in a big way. If you're a good father, you've got to do some pretty un-manly stuff. It also tends to make guys more responsible and more sensitive. For me what did it was compatible personalities and an excellent conflict resolution style, (after ten months we have yet to have an explosive fight of any kind- or even anything more than the once-a-month low-blood-sugar-related passive agressive comment.) total honesty, (except on the occasional little white lie to maintain sanity) and the fact that we were equally insane for each other. Respect, trust, equally intense sex drive, open and frequent conversations about money, living, children, etc. Similar (but different enough to afford for critical inquiry and learning on both people's part) philosophies on things like politics, money, religion, and kids, similar social life/social adeptness, and we both think the other person is smokin' hot. And most of all, we both wanted marriage from the very beginning. After our very first date, when he looked at me and said, "You're it," and it didn't freak me out....and I responded without thinking, "I was just going to say that!" without feeling corny, strained, contrived, or doubtful in the least...I dunno, that was it.

Marriage material is someone who-- suddenly you look up and you realize that you are already spending the rest of your life with them every day-- and you're ecstatic about it.

Edited to add: whoops, the heterosexual relationship in little 'ol bisexual me forgot to add that obviously this could go for same-sex partnerships as well.

[Edited on Jul 26, 2005 by Query]

So we're getting married then? Don't tell MisterSatan.

8675309@jenny.com

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife..."

It depends absolutely on the two people involved. When you're talking in really general terms I think it just means you have similar priorities, desires, needs; whatever those are.

For me, I could list the reasons I'm happy to be married to my husband all day and all night, and even then it's so much more than that, more than the sum of all the parts. And I find new reasons every day.