Sex Talk

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7/4/08
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Halx

Halx

New York, NY
May 2008

JUN 13, 2008 11:23 PM

Dear girl who could never be mistaken for fucking me,

Your preoccupation with being in just-the-perfect-position was a boner killer. Once you found that position, you stayed there and it was like fucking a sack of rice.

Sincerely,

Halx

Fynx

Fynx

SUICIDEGIRL

Ontario, Canada

JUN 14, 2008 11:13 AM

Dear - guy-I'm-currently-dating,

You are an engineer, shy not very experienced guy dating a chick who likes to be naked on the internet and has nipple piercing - missionary in the dark ain't gunna cut it anymore. Read some info online, learn what it means to slow kiss/sensuality and stop giggling when I do something sexually out of the ordinary. You are five years older than me - grow up.

Nicoletta

Nicoletta

Hamilton, ON
November 2007

JUN 23, 2008 07:58 AM

Dear asshole who fucked me badly,

I should have walked out the door once I realized that you had lied on the phone and were actually 12 years older than you said you were. Your cock was small and you could hardly stay hard. Youu wouldn't take no for an answer when it came to anal and you kept making sick references to my dog! puke

In contrast, the friend you brought along was sweet, hung, and a good fuck. Give the man some money and take lessons, you pathetic fuck.

Nic

Kaliska

Kaliska

New York, NY
May 2007

JUN 23, 2008 09:03 PM

Olvido said:
Dear almost everyone i had fucked :
when i saw what was in your pants i dindt knew if i was suppossed to cry or laugh......... anyway i was too drunk so.... sorry for fall asleep while you where doing.... whatever it was you where doing..... didnt feel shit..... biggrin tongue



+1

Hopey

Hopey

Corvallis, OR
January 2004

JUN 24, 2008 10:43 PM

Subrosa said:
Dear Person that fucked me badly,

You were the hot goth girl at my high school. So when we ran into eachother 8 years later and I found out you lived a mile from me, I suggested we hang out. I didn't know you were going to get all "I need someone to bust my post-relationship cherry" on me after the Alkaline Trio show I dragged you to, but I wasn't going to complain.

That is, until after 3 minutes you came then immediately jumped out of bed before I could finish for a shower. I mean, I don't want to have to quote Van Halen, but "Come on baby finish what you started."!

Not to mention the complex you gave me that I was so repulsive that women needed to shower immediately afterwards touching me. Or at least I had it until you made two more booty calls (yeah, I'm a sucker) and each time I ended up with soaked sheets, no orgasm, and a clump of dyed black hairs in my shower drain.

What the fuck?



Dear Subrosa,

Your shower always has lots of hair in the drain, stop bitching and use the shower to wank in.

PS I washed my hands in scalding hot water after hugging you.

Love you,

Hopey

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