Dear Person that fucked me badly

I was wondering when this would happen.

dear ryan dipietro,

please keep your bass guitar away from me. it doesn't compensate for your lack of a penis.

monkeybutt

Dear Monkeybutt,

You shouldn't be intimidated just because something is long and hard. If you stopped smoking crack you would probobly be able to get it up again.

Ryan Dipietro

Dear Guy that sucks in bed,

You need to trim your god damn finger nails, wash your nuts, train yourself to last longer, and learn to take suggestions instead of offense. You are NOT the god of fuck!

~Nish

Heh.

I suppose it was only a matter of time.

Dear Little miss shit don't stink. If your gonna have drunk sex with me, make sure you don't pass out in the middle of it and leave me with blue balls, and it is quit unlady like to fart on my leg when your soppy drunk passed out.

Ha, awesome.

Dear Person That Fucked Me Badly,

I should have just told you instead of cheating on you. Sorry.

-unravled

Dear My bitchy ex girlfriend:


It really isn't fucking pleasurable to use your teeth. I *know* it is called oral and that you brush your teeth to have good oral hygiene ... but really - that is AS FAR as it goes with "oral" and "teeth".

Dear sXe boy,

The shy cuteness is cute..................but not in bed. Your penis was BEAUTIFUL, big and fat. It is a DAMN shame that you don't know how to use such a perfect appendage. A damn shame.
Just fuck me................do it.

Sincerely,

Had to take over in seattle

[Edited on May 27, 2005 by hopey]

Hahaha

Dear Jeff,

You are a fucking wanker.
Fucking multiple people of both genders without protection is dumb beyond belief.
You are going to die one day if you don't take more care.
Yes we absolutely had to use a condom and next time you might take more time with it- an ass does not self-lubricate btw.

Get yourself tested.

Me
x

What's worse about reading this is that I have the uncanny notion that this was a ...actually ... I just gagged thinking about what I was gonna type. I'll pass.

Dear person who fucked me badly,

Sometimes I like the pulling of the hair.

But when I tell you "ow" it means I would really appreciate it if you stopped. And even moreso, when I tell you "stop" I'd like you to stop. See how that works?

And did you even notice that I wasn't doing anything? Not moving, not talking, nothing? I was hoping you'd actually get pissed at me for being a bad lay and stop.

I couldn't even muster up the will to fake it for your sake.

That girl from Texas

Dear Girl with Acne in Disgustingly Suprising Places,

I hope you have some understanding of how to please a man these days. If you've cleared up those numerous numerous blemishes; fixed the smell; and groomed just a little, you're probably on the right track. Oh, and I faked it.

Peace out.

dear engineer's for a nameless car company,

go back to school you have no idea what engineering is. it means to make something work and work repeatedly millions of times. engineering also implies that in the event that it breaks, it is quickly, safely and EASILY repaired. do not hide things make them hard to reach or that will disturb other things. you can not network 8 modules. there is no need for 8 modules to begin with. maybe 1 or 2. computers can multi task already.

manic mechanic

Dear Person That Fucked Me Badly



It was still pretty good. Thanks.


Ben

Dear Claudia and Kim,

Fucking you both was a pointless waste of time.
I only did it because only a fucking idiot would pass up a threesome.
I might as well of had a wank.

Love and Boredom

Me
x

You are such a DUDE

I wish I was getting laid as much as you.

You're so jealous.

That is some high tech fuckin

Has anyone ever told you that you kinda look vaguely like Rocco Strifeddi?