Dear Person I Fucked Badly, ...I'm sorry.

Ha ha ha ha, ace.

Dear Person I Fucked Badly,
I sincerely apologize. I was so very drunk, and so very high, I hardly even remember that night. I do remember that you fell on your ass on the way to my apartment and I was so horny that I didn't even bother helping you up, I just said 'hurry'. You were easily the easiest ass I ever got and for that I am thankful. I should have at least shown you a good time. But apparently, it 'happens to every guy' at one point or another.
Either way, I'm sorry.
Zepp

I was just looking through this thread again, and had completely forgotten I posted in it years ago!

I see that my thinly veiled, satirical parody of just about every woman's post in here still holds true after all these years. I always knew I should have been a psychologist.

Dear K,

I'm sorry for falling asleep.
It was my narcolepsy - honest.

Love, K.
x

Dear Person I Fucked Badly,

I had just gotten dumped, and I SO wanted to be with her more then anyone else. But since I couldn't, you were an acceptable substitute...so long as I closed my eyes and thought of her. I know all the swearing probably threw you off (seeing as you asked me to watch it with the f-word at least 2 or 3 times), but She liked me talking dirty in bed and it was starting to kill the fantasy if I kept my mouth shut.

Oh, and sorry for never talking to you again...but me and Her got back together the next day. Could have been awkward.

CJ.

Dear Asshole Who Fucked Me Badly, (yes, I am changing it around)

We were in college back in 1999 and you knew I was a virgin. You manipulated me into thinking you were this great guy. We went on dates. We talked. We laughed. And then the night when I said I was "ready", what did you do?
That's right. You were an asshole. You got up, threw me into the bathroom, face over the toilet and .......... FUCK YOU!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!!!!!
After all these years, it is still in my head. Where is my apology? Where is my letter you fuck faced asshole? I hope you die a horrible death. I hate you. And it's your fault I didn't finish school. It's your fault I am who I am today. You should rot. I hate you.

All my love,

Skoosh

Okay finished. Please, continue.

^^^ ahem...

Hmm. I don't think her problem stemmed from just a bad shag...

Good call, Lucifer. I wish it had been.
Didn't see the other thread. I was actually amazed I was the only one bitching. I kept thinking, this can't just be me. And shit, there's a whole other thread.

Dear #1 Person I Fucked Badly,

I'm sorry. I was thoroughly inexperienced at the time. I (tried) gave you head and knew you didn't get off. And then I put my dick in you, but you rarely get off from that you say. Thanks for giving me about four tries. I'm better now.

Sincerely,
B

Dear #2 Person I Fucked Badly,

Did you notice how wasted I was? Did you notice how I threw up before I hopped into bed. I'm trying to reason why you slept with me. I'm thinking you didn't want to drive home drunk. That dude with your best friend got lucky by crashing with us. I don't think I've ever struggled with intercourse so much. To tight? Whiskey dick? Way too drunk to figure that one out. I think you may have known my state since you yanked me from my attempt to eat you out. Thanks for the better head from you. But I didn't come, nor did you. I'm disappointed in my performance and like to please others.

Truly sorry,
B

Dear Person I fucked Badly, I am sorry.

We kept doing it again and again, so many times we tried and hoped the fucking would one day get good, or at least be not bad. But it was bad, each and every time. Because we were married to each other, our options were limited, and we muddled through it. I began to wish that I didn't require sex.
I am so glad we got past that and started fucking other people. Hats off to you and your (hopefully) good fucking. I'm doing better myself. Before she left, the latest girl told me she was using me for sex (!)

Carry on.

Dear Person I fucked Badly,
It's not your fault that you aren't him.
Although, in your favor, you give good face and love to do it...I just find myself wishing he was doing it instead of you.
Unfair, I know.
I'm so sorry.

Dear Attractive German Au Pair,

I'm sorry I had a rough time keeping it up. Maybe it was your ferocious and slobbery way of making out, maybe I was drunk, or maybe it was just the way you yanked on my dick like this was your bus stop . Also, you were much less exciting without your clothes on than I had expected. Buzz kill right?
Either way, that was in 2007, I'm sure we've both had better luck since.

Dear Person I Fucked Badly,

All your cocky talk made me assume you were going to be the dominant one. I should have taken control when that never happened. Well now we know better. If I want good sex i won't be scared to say what i want.