Sex Talk

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10/28/10

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Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

MAY 26, 2005 08:51 PM

Dear Girl I Had A One Night Stand With In March of 2003,

It was supposed to be so good. It was supposed to be the best sex of our lives. But it wasn't. And I'm writing you here, on this website that you don't read and hopefully never will, to apologize for that.

We had been friends for 10 years. Close friends. We were the kind of "friends" where both of us knew that one day, when neither of us were attached, we'd hook up. But even despite that sexual tension (or perhaps because of it), we were nakedly and unabashedly honest with each other from day one. We were so close and free and easy with each other that I even tricked myself into thinking there was a chance we'd be together in the end. So, in January of 2003, when I was single and you called me and told me that you were single now too AND you were coming to SF in March... Well, I got excited. And then... I got nervous. And then... I started to panic. And then... I got REALLY, REALLY excited.

When the day finally came, I was so nervous and so excited and so mistakenly deluded that I was in love with you... that I fucked you very, very badly. I meant it to be tender and explosive and powerful. Instead, it was joyless and awkward... like a 55 year old with erectile dysfunction clumsily flailing away at his uninterested trophy wife. You said you came, but I'm 95% sure you faked it (thanks for that, by the way... if you hadn't I probably would have cut my dick off after you left.) Regardless, I wish I had an excuse for my putrid pussy pounding performance... like if I were sick or tired or drunk or something... but I don't. I just sucked. And not in that good way.

You're married now, and I'm deeply in love with someone else so this isn't a "If only I hadn't turned in such a stinker we would still be together" letter. We both know we wouldn't. Instead, this is a note to let you know that simply that I'm much better than that, really. I swear. And I hope you forgive me. And that's all.

Sincerely,
Subrosa


Post your own "Dear Person I Fucked Badly, ....I'm sorry" story below.

[Edited on May 27, 2005 by Subrosa]

FreakPirate

FreakPirate

Canada
November 2002

MAY 26, 2005 08:56 PM

It would be far easier for me to write "Dear Person I Fucked Well... You're Welcome" letters.

Here it is:

Yeah... I've got nothing.

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

MAY 26, 2005 08:58 PM

FreakPirate said:
It would be far easier for me to write "Dear Person I Fucked Well... You're Welcome" letters.

Here it is:

Yeah... I've got nothing.



Well, not all of us are Asian Canadian Sex Gods. I applied for the position and was rejected, so let's not rub it in, OK?

squee_

squee_

Grand Marais, MN
September 2004

MAY 26, 2005 08:58 PM

All of mine are mediocre. Not great. Not bad. But at least I am consistent.

FreakPirate

FreakPirate

Canada
November 2002

MAY 26, 2005 08:59 PM

Subrosa said:

Well, not all of us are Asian Canadian Sex Gods. I applied for the position and was rejected, so let's not rub it in, OK?



Well if you find out who got the job could you let me know? I'm going to stab the fucker in the head.

Alukh

Alukh

SUICIDEGIRL

Oregon, USA

MAY 26, 2005 08:59 PM

Dear Ex-Harem Member,

Sorry I wasn't really into it that last time, but at least I told you why right afterwards. I'm happy that you're married now and that we still keep in touch.

Thank you for the Hitachi Magic Wand. smile

-Alukh

PatrickY

PatrickY

Vancouver, WA
December 2003

MAY 26, 2005 09:01 PM

Is this one of those late night, self-loathing things?

Cause I'm soooooo good at those.

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

MAY 26, 2005 09:01 PM

squee said:
All of mine are mediocre. Not great. Not bad. But at least I am consistent.



I think there's something to be said for that.

What that "something" is, I don't know. wink

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

MAY 26, 2005 09:02 PM

Alukh said:
Dear Ex-Harem Member,

Sorry I wasn't really into it that last time, but at least I told you why right afterwards. I'm happy that you're married now and that we still keep in touch.

Thank you for the Hitachi Magic Wand. smile

-Alukh



See, now there's the spirit! It's all about catharsis.

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

MAY 26, 2005 09:03 PM

PatrickY said:
Is this one of those late night, self-loathing things?

Cause I'm soooooo good at those.



Bingo.

bluevalentine

bluevalentine

San Antonio, TX
December 2003

MAY 26, 2005 09:04 PM

Dear Person I Fucked Badly,

I honestly did as best as I could. Me, on the rebound. You, first person I had slept with since the break up. I'd known you, what, 14 hours? But we were together for 14 hours straight, even to the point where we both ended up on the verge of tears talking about how your father had passed away in June but your family only bothered to tell you that night in February. I liked your company and I liked you. But when it got down to it, I snapped.

The last place I wanted to be was there with you, in your bed, under you. You weren't HIM and I wasn't sure how to make myself work with a new partner. I had to relearn a body all over again and I didn't know where to start. I forgot that sometimes a girl has to offer some instruction as well. I froze, faked it, let you cum on me and then I told you I had to get home to let my dog out.

You asked me out that Friday. Again, we end up at your place and I hope its going to be better. I didn't drink that night on purpose just so I'd have my wits about me. It was no different. I didn't know what I was doing. I spent the evening TRYING to be a good lover instead of just being a good lover.

I wrote a note as you slept saying I had a great time and to call me if you wanted to hang out again. You woke up just as I was signing my name. It was only 6 am.

And two weeks later, there you were at our bar. And with great reservations, I kissed you. and i took you home. and it was wonderful. As was the time after that. And the time after that. And so on.

Then one night I actually did have to get home so I could drive to San Antonio 4 hours later and as I left, apologising for having to make a quick getaway, you told me "Its ok. You'd probably just end up leaving me here at 6 am again"

And I realised you actually noticed that I wasn't always there when you'd wake in the morning. I never thought you'd notice.

If only I had been able to let myself go from the clutches of someone elses body sooner than I had. If only I hadn't been so scared. If only I hadn't figured "he wouldn't consider a relationship with me. I'm doing him a favor by leaving." If only I was there for that first morning cigarette.

....then maybe I wouldn't be here, realising how in love with you I am with no reason to be.

Stephanie

FridgeMagnet

FridgeMagnet

Chicago, IL
November 2004

MAY 26, 2005 09:04 PM

Dear Hook-up, Keyword Hook-up. Don't go gettin any ideas, k?

Love Not Love,

Fridge

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

MAY 26, 2005 09:06 PM

FreakPirate said:

Subrosa said:

Well, not all of us are Asian Canadian Sex Gods. I applied for the position and was rejected, so let's not rub it in, OK?



Well if you find out who got the job could you let me know? I'm going to stab the fucker in the head.



*cough*

StickyRice

StickyRice

Atlanta, GA
January 2003

MAY 26, 2005 09:07 PM

BlueValentine said:
....then maybe I wouldn't be here, realising how in love with you I am with no reason to be.

Stephanie



Sometimes threads turn out to be more marvelous than anyone could have expected.
smile

[edited for moronic spelling]

[Edited on Jun 01, 2005 by StickyRice]

hotcurry

hotcurry

Los Angeles, CA
June 2004

MAY 26, 2005 09:08 PM

Dear person I avoided fucking tonight,

I knew it would end badly. Maybe I'm getting old, but I could see the demise of our friendship inches away. Yeah, it might have been great sex, but come on... it would have been with me so OF COURSE it would have been great. And we both know the only thing bigger than my ego is your cock. But I can't bring myself to reduce a 10 year friendship to sweaty animalistic fucking. I might have risked it for a relationship, but not for a one night fling. So either you fess up that you enjoy watching baseball, playing poker and going out with me as much as you enjoy the action between the sheets or please don't booty call me again.

Thank you. That is all.

Hotcurry

FreakPirate

FreakPirate

Canada
November 2002

MAY 26, 2005 09:08 PM

Touche...

Alright. I thought of one.

Dear Person I Fucked Badly,

In my defence, we were both really drunk. You just lay there so that really didn't help. But mostly god damn was I drunk.

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

MAY 26, 2005 09:09 PM

BlueValentine said:
Dear Person I Fucked Badly,
(Beautiful, and completely unexpectedly heartfelt and soul-bearing post)
Stephanie



You make me happy.

PatrickY

PatrickY

Vancouver, WA
December 2003

MAY 26, 2005 09:09 PM

Rock!


Dear person who I fucked badly;

I should have tried harder. Really, I should have. But it was late, and we were tired, and I was young and overconfident.

And we both said it was good, but it so completely wasn't, and we both knew it. And I was completely to blame, like the male skater that tosses his partner too far in mixed pairs, so that she falls down right in front of the judge.

Yes, I agree the sex was as awkward as my metaphor. But it's usually so much better - not that you'd ever come back around to find out.

MistakesMade

MistakesMade

USA
February 2004

MAY 26, 2005 09:09 PM

Dear every drunken one night stand ever,

Sorry for just laying there.

Love,
MistakesMade (in Bed)

Ethan

Ethan

Austin, TX
June 2003

MAY 26, 2005 09:14 PM

Near .... Far .... Where Everrr You Are .....

- edited for poor embed code, not lack of sentiment =

[Edited on May 26, 2005 by Ethan]

mamet

mamet

Charleston, SC
March 2005

MAY 26, 2005 09:15 PM

BlueValentine said:
Stephanie



Wow...that nearly brought me to tears.

MistakesMade

MistakesMade

USA
February 2004

MAY 26, 2005 09:15 PM

P.S. Dear drunken one night stands,

Being drunk is no excuse for not being able to keep it up k thanks.

Love,
MistakesMade

TheSeadog

TheSeadog

Reunion
September 2004

MAY 26, 2005 09:18 PM

Dear One Night Stand,

I'm sorry for mistaking your look of confusion for one of pleasure.

Drunkenly,
Steve

FridgeMagnet

FridgeMagnet

Chicago, IL
November 2004

MAY 26, 2005 09:24 PM

Dear Person I Fucked Badly,

Sorry, I had whiskey dick, what do you want?

Love,

Drunky McGlugGlug

Arrus

Arrus

Olathe, KS
March 2005

MAY 26, 2005 09:29 PM

Dear boss's daughter, I apologize because if your parents and mine weren't sleeping less than fifteen feet away, I might not have been so poor in the sack. However with me being concerned with getting caught and getting fired yeah ... well I apologize. smile

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