Funniest Moments During Sex

I was having sex with my boyfriend and one of the dogs of the people that I was housesitting for jumped up on the bed. We didn't think anything of it because usually they just lay down and are pretty calm. He settles down and we keep going and we're getting really into it when all of a sudden Danny shrieks and jumps back off the bed.

I'm wondering why the hell he stopped when I just happen to see Bolts on the corner of the bed licking his chops.

"HE LICKED MY ASS!"

I don't think I've ever laughed harder in my entire life

I'm very open with everyone so ofcourse I go home and tell my mom and my aunt. Whenever I talk about him they ask "how's the heinlicker?"

That night we went over to his friends house and I just kept busting out laughing. He kept glaring at me because he made me swear not to tell his friends and they wanted to know so bad why I was laughing hysterically.

Got a nice blowjob tonight, but right after she's laughing.

Me, weak in the knees, out of breath, and barely able to move ask...

What's so funny?

Her: Up my nose!

As some one that has spent quite a large amount of time around those involved with Disney entertainment people, this doesn't surprise me in the least. That being said, some of the wildest times I've had in my life were with Universal employees......

buckle up kids....


1) summer of 99. i ended up taking this girl home on a sunday night, back when 120 minutes was still on mtv. we were watching the show, and one thing lead to another, and the fucking commenced. we were doing doggy, and it was getting real fucking boring, when all of the sudden the bad brains video for "banned in dc" came on 120 minutes. it was the only time i had ever seen the video, and i was four thousand times more siked on the video than the boring sex. however, i didnt want to piss off my partner by quitting to watch a bad brains video. so, i watched the video while fucking doggy, and proceeded to "floorpunch" and "pick up change" while fucking (if you dont know what either of those are, ask your local core kid). she never had any idea.

2) summer of 01. i was basically floating from couch to couch in orange county, and at the time i was staying with my friend nick. my friends and i, all being the scumbags we are/were, had all seen each other fucking, so me bringing a girl over to fuck on the futon was no big deal. so the girl im into comes over, and nick gets in the shower. we immediately start fucking, and its getting a little out of hand. the girls head keeps hitting the wall from time to time, right where nick had hung a coldplay promo poster. nick yells from the shower "hey! easy on the fucking posters god damnit!", but we pay him no mind. we keep going at it, and nick gets out of the shower. nick runs from the bathroom in a towel, and leaps on top of me while im inside of the girl. nick starts dry humping my ass through his towel going "YEAH! INDIRECT SEX! WAY BETTER THAN THE REAL THING!" we all laugh, and eventually nick goes back in the bathroom and we finish up.

3) heres a story that i just missed by five minutes. i wasnt there when it happened, but i was there for the near aftermath. two of my friends were hanging out with a rather "progressively" sexual girl. she was blowing them both at the same time. friend a decides it would be a great idea if both he and friend b came on the girls face at the same time. friend b agrees. however, there was a problem. friend a was ready to pop, while friend b still had a little fight left in him. friend a says "on the count of three!" and as friend b tries to say "no dude, im not there yet..." friend a goes "ONE! TWO! THREE!" and i guess sort of convulsed as he came, missing the girls face, and getting it all over friend bs forearm.

someone should make a book like this full of funniest moments during sex. from a guy who rarely smiles and is on anti-depressants this brings a big smile and some laughter to my dull life. hurray!

I was staying with my ex-girlfriend in Darwin and one afternoon we decided to breakout the handcuffs. This time I was the one who was cuffed to the bed and at the most inopportune moment, her house-mate's 10 year old son busted into our room. My girl was in so much of a hurry to grab a sheet to cover her nakedness that I was left spread-eagled and exposed.

Difficult thing to explain to a 10 year old. The funniest part had to be when the kid ran out screaming to his mum saying 'Ew, they're sexing'.