Things you hate about porn

Bill Hicks got it right:

BOBBING HAIRY MAN-ASS.


Oh, and fake = bad. No makeup, no editing, no acting. Real sex. Real orgasms.
That's what I like.

1. Snowballing


2. During a threesome when one girl is getting fucked in the ass and then the dude pulls his cock out and sticks it in the other girls mouth.


3. Also, really weak money shots.

I want that to be the new official spelling.

YEEAH! YEEAH! YEEAH! You like that? YEEAH!
Yup i hate YEEAHS. I also hate fake tittys they are all ripply and gah

lol sorry its how i write it in french, i dont know why i didnt just wrote balls

i hate when the girls say or yell ridiculous things... like, this one porn i saw where this guy was saying, "i like fucking you" and the girl started yelling, "i'm fucking you back, bitch"... W. T. F?

and this other porn, where the girl was smiling like the fuckin mad hatter and she started screaming, "WHOOO!!!" like she was on some god damn theme park ride. it made me feel weird, then laugh... then cry. just kidding about the crying. but i can't watch it anymore cuz i know what's coming.

get it?... coming??... nevermind.

Let's not forget
"FUCK MY PUSSY! FUCK MY PUSSY!"

That would've made me laugh

Also: maybe this is just a MM thing (I know that's not everyone's thing) but the overly steroidal yell that sounds link some just drove a nail filled board into a guy's balls

Fake boobs, fake orgasms, desensitised pornstars who need extreme sex to get off properly, and the premise that being a douche gets you teh pussae

No worries! I often have the same kind of problem with words that are similar but not quite the same in English and my mother tongue.

When girls choke, gag, and make horrible faces when they swallow, then try to go "Mmmm". If they're going to do that, I'd just as soon have them not even try.

Somewhat along the same lines, but when a chick is about to get a facial and you can tell she really doesn't like that kind of thing.

Like shes clamping her eyes and mouth shut and when the guy cums she scrunches up her face and tries turning her head.

If the girl doesn't like facials then just shoot on her ass or tits and be done with it. Seeing a girl take a load in the face when it's clear she's not into it is a turn-off.

Worst one I saw was on cumfiesta.com where some cute blonde girl gets a load in the face from her very much in need of manscaping boyfriend and then cries afterwards. Talk about killing the scene that was already made bad by having a Wookie screwing the girl...

i did laugh... but i couldn't do my business afterward. too awkward. i still laugh about it. i even said it once we my boyfriend and i were going at it. NOT a good idea. we had a good laugh, but it seriously kills the mood! lol awful idea on my part.

Those long, fake nails.
Especially when fingering is involved.
That just seems... uncomfortable.
Just sayin'.

i second that. *shudder*

When they show too much dude in a straight scene.

so many things...like when the girl eats the cum off her 'gina.

the worst is fake orgasms & close ups.

I hate when it starts out with the camera man interviewing the girl. The dialogue is usually really stupid. Then some guy comes out of nowhere and shoves his dick in her face. It's so annoying.
I hate porn dialogue in general.
I hate when the guy gets his dick sucked and choked on, but he doesn't return the favor by eating the girl out.
I hate blowjob scenes in general, especially when they're in the very beginning and more when they're the main focus. I don't want to see a girl sucking dick for ten minutes.
I hate when girls look into the camera during it, trying to be sexy and seductive. It's not.
I hate girls who try to talk dirty for the same reason.
Like others have mentioned, I also hate the closeup shots of the guy's ass and balls, but at the same time I really dislike POV porn.
I hate it when a guy jizzes on the girl's face when she obviously doesn't like it. The whole reaction of just cringing and turning away from it is a huge turnoff and annoyance.
I hate it when the guy does ass to mouth.
I hate cheesy ass reality scenes. I don't want the dialogue to be shitty. I don't want the outfits to look like they were made for porn. I want the scene to actually seem plausible. I don't think that's too much to ask.
I hate painfully obvious fake orgasms and moans. The same goes for girls not getting the chance to orgasm at all. I think I've only seen a legitimate orgasm from the girl twice, and both occasions turned me on to no end.

I think I'll stop for now.
I didn't realize how much I hated porn until I typed all that up.
There's gotta be a good one out there somewhere. D:

I hate: scatology, extreme violence, people acting like machines, and fake orgasms.
I like: almost untamed girl's orgasms, nice eyes and bodies in elegant movements, naughty commitment., energy, hungry mouths, hungriness all over her body....
All those "features"....in fact the "I lke" are much more in real than in porn....

I really really really wish guys in all porn would just SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Nothing that has ever come out of any of their mouths has ever helped me to get off. And this is coming from someone who loves most men's voices.

When porn have to many lesbian scene and i dont like to much couples in one scene

I prefer amature porn. because I know that it's a real life couple who is honest to god enjoying what they are doing. hell, they could even go ass to mouth in those and still I would think it's hot, because I know I am watching REAL sex with REAL people and REAL orgasms.

Everything else I just can't take seriously. I constantly think about how much the actors get paid, what they are thinking about while acting, if they are even in the least bit turned on by the person they are acting out sex with.. it just seems like one big scene out of "zak and miri make a porno". I just can't get over the fakeness of it all.

and the most bothersome thing for me:
when the women is really over-the-top-overkill-obvious about faking her enjoyment. Moaning and screaming so loud you could think she is having a seizure. and screaming silly things like : "fuck me daddy! fuck me harder!"
...it makes me cringe on the inside and feel ashamed for the female race.
I really hope that when porn falls into the hands of 14 year old kids, they don't think sex is really that weird.