Sex Talk

TOPICS:

3/10/05

Bukkake or watersports? [3]

3/9/05

Ass sex with asiam boys. [3]

mydeconstruction

3/9/05

A Brief History Of Pac-Man

3/9/05

a foreign Hot Celebrities thread?

3/9/05

amazing Dr. Ruth letter/gag

3/9/05

Ladies with the belly [5]

3/9/05

feeling lonesmoe tonight [2]

3/9/05

Blue Balls: What Do the Ladies Believe?? [2]

3/9/05

Have you had your sex today? [14]

3/9/05

What is your favourite part of the body? [3]

3/8/05

look what I found [2]

3/8/05

kidnap me for £500 a piece... [4]

3/8/05

Your Favorite Porn... [2]

3/7/05

Wishing you were noticed on the hot member thread? [12]

3/7/05

fountainofdreams

3/7/05

long necks and head

3/7/05

how to deal with shy girls? [4]

3/7/05

Straight guys who love the taste of cum? [6]

beautiful_bruise

3/7/05

when SGs masturbate.......... [8]

3/7/05

How far would you go to find a love glove? [3]

fountainofdreams

3/7/05

3/6/05

Going to the strip club alone? [4]

3/6/05

3/6/05

question for the ladies [2]

3/6/05

your stance on pee pee porn + pee pee as afrodesiac [4]

3/6/05

3/5/05

oral sex and pop rocks [3]

3/5/05

Lesbian smut... [2]

3/5/05

cawk-rings!!!! [2]

3/5/05

Pull yer head out of your ass!

3/4/05

I will kiss you on the cheek or give you a big hug [3]

SomethingStupid

3/4/05

3/4/05

I WILL HAVE SEX WITH YOUR FACE!@$&#@&(@ [2]

3/4/05

Over Masturbation [2]

3/4/05

3/4/05

OFFICIAL ANTI-FreakPirate THREAD [4]

3/4/05

vasectomy cum question [3]

3/3/05

A man touched me in bad place today. [3]

3/3/05

What do you think about during sex? [5]

3/2/05

Worst *UNINTENTIONAL insult. [3]

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How far would you go to find a love glove?

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FrankMask

Saint Paul, MN

June 2003

MAR 02, 2005 11:16 PM

It's 2 A.M. and raining hard. Angelina Jolie/Aphrodite/Johnny Depp/Adonis just showed up demanding a change of clothes and passionate lovemaking. Just one problem, You're out of condoms/dental dams, and the nearest convenience store that's open at this time of night is in Alaska. What are you going to do?

[Edited on Mar 03, 2005 by Frank]

Keith

Oklahoma City, OK

August 2002

MAR 02, 2005 11:18 PM

I'm married, so I guess we'll fire up a joint and the gamecube.

pixen

HOPEFUL

Australia

MAR 02, 2005 11:23 PM

Kill the cat and make one out of its spleen.

Keith

Oklahoma City, OK

August 2002

MAR 02, 2005 11:25 PM

zenFish

Vancouver, BC

August 2004

MAR 02, 2005 11:28 PM

pixen said:
Kill the cat and make one out of its spleen.

That's hardcore, right?

Or just disturbing?

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA

July 2004

MAR 02, 2005 11:31 PM

I would raid my roommate's room in search of one, and then blame it on Angelina later.

Erica

SUICIDEGIRL

I'm lost

MAR 02, 2005 11:31 PM

BUT THE GLOVE DOES NOT FIT! I AM NOT GUILTY!

PullOffMyWings

HOPEFUL

Mission Viejo, CA

MAR 02, 2005 11:36 PM

dude, I would have all of their babies, so it doesn't matter

JoshXXX

Northborough, MA

March 2004

MAR 02, 2005 11:36 PM

I would slam the door. I don't want to have sex with Johnny Depp.

lil_tuffy

MODERATOR

San Francisco, CA

MAR 02, 2005 11:36 PM

I'd kill time on the internet.

MrMuller

Detroit, MI

March 2004

MAR 02, 2005 11:37 PM

If Angelina Jolie showed up making demands like that, I'm not so sure a "love glove" would be topping my list of priorities. However, if she had to have some such thing, cellophane is an easy sub. Or if that's not allowed, I would most certainly go out and silence a lamb, skin it, then beat and stretch the skin to fashion a rudimentary condom. Now I may not know how to do that, but I assure you, I'll learn really quick. My next problem is finding a lamb in D-town.

Edit: Oh and incidentally, I'm totally straight, but as Jay and Silent Bob would say, Johnny Depp is one of the guys I'd go gay for.

[Edited on Mar 02, 2005 by MrMuller]

meaney

Chicago, IL

September 2003

MAR 02, 2005 11:38 PM

dive in without a suit.

mk700c

Ann Arbor, MI

December 2003

MAR 02, 2005 11:40 PM

I really thought this was going to be an entertaining story about someone who lost a glove at a bar and went through some Adventures in Babysitting type quest to retrieve it, complete with strange encounters at a bus station and perhaps a Moscow subway station and a foreigh dignitary ...

... but alas, it was just stupid crap.

Cassiel

Aurora, CO

September 2004

MAR 02, 2005 11:45 PM

pixen said:
Kill the cat and make one out of its spleen.

I like your thinking.

TAFKASP

Oakland, CA

June 2003

MAR 02, 2005 11:47 PM

Can I borrow a feeling, Could you lend me a jar of love.
Hurtin hearts need some healin'.
Take my hand with your glove of love.
-- by Kirk Van Houten

Keith

Oklahoma City, OK

August 2002

MAR 02, 2005 11:48 PM

Actually, now that I think about it, Johnny Depp is one of the people my wife is hypothetically allowed to have sex with, so I guess I'll be skinning the ferrets. Or the rat, depending on his endowment.

JoshXXX

Northborough, MA

March 2004

MAR 02, 2005 11:56 PM

mk700c said:
I really thought this was going to be an entertaining story about someone who lost a glove at a bar and went through some Adventures in Babysitting type quest to retrieve it, complete with strange encounters at a bus station and perhaps a Moscow subway station and a foreigh dignitary ...

... but alas, it was just stupid crap.

Don't fuck with the babysitter.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

handle

I'm lost

July 2003

MAR 03, 2005 12:06 AM

Imagine the publicity you would get if you caught something from a freak sexual encounter with such a celebrity. You could live the rest of your little prescription filled life on the interview and T.V. movie rights money. I say go for it as is. Way more personal then a crappy autograph.

burstandbloom

New Orleans, LA

February 2004

MAR 03, 2005 12:12 AM

xatreyux

Mountlake Terrace, WA

March 2003

MAR 03, 2005 12:30 AM

hate my life...haha j/k

Al

SUICIDEGIRL

Christmas Island

MAR 03, 2005 04:29 PM

MrMuller said:
If Angelina Jolie showed up making demands like that, I'm not so sure a "love glove" would be topping my list of priorities. However, if she had to have some such thing, cellophane is an easy sub. Or if that's not allowed, I would most certainly go out and silence a lamb, skin it, then beat and stretch the skin to fashion a rudimentary condom. Now I may not know how to do that, but I assure you, I'll learn really quick. My next problem is finding a lamb in D-town.

Edit: Oh and incidentally, I'm totally straight, but as Jay and Silent Bob would say, Johnny Depp is one of the guys I'd go gay for.

[Edited on Mar 02, 2005 by MrMuller]

You do realize lambskin condoms aren't actually made from a lamb's skin, right?

mk700c

Ann Arbor, MI

December 2003

MAR 03, 2005 04:43 PM

Al said:

You do realize lambskin condoms aren't actually made from a lamb's skin, right?

They're actually made of baby scrotum.

schoolgirl

Christmas Island

May 2003

MAR 03, 2005 04:50 PM

I'd be like "damnit Johnny! I'm not a piece of meat." and make him feel all guilty and marry me. and then I'd give him the new clothes.

MrMuller

Detroit, MI

March 2004

MAR 03, 2005 05:18 PM

Al said:

MrMuller said:
If Angelina Jolie showed up making demands like that, I'm not so sure a "love glove" would be topping my list of priorities. However, if she had to have some such thing, cellophane is an easy sub. Or if that's not allowed, I would most certainly go out and silence a lamb, skin it, then beat and stretch the skin to fashion a rudimentary condom. Now I may not know how to do that, but I assure you, I'll learn really quick. My next problem is finding a lamb in D-town.

Edit: Oh and incidentally, I'm totally straight, but as Jay and Silent Bob would say, Johnny Depp is one of the guys I'd go gay for.

[Edited on Mar 02, 2005 by MrMuller]

You do realize lambskin condoms aren't actually made from a lamb's skin, right?

Of course, but the intestine thing had already been used, so I had to come up with something more ridiculous and elaborate. What was I going to say, "I'd go out, rip a lambs cecum out and wear that"? Well, I guess that works too.

Edit: I wouldn't actually rib the condom, she can fuck-off.

[Edited on Mar 03, 2005 by MrMuller]

Drago

Philadelphia, PA

January 2004

MAR 03, 2005 05:23 PM

I'd go raw for Angelina Jolie

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