I had phonesex with this girl last night...

... and I felt totally stupid doing it. What a whore I am.

Another awkward call home?

I use to have phone sex all the time.

Then came the unfortunate accident in which I got the receiver stuck...

Good luck explaining the bill for 1 900 FUN BAGS to your parents.

The worst is when you are trying to be sexy and kinda whispery, and the other person can't hear you.

"What?"

"I SAID 'I'M LICKING YOUR ASS!'"

True dat,true dat

LOL

Anytime I get involved in phonesex that isn't just listening to each other masturbate it always turns into a competiton.

"I'm standing on my head and pleasuring myself with a bunch of cilantro."
"Oh yeah? Well I'm calling in the six fingered midget!"

I've only done it once. But it very hot indeed.

phone sex....

wtf

ahahahaha

thats golden , i have to write it down.

It's true. Phone sex makes you feel silly. However, I did once pretend I was a large black man during actually sex, so I guess everyone has there something.

It's funny because it's true...and it makes you think.

What?

Exactly

Agreed. I've done lots of things that made me feel silly in FRONT of the person I was with. Doing it with them on the phone makes it less embarassing for me.

(not that I can't be embarrassed and turned on at the same time...)

Heh heh... SOOOO true!


I have phone sex on a regular basis since my boyfriend currently lives in a different country! It's so fucking hot, but then he is very good at it!

done it a couple of times but it seems that I really suck at it, so here are some directions (stolen from SAYA)

How to have successful phone sex:

1. You GOT TO be in the mood. Don’t just play along to get someone else off.

2. Have the right attitude. Don’t be shy or scared to squeal. At least the other person won’t be seeing your fucked up orgasm face.

3. Lock your door and make sure the line is secure. Nothing like a threesome when you’re not expecting it. Especially with your mom.

4. Start slow. Boys, don’t rush us. Even though it’s just dirty talk, you gotta warm things up.

5. Don’t ask for cheesy things. Like “put the phone down there.” That’s like asking to talk to your dog on the phone. You’re not going to hear anything hot, and it just makes both of you feel like idiots. Not sexy. It’s all about the sexy.

6. Don’t spring any surprises. It might be easier because you don’t have to look the other person in the eyes, but you can’t just bust out with “and now I’m taking a massive crap on your stomach,” unless you’ve discussed it beforehand.

7. That brings us to another issue. The tense. I think it’s weird to act like you’re there together, physically. Like “ok, now I’m sliding the tip in…” Stick to describing your physical state “I’m so wet right now,” or what you’re doing to yourself “I’m pulling my panties off and sliding my hand…” OR what you want to do to the other person. “If you were here right now I would get on my knees and …”

8. Do not fake it. If you can’t give yourself an orgasm, there is just no hope for you, ever. Remember, there’s no such thing as true altruism. Don’t wuss out by saying something like “as long as you got off, that’s all that matters.” No. Get off and enjoy it. It’s phone sex!

9. After the deed is done, get off the phone. There is no such thing as phone cuddling. Phone sex is there to serve a purpose. Kind of like a bootie call, only there's less mess. Trying to talk afterwards just means that you're probably going to say something stupid.

I had phone sex with your mom last night.

Oh yeah. I went there.

I thought her conversation with "Grandma" took an odd turn...

If you have phone sex PLEASE use protection. There are too many phones in the world as it is.

Oh Thank God for the help...I was so worried.

*3 snaps in Z formation*

*Neck roll*

*pshaw*