casual sex partner, can't stay hard? damn...

I think it's kinda like communism. It's a neat theory...


The problem I've always run into and seen people run into comes in riiiiight about here: "talking to one of my male acquaintances on the matter, i told him that i was really only looking for something really loose, with good sex, and if i end up liking the guy, so be it..."

Most people I've known just end up on the receiving side of the whole "oops, s/he got attached, time to bail" situation. Then they get pissed off. And then I spend my saturday eating chips and dip and watching Love, Actually.

But that's just my opinion. I say try again. If it's not benefitting you, and the situation doesn't improve at all, break it off clean and find somebody else.

Look at your pros and cons and what it is you're looking for.

Does him being a good kisser, cute, and the fact that he goes down on you make up for the fact that you aren't getting off? If you are not looking for a relationship, but an aquaintence to have good sex with, sounds to me like this is the wrong guy.

Just ask yourself what's more important to you!!!

Sounds like nerves, compounded by, well... nerves. I often have that problem the first time I'm with someone new. Not so often the second time, but I still recommend giving him at least a third try. Once he gets comfortable the problem sholud go away. Don't feel like it's a judgment on you, cos he'll pick up on that and feel it as a judgment on him and you'll have a neat little downward spiral.

I think he's right. The first time was probably a fluke, the second time was probably because he was so nervous it would happen again. And hey, he goes down on you instead of curling up in a corner in embarrassment. He sounds like he's worth another shot.

Viagra

cockring.

Every time I was ever with someone new, the first couple of times I either couldn't get it up or had a really hard time staying up.

It's a common problem. Do him again.

PLEASE GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE. I can't stress enough how much his issues have nothing to do with you. Guys' egos are funny things and sometimes dudes will worry too much about impressing and then everything gets all limpo and it's only because they're (or he's) too nervous. Plus, if he's crotch diving to make up for it, he must be at least part good! Good luck!

Give him another try!!! Especially if he is a great kisser! That is so hot! Its nerves! Good luck to you!!!

I'm pretty much terrible with sexual encounters that I know aren't going to turn into any sort of relationship. That's why I don't do 'em anymore. Well that and I have an awesome girlfriend. Anyways, he might have an anti-fear of commitment like me where the thought of casual sex is kind of a turn-off, whereas he still has the normal human desire to have sex as much as possible. Or he could be just nervous like they said.

think about how much better it will be when it does go the way it is supposed to

we have a little saying in chinatown--patience gwasshoppa

if it turns into 10-15 times then maybe he should see a urologist otherwise i am sure it will be fine with time

Re-assure him, just think of what he's going through. Maybe just kiss and cuddle without the full on thang, then build up to it after a week or so. Maybe he's under stress or is worried about his performance, talk to him though, ask him if he's worried about anything. If he's a nice guy things will work out.

Good luck to you both!

He goes down on you and you still don't get off?


That's the issue I'd be most concerned about. Sounds like he needs lessons.

This makes baby Jesus cry.

Is it???

I wouldn't ever be able to face a man again who couldn't keep it up or cum with me... I'd feel like I wasn't woman enough to turn him on. It may be wrong but that's how I would feel about it no matter what he said.

It is a common problem, and probably nothing personal. If he can put a smile on your face in other ways and you're happy with that then why not?

It can take a few encounters to get properly warmed up to someone new...by the way is he boozing or smoking the pot a lot?

Buttsex. Then when he starts to noodle out you'll be relieved instead of disappointed.

i think you have to realize that this might put him in a weird situation.

maybe he is not used to having sex with a girl who he isn't in love with. or one that he plans to do it with who he has to say "that he is man enough to do it." this puts a lot of pressure on him. and let him work beyond it and try and make it a relaxing situation for him.

and no, it's not you.

Then it doesn't sound like he's "making up for his short-comings". It sounds like he listened to you complain, wanted to have sex with you, used you in a vulnerable state, and then couldn't step up to the plate.

First of all, it is definitely not you, you really f'n hot. Second, give him a chance, another time or two. Maybe he is just uncomfortable with the situation and this is why he can't get up. Has it happened to him before and/or have you discussed it.