Worst *UNINTENTIONAL insult.

Awww this one made me laugh and be sad all at once. I'm only 4'11 I got a lot of. "hey. Your almost a midget." and I always wear heals so when I take them off or wear sneaker I get "Oh WOW! you really are short." Thanks a lot

BWAHAHA, jesus.

You know, this whole thread is making me actually laugh out loud. Please don't stop!

Ya, she took MAJOR offense to that one. probably still somehow in the doghouse for it.

Nothing wrong with short women, nothing at all.

a guy walked into my old restaurant with one of those t-shirts with an arrow pointing up saying "The man" and an arrow pointing down saying 'the legend'. Apparently, I wasn't saying it in my head like I thought I was, and I laughed and said "whwtever" as I walked up to the counter to serve him. His buddies all laughed hysterically and he stormed out. Oops....lost that customers business.....

LOL
Good one. Any guy that wears a shirt like that is asking for it anyway! He's gotta either be a huge prick, have a huge prick, or else have a great sense of humor about himself. Apparently in this case it was the first one.


Oh yeah, on the topic of short women... this wasn't exactly unintentional but still funny. A co-worker of mine was under 5', and was kinda sensitive about her height. A guy that worked there asked her if she ever "went UP on somebody".

When we were kids my little sister was looking intently at me one day and said "Wow! Your nosrils are so big I could stick jelly-beans up them!" She didn't mean anything by it, and was just genuinely excited that she could shove something up a nostril, but I was mortified becuase I hadn't really grown into my nose yet and was very self-concious about it...

She never forgot about that one and still laughs about it.

The rest of my head finally caught up with my nose, so now I think it's pretty funny too...

I'm_in_tears!

that's ok, may dad likes to call me a bastard, which has always preplexed me.

When I was a teenager, my mom once told me "You'd do so great in one of those countries where women cover everything but their eyes!"

She was apparently trying to say she thought I had pretty eyes.

That one made me laugh out loud for a while.

Once I said "can i help you sir" to a woman, and in the same day over the phone said "Ma'am, I will get a supervisor on the phone for you right away" and heard "I'M A MAN!"

A few days later, I overheard a lady ask a girl I work with (who is very skinny except for a big bulgy belly) "Oh hon, when are you due?"....and my co-worker was completely OBLIVIOUS.

I did the whole go over a friends house, pick up a photo and was like
"Damn you didn't say you had a brother. He's must have got all the shit genes from your parents."
The noticed he had man-boobs and pissed myself laughing.
"Dude your brother has man boobs."
She took the photo back from my hand.
"Firstly, That's my Sister."
"Secondly she's standing behind you."

I've never been there since.

I did that in boot camp once. NOT the place you wanna do it. A TI jumped on my case about something and my gut reaction was to just say "No Sir". Didn't even think about it.. Well it extended te verbal beating by a couple minutes.

ahhhh that is ...

One time i was making fun of that song by destiny's child.."say my name" or what ever it is called..and he chose that time to imitate "american Pie" and followed it up with bitch..
so..

me: Say my name.
him: Bitch

one time in bed this girl I was dating asked "you like it rough don't you?" jokingly I said..."I like it anyway I can get it"


She didn't appreciate my humor. fast foreword 2 months....bed again....knock on the door and........it was her bf who had been stationed in afghanistan my roomate had let him in....wow...didn't know she had one...wish she would have told me...very awkward moment indeed.

me engrish not so gooood sometimes. lol

so naturally i mistakenly say some odd things.

when i mean to say "Wow, she sure is tall!"

i sometimes say "Wow, she sure is big!"

then get mad glares and have to explain that by big, i ment tall.

HA!!

doctor faustus. vintage dress. flapper hair. the elusive second chance.

ugh. the empathy and sense of loss is too great, i feel your sad tale as if it were my own.

what you should have said is "OMG YOU LOOK ALMOST AS PRETTY AS THE GIRLS ON THE INTERNET!!!!"

it's been a favorite pick-up line of mine these many minutes.

Just recently I had sex with someone. Not a few minutes after we were done, she was eyeballing some beefy guy on tv, and said:

"Yeah, see. He's good-looking, but I don't care. I've never really liked good-looking guys..."



I know what she meant, but still...damn...

My keyholder, Ernie, is an arrogant bastard. Not a bad guy, but he does have a nice big asshole streak. He also has a HOT gf, Candance. His best friend is our stock guy, Dan, he suffers from nice-guy-itis. Well we were talking with a couple other co-workers about relationships and such when Ernie brings up the fact that he's an asshople and tells Candance this, but she doesn't believe him. I take this moment to say, "That proves it, girls like asssholes. If Candance wanted a nice guy she'd be with Dan." I didn't realize how bad it sounded until he shot me the dirtiest look and everyone laughed at him.