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3/7/05

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alicat0162

alicat0162

Hyannis, MA
January 2005

FEB 24, 2005 08:28 PM

minibeanie said:
"If you were a couple inches taller I could marry you" frown


Awww this one made me laugh and be sad all at once. I'm only 4'11 I got a lot of. "hey. Your almost a midget." and I always wear heals so when I take them off or wear sneaker I get "Oh WOW! you really are short." Thanks a lot miao!!

swingkitten

swingkitten

Portland, OR
OLD SKOOL

FEB 25, 2005 10:52 AM

Ella_1 said:
The boy has thise weird stomach problem that makes him dry retch all the time.
Anyway, we were going to some fancy event thing and I asked if I looked ok.

He dry retched....

frown

did the same thing the first time I told him I loved him as well frown frown



BWAHAHA, jesus.

You know, this whole thread is making me actually laugh out loud. Please don't stop!

zenFish

zenFish

Vancouver, BC
August 2004

FEB 25, 2005 10:56 AM

emilyrocks said:

zenFish said:
At some point watching tv, with a good friend, these words popped out.

"So is that going to be you in a few years."

It was in reference to her having a ton of cat's, and being terminally single.

Yah, I still feel like a dick about that one.




one of my friend's told me i was going to be a cat lady someday. i wasn't pleased at the time, but now i have every intention of being a cat lady someday. i have big plans for my old age.



Ya, she took MAJOR offense to that one. probably still somehow in the doghouse for it.

zenFish

zenFish

Vancouver, BC
August 2004

FEB 25, 2005 10:57 AM

alicat0162 said:

minibeanie said:
"If you were a couple inches taller I could marry you" frown


Awww this one made me laugh and be sad all at once. I'm only 4'11 I got a lot of. "hey. Your almost a midget." and I always wear heals so when I take them off or wear sneaker I get "Oh WOW! you really are short." Thanks a lot miao!!



Nothing wrong with short women, nothing at all.

katblue

katblue

Canada
January 2005

FEB 26, 2005 08:59 PM

a guy walked into my old restaurant with one of those t-shirts with an arrow pointing up saying "The man" and an arrow pointing down saying 'the legend'. Apparently, I wasn't saying it in my head like I thought I was, and I laughed and said "whwtever" as I walked up to the counter to serve him. His buddies all laughed hysterically and he stormed out. Oops....lost that customers business.....

TheLastBoss

TheLastBoss

Woodbury, NJ
May 2004

FEB 27, 2005 06:55 PM

katblue said:
a guy walked into my old restaurant with one of those t-shirts with an arrow pointing up saying "The man" and an arrow pointing down saying 'the legend'. Apparently, I wasn't saying it in my head like I thought I was, and I laughed and said "whwtever" as I walked up to the counter to serve him. His buddies all laughed hysterically and he stormed out. Oops....lost that customers business.....



LOL
Good one. Any guy that wears a shirt like that is asking for it anyway! He's gotta either be a huge prick, have a huge prick, or else have a great sense of humor about himself. Apparently in this case it was the first one.


Oh yeah, on the topic of short women... this wasn't exactly unintentional but still funny. A co-worker of mine was under 5', and was kinda sensitive about her height. A guy that worked there asked her if she ever "went UP on somebody".

Meeks

Meeks

Canada
November 2004

FEB 27, 2005 10:31 PM

When we were kids my little sister was looking intently at me one day and said "Wow! Your nosrils are so big I could stick jelly-beans up them!" She didn't mean anything by it, and was just genuinely excited that she could shove something up a nostril, but I was mortified becuase I hadn't really grown into my nose yet and was very self-concious about it...

She never forgot about that one and still laughs about it.

The rest of my head finally caught up with my nose, so now I think it's pretty funny too...

Koleeta

Koleeta

Los Angeles, CA
May 2003

FEB 27, 2005 10:39 PM

Zork said:

From the same woman, another time:
"I like making love by candlelight, because there's enough light to see what we're doing, but I can't see you too clearly."




I'm_in_tears!

undeserving

undeserving

Newnan, GA
October 2004

FEB 27, 2005 10:50 PM

somethin1919 said:
Once I said some smart ass remark to my mom and she called me a son of a bitch. I think that's funny.



that's ok, may dad likes to call me a bastard, which has always preplexed me.

Shal

Shal

Los Angeles, CA
October 2002

FEB 27, 2005 10:56 PM

When I was a teenager, my mom once told me "You'd do so great in one of those countries where women cover everything but their eyes!"

She was apparently trying to say she thought I had pretty eyes.

Calypso

Calypso

SUICIDEGIRL

California, USA

FEB 27, 2005 11:01 PM

I don't recall ever doing anything of the sort...

However, my significant other did just yesterday. I asked him if he liked my set. He said, "It was good."

mad

phraktyl

phraktyl

Orange, CA
August 2004

FEB 27, 2005 11:19 PM

TheBestNameEver said:
Oh yeah, on the topic of short women... this wasn't exactly unintentional but still funny. A co-worker of mine was under 5', and was kinda sensitive about her height. A guy that worked there asked her if she ever "went UP on somebody".



That one made me laugh out loud for a while. biggrin

Dollbabyamy

Dollbabyamy

Lebanon, TN
March 2004

FEB 28, 2005 12:09 AM

Once I said "can i help you sir" to a woman, and in the same day over the phone said "Ma'am, I will get a supervisor on the phone for you right away" and heard "I'M A MAN!"

A few days later, I overheard a lady ask a girl I work with (who is very skinny except for a big bulgy belly) "Oh hon, when are you due?"....and my co-worker was completely OBLIVIOUS.

Neko

Neko

SUICIDEGIRL

Afghanistan

FEB 28, 2005 12:31 AM

"you're not that fat"

highresolution

highresolution

I'm lost
February 2005

FEB 28, 2005 12:58 AM

I did the whole go over a friends house, pick up a photo and was like
"Damn you didn't say you had a brother. He's must have got all the shit genes from your parents."
The noticed he had man-boobs and pissed myself laughing.
"Dude your brother has man boobs."
She took the photo back from my hand.
"Firstly, That's my Sister."
"Secondly she's standing behind you."

I've never been there since.
blush

tarlynxeno

tarlynxeno

Schenectady, NY
October 2003

FEB 28, 2005 05:38 AM

TheBestNameEver said:
Excuse me sir- I mean, ma'am... blackeyed



I did that in boot camp once. NOT the place you wanna do it. A TI jumped on my case about something and my gut reaction was to just say "No Sir". Didn't even think about it.. Well it extended te verbal beating by a couple minutes.

Siv

Siv

SUICIDEGIRL

District Of Columbia, USA

FEB 28, 2005 06:42 AM

My mom does this a lot to me.

I can't think of specific examples. I block them out.

sakita

sakita

Sweden
February 2003

FEB 28, 2005 07:23 AM

Ella_1 said:
The boy has thise weird stomach problem that makes him dry retch all the time.
Anyway, we were going to some fancy event thing and I asked if I looked ok.

He dry retched....

frown

did the same thing the first time I told him I loved him as well frown frown




ahhhh that is frown ...

One time i was making fun of that song by destiny's child.."say my name" or what ever it is called..and he chose that time to imitate "american Pie" and followed it up with bitch..
so..

me: Say my name.
him: Bitch


mad blackeyed

Hang_Em_High

Hang_Em_High

Valdosta, GA
January 2005

FEB 28, 2005 12:41 PM

one time in bed this girl I was dating asked "you like it rough don't you?" jokingly I said..."I like it anyway I can get it"


She didn't appreciate my humor. fast foreword 2 months....bed again....knock on the door and........it was her bf who had been stationed in afghanistan my roomate had let him in....wow...didn't know she had one...wish she would have told me...very awkward moment indeed.

Hafu

Hafu

Charlottesville, VA
February 2005

FEB 28, 2005 01:20 PM

me engrish not so gooood sometimes. lol

so naturally i mistakenly say some odd things.

when i mean to say "Wow, she sure is tall!"

i sometimes say "Wow, she sure is big!"

then get mad glares and have to explain that by big, i ment tall.

JessicaLea

JessicaLea

Fort Worth, TX
October 2004

FEB 28, 2005 01:41 PM

KaliDoom said:

Enfant_Terrible said:
"When are you do?"

"I'm NOT pregnant!"



Fix this, please. I know, I know, homonyms are hard.


[Edited on Feb 23, 2005 by KaliDoom]


HA!!

Meeks

Meeks

Canada
November 2004

FEB 28, 2005 02:59 PM

Neko said:
"you're not that fat"


puke

thehedgehog

thehedgehog

Ann Arbor, MI
April 2004

FEB 28, 2005 03:44 PM

Western_Sky said:
This one almost got me smacked.
[Edited on Feb 22, 2005 by Western_Sky]



doctor faustus. vintage dress. flapper hair. the elusive second chance.

ugh. the empathy and sense of loss is too great, i feel your sad tale as if it were my own.

what you should have said is "OMG YOU LOOK ALMOST AS PRETTY AS THE GIRLS ON THE INTERNET!!!!"

it's been a favorite pick-up line of mine these many minutes.

plasticfangs

plasticfangs

Portland, OR
OLD SKOOL

FEB 28, 2005 04:00 PM

Just recently I had sex with someone. Not a few minutes after we were done, she was eyeballing some beefy guy on tv, and said:

"Yeah, see. He's good-looking, but I don't care. I've never really liked good-looking guys..."

eeek eeek eeek eeek frown frown frown frown

I know what she meant, but still...damn...

Pip

Pip

Framingham, MA
OLD SKOOL

MAR 02, 2005 09:20 PM

My keyholder, Ernie, is an arrogant bastard. Not a bad guy, but he does have a nice big asshole streak. He also has a HOT gf, Candance. His best friend is our stock guy, Dan, he suffers from nice-guy-itis. Well we were talking with a couple other co-workers about relationships and such when Ernie brings up the fact that he's an asshople and tells Candance this, but she doesn't believe him. I take this moment to say, "That proves it, girls like asssholes. If Candance wanted a nice guy she'd be with Dan." I didn't realize how bad it sounded until he shot me the dirtiest look and everyone laughed at him.

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