Worst *UNINTENTIONAL insult.

So, this thread got me thinking about the times that I'd said something to a girl that, as soon as it came out of my mouth, I knew I had said the wrong thing.

The most vivid memory was of running into a girl I was interested in and her friend at the mall; the friend was coming down with a cold and said, "Man, I feel like shit." I immediately blurted out "You look like shit." when what I really meant was "You look like your feeling bad."

There is no amount of explaining or apologizing that will get you out of that. Needless to say, I never got anywhere with the girl. I now know that the more you explain the more you apologize, the worse it gets, but this was back in high school. I didn’t know any better back then.

So, what is the worst (or most amusing) unintentional insult that you've doled out?

haha, that made me laugh out loud. thank you for that.

Said about a good friend of mine "No, I like her okay". Did not go over well.
Just blurted it without thinking about how it sounded.

i efinetly "l-o-l"ed at that, too!

i'm going to sleep on this one. i'm sure i've said something horrible like that, i've just gotta remember what that was, first

shit, man, i agree with the above. that's funny. i don't think i've ever said anything as stupid.

I once said this to my good friend (a girl):

"Hey Meg. [pause] You know...you look 'puffy' today."

I meant her shirt looked puffy. It was impossibe trying to explain my way out of that one.

This was said *to* me, but maybe it still counts. Spoken by my lover at the time:
"I guess your standards [for choosing partners] are a lot higher than mine."

From the same woman, another time:
"I like making love by candlelight, because there's enough light to see what we're doing, but I can't see you too clearly."

This one almost got me smacked.

I'd asked out the crush du jour to go see a community theater production of Faust - our English professor was playing Dr. Faustus, and it's not every day you get to see a Professor of yours condemned to hell.

So we meet up, and she's wearing this killer flapper-style vintage dress and looks so beautiful I open my mouth to complement her:

"Wow, Emily! You look just like an ostritch."

I'd tried to imply that she looked elegant and graceful. Too bad my brain wasn't on board with the plan. She gives me a look of death and says, "What?! Ok, I'm going to give you a chance to try that again."

Yes! A second chance! I'm rattled now, because I realize I'm being an ass and prepare to explain to her that she just looks beautiful.

"I mean...you look just like a lampshade!"

Yes - the tassles on the dress reminded me of an art deco lampshade and it's a style of which I've always been fond. So my brain lets fly and decides that that's what we should compare her to.

I wish that I were making this up. We never went out again after that night, sadly. The moral? Don't get creative with your complements on the fly in order to impress an English major . Stick with: "You look great."

[Edited on Feb 22, 2005 by Western_Sky]

This is some pretty funny stuff! I know I have said a ton of dumb shit to people but I just can't think of the specifics right now.

One of my husband's friends introduced him to a girl he was talking to at a bar. When his friend introduced her as JoJo, he said.... oh, like JoJo the dog-faced boy.
and to top it off, he laughed when he realized what he had said.

Not that I said, but was said to me.

I was joking with a few of my better looking male friends about starting a boy band, since we all can dance reasonably well and you don't really have to know how to sing, etc. etc. etc.

So one of them is like, "Yeah, and Subrosa, you'll be like the fat girl from Dream." (Except I had never heard of "Dream". Apparently the "fat girl" was the one with the talent. But I just thought he meant that I was going to be the token ugly one.)

Today, My boss suggested something, and without thinking I said, "That's Stupid!" What made it worse was that there were two other people in the room. Not good.

My friend was talking about our roomates EX, she said "Kat always dates ugly guys" then went bright red, as our roomate was part of the discussion, she covered with "but your the hotttest of the ugly people" I still laugh

The worst unintentional insult I've ever received came from my own mother. She is married to a plastic surgeon (my stepfather). I was around 16 or 17 years old and was eating breakfast one morning while watching some TV.

She walks in and looks at me, tilts her head a little and goes "You know your stepdad could fix your nose."

Gee....thanks mom.

Once I said some smart ass remark to my mom and she called me a son of a bitch. I think that's funny.

Excuse me sir- I mean, ma'am...

The boy has thise weird stomach problem that makes him dry retch all the time.
Anyway, we were going to some fancy event thing and I asked if I looked ok.

He dry retched....



did the same thing the first time I told him I loved him as well

When I was at the gym with my friend a while back, one of the male trainers came up and said, "Wow! You ladies have really good form, especially with the abdomen." We thanked him and smiled, thinking we were holding our stomachs the right way or whatever, and then he said, "You should try our class for pregnant women on Thursday nights. You'd do great!"

I thought my friend was going to hit him. I just started laughing, mostly because she was so pissed off. The look on his face was priceless.

I accidentally insult people all the time. Unfortunately, I never realize it until the next day or something, because it really never seems to me like it was something negative to say. People think otherwise.

I've also had people accidentally, or intentionally insult me, and I never took it as an insult. Which could either be good, bad, or just mindbaffling that the most rudest thing one says to me sounds fine. Or I'm just very stupid.
Or not paying attention..

At some point watching tv, with a good friend, these words popped out.

"So is that going to be you in a few years."

It was in reference to her having a ton of cat's, and being terminally single.

Yah, I still feel like a dick about that one.

I have been on both ends of that whole calling out someone else's name during sex thing.

not good. not good at all.

Ditto. Fucking brilliant. One gold star for you!