cool/weird things said to you in bed.

her:"I DIDNT PEE ON YOU!"
me:"It sure smells an awful lot like piss, and it's yellow."
her:"IT WAS YOURS!"

oh, the hilarity. poor girl. from that day on, ANY joke (from me or anyone) about ANYTHING to do with peeing, she'd turn bright red and talk about how UNfunny urine is. Guitly guilty guilty.

"Can you tell your friend to slow down please."

My ex and I got drunk and my friend came in the room right as she was about to climax.....

He jumped on the bed (COVERS WERE OVER US) And grabbed my hips and kinda fucked her with my body.

It was the wierdest thing ever! She was so close she didnt want to stop. 10 seconds later it was over and he was lying on the floor with a black eye.

I didnt know how else to feel, so I did what I thought should be done.

Hey, technically he fucked my girl right!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

that story is amazing

'fist me like a four year old'
'wear me like a slutpuppet'

"Make me bark like a dog" and she actually started making barking sounds.

There was this girl that cried everytime we had sex and one night I asked her why, she said "everytime i look at you, it breaks my heart"

I was having sex with my girlfriend one night and wound up saying her best friend's name right as I came

I had a lesbian tell me I eat pussy like a dyke, which I took as a compliment

"you remind me of my brother"

HER: "i wish my mom was here to see us do that"
Another time another girl right as we got started: "wait i have to pull something out of there first"

Me after cumming in her twice the night before: "Let me put a rubber on i dont want to be a dad"

I didn't even know I wanted that, but damnit you're on to something!

"I think you're in the wrong house"

I just remembered this, there was a girl who said

"fuck me like a bunny and a dog at the same time".

I said "what" and she explained that she wanted it fast, like a bunny, and because it was anal sex, she wanted it doggy style too. She was crazy

Ohhh, Amy...

AMY?
Did you just call ME Amy?
Who in the fuck is Amy?
MY name is Lisa!!!
Good one, Scarredangel...next time, make sure you know her name, before you say it!...Just a tiny word of advice for ya!
Hehe...

It was Hi Amy when we woke up the next day. You make this story worse and worse every time you tell it. Keith Whitton was on repeat, so I can't help it if the song Little Amy was stuck in my head! It was PURELY coincidence that the last girl I had dated was named Amy...

***Edited to say:
Oh, and need I even bring up how many times you've called me by the wrong name when wasted? Nah, probably not, it's been over 7 months since you've done it. Seems like it's in the past.... *hint hint*

[Edited on Dec 26, 2004 by ScarredAngel]

Maybe this ought to scare you and/or the FBI. Just maybe.

There's something kinda sweet about that, in a really fucked up sorta way.

I've never had anything really cool or interesting said to me, except for one girl saying that it was too big and hurt, which was kinda a small ego boost for like a minute. One of the funnier things is probably me calling a g/f by her best friends name and then trying to explain that I was thinking about this other girl and not her best friend.

During sex
*Phone rings*
Her: Hello?
pause
Her: sorry can I call you back I am in the middle of something? (duh!)
Me: More like somethings in the middle of you!
*laughter*
*hangs up*
...
Later I find out it was her aunt.