I like to stick a softened toothbrush up my ass while I whack off with a piece of liverwurst in my palm! I guess any cold cut would do, but I prefer liverwurst. Anyway, go slow until your about to spew, then speed up to explosion time. Just as you explode, reach around and move the toothbrush from side to side!

All you need is a piece of liver. Almost thawed, but still a little frozen. Once you can bend the liver, find the middle and use a knife to cut a whole in the center about the size of a dime. Wrap it around your penis. The cold meat feels like a real pussy, all wet and slippery. Whack off as you usually would and just before you jiz make sure the whole in the liver is at the head of your prick and cum away. Intense!!

When I want a good whack, I use snow cap lard from any grocery store. The lard is very slippery, and almost as slick as pig fat. Pig fat, believe it or not is the best lubrication I've ever used. You can get pig fat from any grocery store, just tell them your wife is using it for seasoning for a stew or some sort. When you use it, make sure it is REAL pig fat, not chicken or turkey or something, which can be irritating.

Sunspun

Canada

December 2010

JUN 19, 2011 09:02 PM

Hm. Electric toothbrush, head removed. Purrrrr.
I think sex toys should be waaaaay more accessible to kids, and this thread only underscores that point.

lectorvyal

Australia

May 2006

JUN 20, 2011 04:54 AM

this thread makes me feels so.....inexperienced, about the weirdest thing i have masturbated with is my other hand

two_windmills

Beaverton, OR

June 2008

JUN 20, 2011 04:36 PM

MisterSatan said:

Malloreigh said:
my hand. that was crazy.

SICK!

hahaha

two_windmills

Beaverton, OR

June 2008

JUN 20, 2011 04:38 PM

a wooden spoon.... I was desperate for penetration, but it didn't work at all because it was too wide, besides it freaked me out a little once it was in there.

catflap

United Kingdom

October 2011

JUL 28, 2011 01:24 PM

Calico said:
Some of the suggestions on this site are hilarious. For the sake of humanity, I hope they're fake.

Some gems:

catflap

United Kingdom

October 2011

JUL 31, 2011 11:47 AM

Calico said:
Some of the suggestions on this site are hilarious. For the sake of humanity, I hope they're fake.

here's another one i found funny

"When you go shopping for the diapers, tell people it's for your newborn nephew:

Soak a disposable diaper in warm (not hot) water until it's "full". Hold on to it on one side letting all the absorbent material fall to the bottom. Cut an appropriate sized hole at the bottom and go at it. Careful, as it can be a bit messy. But, it's quite a nice feeling."