somnambulistic sex?

I think MissTyrios doesnt have a right to say anything about the situation and disagree with her completely. Though i will say that the situation sounds either subconscious activity or mild influene/possesion - a very common situation actually, nothing strange about it under the situation.

And I also think it is retarded that they are trying to turn this into a clinical diagnosis. The last thing people need is another fucking fancy name to pawn off their own theraputic and cathartic responsibilites onto, and to replace with a symptom supressing, chronic condition creating, side effect ridden drug.

My ex would wake me up every time, but we would still finish the business. There were times, however, when it wasn't appreciated. But keep in mind I was the one doing it. So who exactly would be the one being violated? Me or her?

While sex with someone who does not consent is rape in most states, I think it would be very easy to make a defense in that there was implied consent. One, she initiated. Two, they were already in an established relationship. Think of it like having drunk sex with your livein boyfriend/girlfriend. You have sex all the time with this person and unless one of you has said 'dont fuck me when I've been drinking', its going to be implied that sex is ok unless of course one of you is totally gone. However, if you met some girl that you didnt already have an established sexual relationship with and proceeded to have drunk sex with her, then yeah, that is pretty much rape as there was no consent given when she was sober enough to be making decisions.

To be honest, it's this response of yours that disturbs me. To call sex between two people who are going out, sleeping in the same bed, etc...rape is pretty ridiculous IMO. If it was clearly nonconsenting, that's one thing, but he does say that it was she who started it...and there have been times myself where, even though I wasn't at full consciousness and I was speaking in tongues, I was still awake enough to know where I was and what was going on. Speaking purely out of opinion and not in any aggressive or unkind way, that seems like a pretty ultra-conservative, feminist view...at least on some levels. His girlfriend was basically attacking him with sex, it seems, and to me that's totally fair-game.

On a side note, I totally think this was amazing experience I myself am kinda turned on by the surreal and usually my favorite dreams are the ones that only make a kind of half-sense. Maybe it's because one might say they are experiences which straddle the border between reality and imagination...and definately the subconscious. Wish I could experience it sometime!



[Edited on Jul 17, 2004 by DemoniacSmile]

Yes, it has happened to me.

Say that within you now exist many different possibilities. We know multiple personality and stuff like that exists. But to keep it real, say she went into a trance state triggered by who knows what cause’ she was sleeping. Clues, speaking in tongues, demanding “differently”, fucking a completely different person, talk about the “color” of sex and kissing, all alternate ways being and she had no recollection.

Sometimes the dream world and this world cross and the conscious mind can’t keep up.
My ex and I were super-freaks. Some of our experiences were induced but some weren’t.
We were so comfortable with each other that the conscious mind relaxed and sometimes the subconscious took over.

It happened. We liked it. We keep exploring. Drop by sometime and I’ll tell you some stories. As to guilt, the reason it happened, in my opinion, was the comfort level. If you want to keep going, in excited state or “slippery” state repeat what you remember and see if you trigger. BTW, what color did you say was sex? This is very important!

I agree with Shadow, it can be a really great thing it seems.

I think one of the most interesting things was talking about what "color" things are that don't really have colors. For a while I've felt that colors like that are part of our subconscious. Back in high school a few friends and I would play a game where one of us would say a random phrase, like:

"A Gorilla smashing a silver sink"

or

"An airplane riding on its side"

And then we'd all say what color or number came to our mind that we associated with that phrase. Amazingly, our answers were often really similar, or the same.

This whole thread is fucking creepy, first post on...

SOMEBODY WHO IS UNCONSCIOUS CANNOT GIVE CONSENT!

That sentence is extra specially incredibly disturbing, because of how completely wrong and ignorant it is, for one thing, but also because of how many people seem to think it's valid.

IF YOU HAVE SEX WITH SOMEBODY WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT, YOUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS MAKES NO DIFFERENCE!

Why isn't it rape? Because she woke up afterward and gave consent post facto. That's just luck. This guy could've been fucked in more ways than one. If she had felt violated by the incident, it would probably have lead to an end to the relationship, if nothing more.

I think Tyrios overreacted, but she certainly had a point.

OTOH, with the issue of consent... we have an interesting conundrum. The girlfriend was asleep, in a mental state wherein any consent can't be considered entirely valid... but she was the one initiating, so what could he do? Waking her up seems the most obvious solution, but you always hear how dangerous it is to wake a sleepwalker-- upon waking they're disoriented and could behave irrationally, even violently. What do you do? Truly the horn(ie)s of a dilemma!

Just to get this straight. You would feel violated if you were to have woke up in the middle of the night. Got ontop of your significant other. Started to initait sex. Then when he removed your clothes you would feel violated..... Ummmm OK then.

Wow guys. This thread had the potential to be such a happy place....

I don't know. I feel violated every time my alarm clock wakes me up in the morning. I mean, I know I was the one who set it in the first place, but still... In my waking state of mind, I didn't like the buzzing.

We are complex beings with multiple states of mind. By implying that this is rape raises countless psychological questions about state of mind/state of being. Do we really want to discuss this??

i used to date a girl that had some sort of weird seizures so that sometimes she would only be half there mentally. she wouldnt make sense and would talk and do stuff but then afterwards she wouldnt remember it at all.
maybe your old lady has a problem like that. if it happens repeatedly it wouldnt be a bad idea to have it checked out

All very good points.
Allow me to add, she was NOT unconscious, perhaps differently conscious.
Life is strange. All kinds of unexplainable things happen. I am glad he shared the experience, just for the simple reason, it happens. Talking about it is a good thing.

Additionally, from a reactionary point of view, I get the impression he just went with it. Well she’s doing weird stuff and Ok, whatever. My girlfriends have woken me up in the middle of the night wanting sex and I was not really in my right mind at the time, but I went with it. Cause’, whatever for your pleasure, sweetheart.

Intent. To call this rape brings into question the intent. He meant no harm and from a different perspective could just as easily be seen as taken advantage of. But, Gosh, it is all really difficult and invalid to judge this situation with such little information.

So back to weird things happen and life is more than we know. So keep up the Luv’ y’all.

It wasn't rape. Its a bit weird, but hey, this whole moral attack on the guy is bullshit. You arent them and dont see the subtle coloring of the event. Let your own consciousnce and intuition and relationship be the guide, the rest of these people's opinions dont weigh much in terms of relevance outside a situation like this. It would different if you said "This girl was passed out drunka nd I ahd my way with her." Then our opinions would be more relevant. But this one is a bit weirder of a situation.

I didn't expect to spark such a debate. Because of our relationship, the issue of consent didn't occur to me until it was brought up here. It's a valid issue, for sure, but this is a long term relationship and the boundaries are well defined.

At first, I was kinda stung by the accusations , but as Alhim says, you can only go on your own intuition and conscience in a situation like this, which is what I did.

It's comforting too hear we're not the only ones, too. Thanks.

*cough*bullshit*cough*

my ex used to do this a lot after drinking wine. While I found it increadibly hot it was also cause for alarm. I wasn't on the pill and I'm a rather sound sleeper so one night I woke up to him thrusting away and he said " I just came inside you." I freaked out. Thankfully I did not become pregnant. While the idea of sleep sex is kind of hot, it's rather scary to have sex with someone who is not themseves and can be rather violent and out of character.

Yeah, most people have layers and layers of inhabitions and willpower controling them while they're conscious, stuff you need to exist in society... strip that stuff away and a person could be kinda scary.

^^^ Exactly.

This mention of rape really angers me. While I did not choose to have sex with him, he was my boyfriend AND most importantly he was not consciously choosing to have sex with me. In all honesty he was more terrified and concerned that he was doing such things in his sleep than I was. And according to the laws in most states it does not constitute rape if you are not conscious and purposefully committing the crime.

For those of you that do have sex in your sleep it is more likely to occur if you have been drinking or if you are under a lot of stress. So make sure you lock yourself in when you visit the family this holiday season.