somnambulistic sex?

I wrote this for my journal, but I'd really like to know if anyone else has experienced this.

This came from left field. My girlfriend has never sleep-walked or displayed any somnambulistic tendencies. Occassionally, she'll mumble something in her sleep. That's it.

Last night, we had a bunch of friends over for dinner. She had three, maybe four, glasses of wine and crashed early because she had to work this morning. About two hours later, after everyone had left, I went to bed pretty much sober. She's right in the middle of the bed, so I gently nudge her over, trying not to wake her.

Next thing I know, she is on top of me and grinding, reverse cowboy style in her pjs, and speaking in tongues. Her enunciation is clear, but she's not making any sense. She said a lot of short words with ts and ps in them. I have no idea what's going on. Part of me wants to laugh, but I manage to choke back the giggles and work her clothes off. Foreplay was very brief. She was in complete control of herself physically and pretty soon she was demanding I fuck her very hard.

She became very verbose and was no longer speaking in tongues. Now, she's not the silent type, but she was really telling me what to do. I was pretty sure she must have woken up as some point during the sex, but the whole time it felt like I was fucking a completely different person.

Afterwards, we had some light post-coital banter, some of which made sense, some of which didn't. She wanted to talk about the colour of sex and kissing. It starts purple, she insisted, but could change colour later on. She wanted to know what colour I thought it was. We also discussed our friends' wedding present.

This morning, she doesn't remember anything except talking about the wedding present, which she thought was a brief conversation just after I came to bed. Even when I filled her in on the details, she had no recollection.

Meanwhile, I got some of the best sex of my life. I feel spoilt rotten.

i wish... alright!!!

one time, this girl and I were in bed. We both went to sleep. That night I had a really really hot dream about the wildest hottest sex with her.

the next morning when we got up I mentioned it to her and she had no recollection of it at all.

I've always felt weird about this one.

I think that if both people are willing and consenting (at other times) then there's nothing wrong with it. What I mean is, at some time when both parties are conscious, they both agree that should one be unconscious they are both fine with the proposed event.

However, I don't know as I could ever really consent to this, if you get my drift. Something about getting fucked while I'm asleep seems very very hot, and something about it seems very very wrong. The worst part is I can't analyze away the very very wrong part at all.

[Edited on Jul 16, 2004 by swanage]

i did that to my ex once, apparently i was passed out, he came and kissed my cheek before he fell asleep and i jumped him, woke up in the middle of it while i was on top of him, it was kinda weird seeing as ive never so muched as talked in my sleep.... i dont think he minded though

that's about the scariest thing I've ever heard of. Thanx for the nightmares I will have later on.

I posted about this in the "Am I the only one" group...

and yes, the sex can be really wild...

It's definitely not a bad thing

Its gotta be nice to know that in your girl's deepest subconscious she wants to fuck the living daylights out of you.

This story disturbs me. Your girlfriend was speaking in tongues - clearly a sign that she was not at her full mental capacity. Yet, even while fully aware that she was either not awake or not fully conscious of what was going on, you still took her clothes off and had sex with her. It was only after you took this action that you thought she had woken up - that, to me, is a violation. She didn't know what she was doing, you know she didn't know what she was doing, and it seems like you took advantage of that. I can only, of course, consider this from my own vantage point - if that happened to me - for whatever reason...sleep disorder, drunkeness, whatever - I would feel violated, even if it was my boyfriend. I think it's different if you really truly thought she was awake and was just being extremely vocal - but she was speaking nonsense when you took her clothes off. You even say that you had to keep from laughing and had to "work her clothes off." It just seems wrong, regardless of how great the sex might have been.

Edited to add: I'm actually going to do some research and figure out if something like this could constitute rape in some places. I know that, in some states here, if a person knows that another person has diminished capacity to consent, and yet still has sex with that person, it is rape. Time to read up on my criminal law.

Edited again to add: I am not accusing you of being a rapist, though your behavior does deeply disturb me. (You felt spoiled rotten for getting sex that your girlfriend has zero recollection of? That's supposed to be a good thing?) I'm just curious as to what the legal issue might be in a situation such as this, if there is any at all.

[Edited on Jul 16, 2004 by MissTyrios]

[Edited on Jul 16, 2004 by MissTyrios]

I appreciate your points, but I don't think you can really judge a situation like this without knowing the dynamic between the people in question. Granted, my story probably comes across too braggadocious, which wasn't my intention. At the time, I basically felt that she was in control and directing things.

When I said spoiled rotten, I meant that I did feel guilty about it.

http://www.sleepsex.org
I have some experience with this and it can be really fucked up if you don't know what's going on. It sounds like a fun time until someone feels like they've been violated.

I've gotta get my boyfriend to start drinking wine.

its stupid to think thats a violation of anykind. he told her about it the next day and she seemed fine with it even though she didnt remember it. i have been in simmaler situations (not so extreeme) when my girl or i get horny in mid slumber and wake up fondling eachother and end up having half awake sex there is nothing wrong with that. and i have been woken up with oral more than a few times. is it a violation if my gf feels a full on evil robot chubby whilst im sleeping and takes care of bussiness. the answer is no. his gf was being quite frisky and she got a stiff one, good for her and for him. you people that are creeped out by this seem like you might have issues.

I've run into this before. GF and I were out one night, had a few drinks and went back to her apt. She fell asleep almost immediately, and I drifted off eventually as well. Sometime while it was still dark, I am awakened up in the warmest, most wonderful way imaginable. I look down and see her head bobbing and twisting away (she's got serious skill). Eventually, she lets me go, slides up, rolls over on top of me so she's on top with her back to me. And so it begins. Then, after a while (believe me, I wasn't watching the clock), she rolls off, rolls over on her side, mutters 'quit grabbing me' and for all I can tell is dead asleep. So, I stay up the rest of the night wondering what the fuck had just happened. When I asked her in the morning, she didn't have the first clue what I was talking about. I dunno. We just kinda laughed and let it slide simply chalking it up to 'weird shit can happen when you sleep. It hasn't happened since. I guess I should just consider myself lucky that she didn't blurt out the a name that wan't mine while she was sleep-fucking me.

Years ago, with a different person, we had gone to sleep and she woke me up in the morning (early) telling me that she had this dream that we'd slept together and asked if we had. We'd only been out a couple of times and it was our first sleepover (fall of my sophomore year in college. I was 19, at the time and she was 17, I think), so nothing significant had happened, yet. The funny thing was that I'd also had a dream about us having sex, and told her so. We were both kind freaked out, by then and decided to check our respective bits and pieces for coital evidence, and, sure enough, we were sore, sticky and fragrant in all the right ways and places. It was nice in the dream, and, as luck would have it, upon comparison, it was also nice while we were awake. Side note- that was the 1st time having sex outside of the USA. I have sooo many good memories of Montreal. It seems like I always had great sex in Montreal. Somebody tell it 'hi' for me.

Hi, like you to meet my son Ian, he is the product of me getting it on while asleep. Every so often I do it. While I don't remember anything about unless I happen to wake up during it, but that is rare. While usually humorous (or annoying depending on how my wife feels) it can be really bad. Such as molesting a male buddy when we were all cramped together while camping (that I'll never live down). Anyway, all I can say is enjoy it while it lasts and lord it over them when you can.

ROB!

My ex and I pretty frequently woke up with one or the other of us disrobing the other in our sleep. Granted we both would wake up before we started having sex, but the foreplay, grinding on each other, etc. was done while we were sleeping. My ex always said that those were her favorite times.

It's a miracle! Call the Pope!

Hahah. Dude said evil robot chubby.

I had that experience in the reverse. The greatest sex dream ever. So great, in fact, that I woke my gf up (without knowing it) and acted it out. Or maybe it was because i woke her up that it was so great. I woke up or came to or something afterwords and was terrified that I might have called her a different name or asked her to bark like a dog or something off the wall like that. She didnt go into details, but she loved it. Wow, thats depressing...I just realized...Im better asleep....

this happened to me a couple of times when i was taking anti depressants. is she on Z happy pills? I wouldnt remember shit the next morning but i would completey lose control after a few glasses of wine. i had bruises and hickies with no idea where they came from. it sucked.

Thanks for the link. I can see how it could get out of hand and uncomfortable.

the couple of times this has happened to me, it has been among the best sex ever. when it's on, i'm still dreaming and all the mad rules of that place still apply making for the strangest understanding of what is happening. i wish it occurred more often.

There's a difference between the person being UNCONCIOUS and half-alseep. If you wake me upafter I've slept for maybe 3 horus when I'm overtired, I will talk to you about whatever I was doing last, incoherently - if I was playing a sapce sim, for example, I'll be complaining about some planet. If I was at work, I'll be reciticing polygon counts.

In a relationship situation, I don't think anything is wrong with this at all.. your not in your right mind (again, this only happens if I'm REALLY overtired, but other people have it trigger easier), no. But it's like getting really drunk and being with your girlfriend.. your both already consenting partners, your not taking advantage.

Where this IS wrong is if you were to apply this to someone who is NOT a consenting partner - taking advantage of not-being-fully-capable for WHATEVER reason is morally wrong.

So that's my two cents.