Hey everyone, This will be my first post here....so here goes...
I know the answer should be 'NO' but i feel getting some more perspective on this would help me to better understand and cope with my situation....
My wife has, for the past 2-3 years had almost zero Sex drive. To the point where if I ever get horny she usually half-hardheartedly offers my a handjob. (woopdie fucking do i can do that my self) She usually claims her is tired, or not in the mood. I think we have had sex about 12 times in the past 2 years... yes its that bad. When i try and talk to her about it she just claims she either does not know why she never has any sex drive or that she feels fat/ugly and thus is never in the mood.
Putting aside the 'she is cheating, or taking care of her self through masturbation' does anyone know of or if, there could be something medically wrong? could it be a mental thing? or am i just that horrable of a person she does not want sex with me? I really could use some input......
Malkara said:
does anyone know of or if, there could be something medically wrong? could it be a mental thing? or am i just that horrable of a person she does not want sex with me? I really could use some input......
Could be any of the above -- something medical, something mental/emotional, or something about her-and-you as a couple.
What we don't know is what your sex life used to be like -- was it wild in the past, and now it's dwindled to nothing?
Ideally, you'd be able to talk this through with her, probably with the idea of raising the idea of seeing a doctor or a counsellor of some sort. That requires her to be willing to discuss this.
If she's worried, she should speak to her doctor. If there is not a medical reason, she might want to go talk to a counselor. But, and I must stress this, only if SHE is worried.
Coyote_ said:
If she's worried, she should speak to her doctor. If there is not a medical reason, she might want to go talk to a counselor. But, and I must stress this, only if SHE is worried.
that is the thing see seems to not be worried about it at all... which i think might irk me the most, its almost as she does not care at all about it. Makes me feel like shit knowing the woman i married does not want to have sex with me...
Coyote_ said:
If she's worried, she should speak to her doctor. If there is not a medical reason, she might want to go talk to a counselor. But, and I must stress this, only if SHE is worried.
that is the thing see seems to not be worried about it at all... which i think might irk me the most, its almost as she does not care at all about it. Makes me feel like shit knowing the woman i married does not want to have sex with me...
She might not feel comfortable telling your that she's worried.
Here's the thing: we don't know. The possible answers range from repressed memories to medical issues to genuinely being too tired. We can spend from now until forever guessing.
Many people have low sex drives. There are dozens of reasons why, ranging from prescription side effects and psychological issues to she's just not that sexual. Posting about her sympathy handies on a porn site probably isn't going to get her engine revving though. Talk to her, and not when you're angry and sexually frustrated. That will automatically put her on the defensive. Try to find a calm moment when you're both in a good mood. Make sure she knows you find her attractive and you want to help do whatever it takes to regain that intimacy. Don't just start in on her saying what happened to all the sex?!?!
Malkara
I'm lost
February 2013
FEB 19, 2013 06:31 AM