Virgins? What do you all think?

Ding ding ding! We have a wiener.

Essentially, in a nutshell, I think you need to not over think things and not focus on what you think they're going to think (because you're actually pretty cute you know, I've definitely dated worse looking blokes) and... choose better women. God, if I had a dollar for every time a mate went after a complete bitch, or even just a note-so-nice girl, when nice girls like me are standing around going "Hello?! Hit on ME and you'll actually get somewhere."... These places you go to where you get rejected, there are girls there that'll go on a date with you. You're just not seeing them.

That's just what I think is going on. I may be wrong, but surely a whole town can't just be comprised of Snooki lookalikes. There are some, erm, normal, girls there, for sure.

EDIT: Thistle responded while I was writing that. Yeah, pretty much what she said, heh.

No, I'm just reading his fucking words.

He had a six year relationship.

A six year relationship.

And in that relationship, he did not get laid.

For fuck's sake, what is up with reading comprehension on the boards today?

However he looks (and I never presumed or asserted that looks aren't an issue), there is something else going on that he needs to address.

Hey now. One of us, maybe.

I think something important to remember is just be honest with yourself and who you are interested in, and I don't mean outspokenly. Just be calm, collect, cool, confident, inspiring, honest, flirtacious, and a little cocky. Having sex is something you can do WHILE waiting for the 100% right person to come along, but if the 80% right person wants to fuck you, then just go for it man! Hopefully you don't feel any pressure to lose it to just anyone, just make sure you're both comfortable (with each other) and it's all mutual.

Hope this all makes sense, it's late and thought I'd share my two cents and help a bro out.

Cheers.

I know you are most likely referring to Sallen here but I just want to address your points. Especially the last one. Personally, I know I don't smell bad, if anything I hate being smelly, so let's throw that out. I used to have a shitty attitude when I wasn't working on myself and getting the help I needed for a disorder I have. So, that's basically not an issue anymore. Never been obnoxious to people as far as I can tell. Most people tell me I am the exact opposite of that if they get to know me.

More importantly is the last point. Only going after super hot girls. I have actually never once done this. I typically go for girls who would be considered average to maybe above average in looks. I don't even bother with super hot women. I grew up in a family that places a lot of emphasis on outward beauty and I have tried to reject that notion as much as possible. They are very shallow people. Yet, here I am still single and completely lost as to why. My friends don't get it either. Not sure what I did but I have completely bad luck in this area of my life.

Ok, here is the thing. I never said we didn't fool around some. She just refused to have sex with me. Handjobs were a common occurrence as well as the occasional blowjob. She always complained during the BJs that she wanted it to be smaller. So, she eventually stopped giving me oral, lol. Now I don't consider a blowjob sex, so let's ignore that for now. Once the relationship started getting rocky and we broke up the issue was that she felt like she wasn't good enough for me. Sadly, I had a second relationship, that didn't last anywhere near as long, but the same thing happened in the end. These girls both felt like I was too good for them and that I could love them way better than they could love me.

As far as other women are concerned. I honestly have no clue. Maybe my intellect catches women off guard and they feel kinda dumb around me. I have been told it's a daunting task to speak with me initially because I tend to come off really smart and witty and it unnerves people. So, I generally receive little effort from people, regardless of gender of course. At the same token, if people spend a little time getting to know me, then they generally think I am a pretty awesome person. Perhaps this is where things go wrong. It's really the only thing I can think of at this point. Which is kinda stupid if you ask me.

So good thing I said "he did not get laid."

Thank goodness I'm as thick as a plank. I'd never get laid otherwise.

Seriously, every post you write just adds to the mystery.

I have some bad news. You're going to die a virgin. Sorry.

By all means, I am not saying I am some gift to women, clearly that's false at this point. I certainly have my issues but I am always working to examine what's going on to see what I am doing wrong. My biggest issue is a lack of aggression. I have been working on it the past few months and have been a lot better in that regard than I used to be. I have a disorder like I stated before in this thread.

I certainly won't hide it from people. It's something I have worked really hard on the past few years of my life. I mainly suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder. I have been through therapy and am on meds for it. The main issue that stems from my disorder is my inability to read people when things are directed at me. If a girl is showing interest it really does not read that way to me. It seems like at best they are just being friendly. I would say that has to be my biggest barrier in communication as opposed to anything else.

I used to be negative about it a couple years ago but I have learned to accept I have the disorder and am trying my hardest to overcome the obstacles it can cause. This isn't just with dating, it's basically with people in general. I can be very well spoken if I feel a person is going to try to have a conversation with me. Unfortunately, I can't read people still to this day that well so I often assume they aren't all that interested. At least that's how it seems. So it has been even a barrier for making friendships at times. Also, I used to hang out with a lot of very conservative people and have really been distancing myself from that because a lot of them act like bigots and misogynists.

But even with this disorder, I have managed to have girlfriends, very long term like I said. They just refused intercourse. And for the third or fourth time, I honestly believe it had to do with RELIGIOUS reasons. Even though for some reason they were ok with everything else. Not sure how that works, but oh well.

Maybe you're not aggressive enough, but too tense around people? It seems like you just want people to agree with you and say, "I give up. You're a lost cause." Maybe it's that same attitude that's keeping you from getting laid, or at least playing a part in it.

The problem, I think, is that you live in West Virginia. My West Virginian friend describes it as the place the rest of America is allowed to make fun of. It's wrong to expect answers from a place about which that can be said. Also, West VIRGINia. Coincidence? I think not.

I really don't want people to agree with me. Like I said, I have been working on my issues involving my disorder the past few years. And if I never mentioned anything, the vast majority of the people I meet really wouldn't have any clue I even have it. It's really that drastic of a difference now. It's most likely now the lack of aggression. I just can't tell when or if I should make moves on women. If they are being flirty, I seriously have zero clue. So, instead of making a move, I just see it as all friendly. The difference was that my exes were very clear in their intentions and I could tell. Most women are so subtle I have no idea what they are intending to do, if anything at all, lol.

Haha, yeah I think you could be correct in some regard. Although a lot of the younger people here are from Jersey, so that may be part of the issue as well. Meaning the Jersey Shore more than anything else. So their idea of standards are kinda out of whack on all sorts of things. Not just dating or sex, lol.

Maybe it's this weird obsession with thinking that people in Morgantown are actually from New Jersey?

Well, I understand that. I have trouble interpreting the signals of women, too. Usually when a girl talks to me, I just interpret it as being friendly conversation; I totally see where you're coming from. I've never been pushy, or a pursuer, because it'd be too forthcoming in my mind. I never wanted people to think, "Wow! He's trying too hard!" or "Wow! This gimp really needs to get laid!" I try not to myself as somewhat devalued in others' eyes because I have cerebral-palsy, but like it or not, a % of women aren't too keen on that. It's shied me away from doing things over the years.

I feel like it's embarrassing to show sexuality because of that, honestly.

Yet, even I know that the guy who is forthcoming, and hits on a lot of women, will be the first to get laid. But if someone tells you you're ugly, they aren't worth fucking, period. People think things, but to say it outright is just mean.

Gotta hand it to you, you've gotten further than I have.

It's not just a thought. The vast majority of students with cars here have Jersey license plates. Most people with West Virginia plates here are generally of an older generation. It's an awkward town where the dichotomy is college kids and older people. Not much in between as far as real social outlets are concerned. Our population dwindles enormously when students leave. And there seems to be far fewer morons on the road, so I guess that's a good thing.

Well, I understand that. I have trouble interpreting the signals of women, too. Usually when a girl talks to me, I just interpret it as being friendly conversation; I totally see where you're coming from. I've never been pushy, or a pursuer, because it'd be too forthcoming in my mind. I never wanted people to think, "Wow! He's trying too hard!" or "Wow! This gimp really needs to get laid!" I try not to myself as somewhat devalued in others' eyes because I have cerebral-palsy, but like it or not, a % of women aren't too keen on that. It's shied me away from doing things over the years.

I feel like it's embarrassing to show sexuality because of that, honestly.

Yet, even I know that the guy who is forthcoming, and hits on a lot of women, will be the first to get laid. But if someone tells you you're ugly, they aren't worth fucking, period. People think things, but to say it outright is just mean.

Gotta hand it to you, you've gotten further than I have.



I am really not embarrassed to show signs of sexuality its just that I am seriously clueless. Unless a woman is straight up throwing her self at me or telling me she is interested, it all basically looks exactly the same. I took a test once involving peoples eyes and faces and what they were trying to express. Aside from really obvious ones like anger or terror, I couldn't tell any difference between the other faces. I think I got like 30% correct on that thing. That's a huge issue when you are trying to interact with people.

That girl was a bitch. She just put a good front up. Hell, she acted super interested. Totally hands on, flirty enough to be obvious, back rubs and then she is like, oh dude you are super ugly but your personality is great. It was kinda like well fuck you too. Considering I saw her show zero interest with other guys and was acting like that with me, I thought she was interested, clearly I was wrong, haha.

And thats a bullshit response. I really hate when people pull "so and so I dated or had sex was ugly card" or "im totally not attractive" when they obviously are.

Perception goes along with attractiveness. which is also why your response is bullshit as you proceeded to give well known, artistic or talented individuals as examples of "ugly". Would Steve Buscemi have trouble getting laid? Probably not, would some average guy with no talent and who isnt a well known thespian and looks in the same area as Buscemi have trouble getting laid? indeed he would.

not having traditional good looks is not the same as being ugly, which seems to be the most common mistake pretty people make in their assumptions.

The more you dwell on an issue, the worse it gets... forget about it, focus on other aspects of your life & if the issue is resolvable it'll probably resolve itself.

Thank you! At least one person thinks it's cute, haha. Not that it was entirely intentional. At this point I am still kinda wavering on the decision. I would prefer it be with someone I love. But, at the rate I am going, it seems like a hard thing to accomplish. The love part especially.