Open Relationships/Polyamoury

Sounds like a self-fulfilling prophecy, sir. You want some additional companionship, you gotta put yourself out there.

I couldn't do the open relationship thing ...

fucking another girl while Perrie is involved is something I've done hundreds of times, at her request ... and while she's not ready yet, I'd be very happy for Perrie to be fucked by me and another guy ...

but going off and doing stuff separate is out of our limits ...

YES! I wish I knew where my copy of this book got off to. It was great reading when my ex and I were getting ready to enter into a swinging relationship. Our relationship didn't end up working out, but it had remarkably little to do with the swinging.

tylan and I have been together since 1999. We were both newly divorced, and started out our first date stressing that Neither of us would "Make that mistake again." We had friends we played with, mostly a girl she was friends with, and a guy I was friends with, and, both of us being bi, it was always fun. We checked out some clubs in the area, namely, the "Club Kama Sutra", when that was around, but didn't really like the vibe. Everyone was older than us (we were 23 and 25), and Women playing together was encouraged, but a guy glancing against another guy bought on the Spanish Inquisition (and NO ONE expects the Spanish Inquisition!). We would have our occasional 'new friend', but always together, and always for sexin' fun, nothing more. In 2002, she had a friend ask her to take some nude photos for an Adult Hookup site, and she asked if I'd mind. I said it was cool, and they set a date to snap some pics and hang out.

The morning of the picture date, I said to her, "You know, if you're having fun, and enjoying yourself, go ahead and do what you want. Sex, fooling around, whatever....It's cool. One rule, though. I want to hear about everything that happens, ok?" She wasn't sure what she'd do, but thanked me, and agreed to full disclosure. That night, they fucked, and had a great time, and he called me to thank me, and when she got home in the morning, the sex we had was incredible. I wasn't sure how I'd actually feel about it all, but in the end, I knew all the details, and that was all I needed. I never got jealous, or angry, but viewed it as a sort of foreplay for us, and it worked. Later, she added another friend, and together, we added a couple, and the fun went on. In 2006, we got married, and the following year, she was pregnant. Play stopped, and we decided we'd revisit it after we adjusted to the roles of Mommy and Daddy.

Now, this whole time, as she was allowed to take a lover outside the relationship, I was only allowed to play if she was there and playing, and I was cool with that. I always envisioned my perfect relationship to be a group of men and women, who all were lovers and friends, in every possible pairing and group, but tylan? Not as much. After the baby, though, we talked about it, and she thought it would be nice if I had friends outside the marriage as well. Since then, she has a serious girlfriend, who is married. They date, and make love, as just the 2 of them, or with me, or with her husband. She also has a few guys she dates and fucks, and I have a few women, and a guy, I see without her. We have a few couples we also date, and are looking for the 'ideal', which is a bi couple that plays together, and without each other. We talked about when we would stop, but really don't see a reason to. We have the fun of dating new people, the anticipation that comes with it; the joy of forming long term bonds with other people; and the love and companionship we offer each other in a strong marriage.

We don't know what to call it. PolyMonogamy? Open but Invitation Only marriage? Married with Benefits? Frankly, we don't feel it needs a label, as it's ours, and works for us.

Now, our kinks? That's a completely different topic........

fuck that shit!!! tried it, NEVER AGAIN

I have, don't worry about that. But it seems difficult to find another girl that wouldn't mind a polyamorous relationship. I think my wife, if she actually put herself out there, would probably get quiet a number.

But it's I think it's more of the fact that a woman is putting herself out there that grabs the most attention. Not so much guys (Unless you can be deemed "Hot" by others).

I just saw an interesting post at io9. It's about a literary agent asking a writer to remove a gay character, which is terrible and unsurprising. The part that caught me off guard and is relevant to this thread is that a character could not consensually date two women, he'd have to cheat and lie about it.

I'm a little too stunned to provide insightful commentary, but what the hell is wrong with our society?

There are poly ladies out there. I have found some OKCupid is a nice way to make poly friends and then take things further, in my experience.

In my poly group, we have lots of girls who are actively poly, and lots of guys who have girlfriends who are poly but are happy to only have her. Is this just us? It's not so much a lack of willing ladies as a lack of interest in looking on the guys parts.