Ladies first

Man, I totally misread what he wrote that night.

Going off his first sentence and my answer, I am assuming I thought it had to to with not making her come.

My comments have had to do with allowing for variety, spontaneity, and the fact that, sometimes, she might be more interested in getting you (the theoretical "you") off.

Oh, I get it now. I totally misread it that night and responded without fully comprehending what you typed. I fucked that up.

And I agree about variety and mixing it up. The same' ol' same ol' of anything gets boring after a while.

My initial post was really about sending a message to those guys who don't put effort into their partners and are more concerned with their orgasm. *

* Disclaimer: Granted, everyone knows there are circumstances where one of you isn't going to orgasm whether it's due to circumstances or it's simply the plan for that moment.

I think you really hit it there. A big concern of mine will always be her enjoyment of whatever is going on, but the worst thing you can do is keep the orgasm at the front of your\her mind. It just interrupts whats going on and will make it harder for you to last and make it more difficult for her to enjoy it.

Orgasms will happen but bad sex happens when you forget that it's just one part of the experience.

I know you didn't ask for a lady's perspective, but here's my $.02 anyway:

If my boyfriend had to wait to get off during sex before I came... well, he'd be one very frustrated individual.

As long as the dude puts in the effort, I have no problem with him coming first. In fact, I prefer it. Takes the pressure off of me. If he appears as though he *has* to make me come, then there's absolutely no chance it'll happen. I have a hard enough time getting off as it is.

I don't live by the rule that they have to get off first. Yet at the same time there is something to be said for fore play and warming a girl up. I have found that a good season of going down will lead to a more reved up women and one that is more apt to get off again and again. That said I don't focus on her getting off first or anyting but that doesn't mean that a big part of my pleasure doesn't surround watching a girl squirm and lose it. There is this wonderful point when all control is thrown to the wind and you both turn into rutting animals. Yummy.

That said there are lots of different kinds of sex and sexual situations. As long as everyone is having a good time and such do whatever. Still you have to make sure that it doesn't become one of those things where only one person is ever enjoying themselves.

You know, dearambellina made a point.
My x-wife didnt masturbate, so didnt really know what made her "get off", so we fought alot about her not getting hers. Not for lack of trying (but thats not what she would say).
For the longest time, I felt like I was inadequate.
But then again, who knows, all it took was a big 6'2" black guy to come along and show her what she was missing with me.
No substitute for experience I guess. Or size, LOL

With previous partners, if they had to wait for me to come, they'd be going for a looong time.

Now I can't imagine not climaxing before my boyfriend, because during an average session I'll probably orgasm ten or twenty times.

I wouldn't be able to get off if I thought my man was waiting for me too. That would just be awkward. But I usually take matters into my own hands, since I know exactly how to get myself off with my man. And honestly, him getting off gets me off so waiting for me to would be stupid.

It has ALWAYS been my #1 Rule: Ladies First, or even better - arriving together.