bare minimum

I'm thinking ten (10) minutes of kissing mixed with a little fondling; you break the plain and the idea is for filled.
O.k., what is the bare minimum sexually that can be done and you still consider it good, or at least satisfactory? Not asking, what makes a person / or the experience good; as much as what takes it over the level of not sucking.

If I don't get my chest pooped on, the night is ruined. Simply ruined.

funny stuff!

DVDA

I can only get off with statistical rigour.

75% of all facts are made up on the spot.

......and then you take her into the place of lovemaking.

It's not fun and games unless she releases and array of rocket-propelled monkeys.

She then disrobes herself of the sex-toy bedecked bandolier and in a forceful yet feminine voice cries from the mountaintop:

THE PLAINS SHALL BE BROKEN, THE IDEAS FOR FILLED.

Funny, cause I have a thing for British English alternate spellings.

SUGARBUSH!

statistically, the average human has one tit and one ball

And less than 10 fingers

I want to break the plain with everyone in this thread right now.

The idea is for filled.

A firm handshake is my bare minimum.

I am all the ten (10) minutes with my cock up.

If she hums the National Anthem with my balls in her mouth, I am there.

She has to be able to name the capitals of every U.S. Territory (not states) in alphabetical order, then cross-reference them to dates of admittance to the U.S. as a territory while giving me a prostate exam, or I simply will not ask for a second date.

hell i have hit the point where i am pretty satisfied with a girl accidentally brushing up against me on the elevator and then looking at me in disgust.