Erotic Creative Writing

I have no one to send all these awesome stories to! No one sends me erotic stories anymore! Where did the love go eh?

I remove my robe and wizard hat...

"And then she said, Your balls...... totally rock."

"twas night, i stood there with my lover on the edge of a cliff, staring out onto the cold, black outline of a relentless ocean forsaken by the light of the moon, whispering softly into my lover's ear over a soundtrack of the crashing of gentle waves: 'i'm all the day with my cock up.'"

These are creative

I need 50 different ways to talk about dudes spunkin' on titties, STAT!!!

#1: "His surging man-stallion galloped across the vast expanse of her nubile mountains, trailing drops of that white frothy stuff that horses get on them when they've run a really long ways."

#2: "He created his monotone masterpiece back and forth between her quivering love-lumps as she cried out in ecstasy, 'I just washed the sheets!'

Jackson Pollack would be jealous as shit."

"His strong manly hands probed every crevice of her silken femininity, their undulating bodies writhing in sensual rhythm, as he thrust his purple-headed warrior into her quivering mound of love pudding."

He said "... and now for a geography lesson!" and proceeded to paint a map of Hawaii on her heaving breasts.

He coated her corseted cleavage with copulation clotted cream.

#6 - "Ice me like a cake!" she screamed. "Mais oui" replied the erotic French baker as he began to manhandle his half-tumescent pipette. Her hoarfrost white breasts were pointed like angular cubist sculptures sculpted from the finest fondant. His back arched in victory like the Triomphe and he painted her perfectly round wedding cakes with tasteful dollops of his buttercream. With a jaunty twist of the wrist, and an animal stare that only the most hedonistic patissier could muster he decorated her with a floral latticework. Here comes the bride.

#7 - "I want your seed in my milk" she cried, as he thrust again and again deep into her, her legs wrapped over his shoulders, her pert buttocks raised slightly up off the expensive mattress they'd recently bought on a pleasant little shopping trip to the factory outlets near the edge of town. "Let's make a magical mixture!"

He pulled out as he felt the overwhelming rush approaching, and then, holding his hardened and well-coated man-pump in a tight one-handed grip, let out a strangled gasp as he shot hot white fluid over her swollen orbs of delight. She sighed in pleasure and started pumping and caressing her lactating nipples to produce a white fluid of her own, as the baby started to cry in the next room ...

The best thus far.

*taps foot* Totally derivative.

It doesn't even have anything to do with man-goo on lady-globes. Very disappointing.

Srsly.

"Are you done yet?" she asked, breathing, well....it was more of an upset sigh more than anything else. "I love you with all my heart" i told her. She replied so cutely with "whatever", that's her little secret code for "i love you too!"...so cute.

I began to get the feeling, the urge, the welling up of my love juice. I began to breath heavily, groaning slightly, i withdrew and let loose my load on her....well she didn't take her Def Leppard concert tee off because my parents could have walked in the door at any minute......

"Wow, asshole, 30 seconds, it's a new record for you and you ruined my shirt" she said as she pulled her pants back up. That's code for "You're the best thing that ever happened to me and i will never hurt you....ever"....we have a little language of our own, if you know what i mean.

#9 "Cum in my tits." she said. And I did.

Fake/boring.

She walked under my balcony in a low-cut shirt. I couldn't help myself.

She stopped and looked up in the sky. "What the hell is this? Did a bird just shit on my tits?"

She couldn't see me and I pulled my dick back out from between the railings.

Follow the thread, goddammit.

He posted BEFORE the request for gouts of white manflame toasting the sweaterpuppies to medium rare.

That doesn't make the lack of dude-dew-dipped decolletage any less lame.