It takes too long ...

Okay, a little back story: Up until a few weeks ago, I was a virgin (PLEASE do not check my age, I'm embarrassed enough). Anyway, my current girl knows that I'm horribly inexperienced.
Anyway, we've had sex a few times and one oral a few times. My expectation is that I was going to go off like a shaken up chapange bottle. This has not proven to be true.
Instead, while sex is great, the few times she's gone down on me, its taken e forever to get off. I'm talking about 15 to 20 minutes. Now, I don't have a lot of experience (any) on how long this is supposed to take. I know when I jerk off it takes about ten minutes or so, depending how easy I play it. I should point out that she's GOOD at going down on a guy, and I'm somewhat embarrassed that it takes me as long as if does.
Is this perioid of time normal? If not; what's the matter? I don't want her to think that she's doing a bad job (which she isn't) but it seems to take forever to get me off.

It could be that you're too "physiologically jaded". If you've been taking matters into your own hands, you've probably got your orgasm down to a rather efficient process, and anyone who isn't part of that process could be coming up short.

Stop masturbating for, like, a month, and it might help.

Also, you know, relax. If you're freaking out about how long it takes you to get off, you're going to be thinking about that instead of the hot-lovings you're experiencing, and that won't help.

There is nothing to be embarrassed of for one thing. Your sexual history is just that, yours. There are stereotypical standards on when or how something is supposed to happen, but bottom line is, if you're comfortable with who you are, that is all that matters.

If you masturbate on a regular basis, and hell even if you don't, you're never really going to "blast off like a shaken up champagne bottle". The way the male gender is built, it's not impossible to ejaculate with some force, but not quite that extent. If anything, lack of ejaculation will cause your load to be thicker and there will be more ejaculate.

I don't know how to explain it, but getting head from a girl isn't the most exciting thing to me. Don't get me wrong, i do like it, but it just doesn't excite me as much as other things. I rarely cum from getting oral. It's not that she isn't doing it right, it's more i guess a mental mindset. I am not excited by it and it takes a very long time to get me off because of that.

There really is no standard period of time as each of us is different. I personally think your mindset has a lot to do with it. Relax and enjoy the feeling and what is going on rather than concentrating on the clock and why you haven't gotten off. Play with her girly bits while she is giving you head to keep your mind on the subject at hand. Communicate with her what you like and dislike, what feels best and do it in a way that isn't insulting to her. You know your body better than she does, you know what feels better.

Most of all have fun with her. In my mind sex shouldn't be this serious bizness event in which no one smiles and everything needs to be attended to. Relax, have fun, enjoy your time with her.

maybe you've just got a long fuse, man. i'm pretty sure if it ever took me 10 minutes to finish jerking off, i'd drift off to sleep before i finished.

and yeah, like Elichrusos said, try cutting back on the self-abuse. i was once stationed at a particularly remote base for a while, and i got in the habit of spending a lot of time in the shower. when i finally clawed my way back to a more civilized post, i had some of the same issues you're describing. i also noticed that sex just wasn't as fun, for a while--nothing felt as intense as it should. the first time i got laid, when i got back, wasn't nearly as good as the next few times.

and... every girl's different, in bed, so i can only assume that every guy is different, too. don't get too hung up on having a 'normal' sex life. there's no such thing.

Thanks for the advice, guys. I really do appreciate it (wow, I made a drunk post a didn't totally embarrass myself last night. Now _THAT_ is amazing ) I think what has been bothering me, is that my girlfriend seems a bit dissapointed it takes that long. I've been trying to let her know what works well for me (and, thank god, she's not the type to get offended by that) but at the same hand, I don't want her to feel bad about it either.
Besides, since I'm still pretty new on the entire sex thing, I was pretty sure I'd be going off like a shooken up bottle of champagne. I was rather startled when the opposite turned out to be the case!

Compliment her.

People in general like getting compliments and it makes them feel good. Disclaimer: This doesn't mean say something like "hey honey you suck a great dick!!

But tell her what you told us. That what she does to you and for you make you feel really, really good.

Don't be afraid to communicate your thoughts and feelings with her. You two have been intimate, you shouldn't fear much else at this point.

To be honest, if I was your girlfriend I would be thrilled that you last the time that you do (although more for sex than oral... a girl's neck can get sore ) Too many women (myself included) have in the past suffered from Schumachers, guys who essentially come as soon as they're in. This leaves no chance for the lady to enjoy herself. Although I am not against the occasional quickie I prefer my sex long and varied (both position and speed).
If you want to try and help your lady along with how long it takes you to come from oral sex, work yourself up a bit more before she goes down on you..... show her how you like to masturbate, teach her how you like it....
Anyway, this is just my thoughts, and congrats on cracking your cherry

Think about baseball.

That reminds me, baby: you suck a great dick!.

All good advice has been so far. Stop worrying and enjoy each other

Who has this fantastic penis?

Yo, DevilsReject, Imma let you finish, but Kanye sucks the greatest dick of all time. Of all time!

Pffft! I bet you say that to all the guys.

She hasn't said it to me . . . although now that you mention it, she did compliment my cigar moustache once.

Quit puttin' the pussy on a pedestal, man.

consider yourself lucky, many people have the problem of not lasting long enough!

Iv only ever came once from girls goin down on me. I always feel bad when they think they're doin somethin wrong.

After a couple of hours, I just give up. It's exhausting.

quitter

Getting off from a girl going down on you is difficult, at least for me. It helps if you "thrust" your hips a little as the girl is doing it, it can help. This feels weird at first because you feel like you're going to choke her, but even a slight thrust motion brings a guy closer to coming.

Also, not jerking off for a few days, not squeezing too hard while jerking off, and thinking about sex during it all help.

Usually guys have the opposite problem (at least during sex) so consider yourself lucky.

Thank fuck for that. I thought I was the only one.

It isn't uncommon to have to do something else after 20/30 minutes. For the record I love oral sex and can feel like I'm about to cum the whole time. Just something stops me going over the edge.

Take heart mate. At least you're not exploding before she's even stuck her chewing gum to the headboard.

Adding another girl might speed things along too.

I don't think 15-20 minutes is unreasonable at all. This is going back like 7 years ago but I used to go down on a guy that could take 45 minutes or more and i could cause him to have multiple orgasms without ejaculation for about 2 hours. Also, when I go down on other women i expect it to take a lengthly period of time. Has she been complaining? If not there is no reason to be embarassed. Also feel free to e-mail me with anything if you're comfortable at least 4 or so of my lovers wer e virgins