Waiting in Limbo - Relationship Advice

Hello All,
I need some advice to try to help squash some of my anguish.
I started dating this girl in the beginning of the year. We knew each other in high school for a minute but I moved away for college. (I'm 31 now so it's been a while).
Long story short we fell in love rather quickly and I thought she may be the one for me. So at the beginning of the summer she dumps me. She claims the reason is that she got in the relationship too fast after her last (two-three months), and stress from family problems. So she told me I'm wonderful but she just has a feeling it wasn't right. A feeling is all I could get out of her.
So my initial reaction was to just cut her off completely. I was rather pissed off that two months before she told me that it was the happiest she had ever been in a relationship, now she is dumping me. What the fuck?
So after cutting her off she convinced me to stick around and be her friend and we could go on some dates. This is not really happening. I've been keeping my distance to respect her space. She said she would call tonight and didn't.
So now I'm in limbo. Waiting for someone to comeback to me. I feel like a fool.

I don't know what to do.
Should I wait and continue to torture myself, or should I just cut her off and move on? I can't just be her friend. I'm in love with her. I could not possibly stand to see her with someone else.

Please give me some serious advice. -Jacob

You've been with her a handful of days, get over it, move on, quit sounding like some emo tween.

You are 31 and asking people online what to do?



Step 1:

Yup, I knew this was pointless. You two asshloes can go fuck yourselfs.

Thanks asshole. Go fuck yourself. I'm sure do mostly anyway.

i

Gringo said:
You are 31 and asking people online what to do?


Your right Gringo.. I should ask people to there face. So they don't give me snarky bullshit answers. Because if they did to my face I would knock their fucking head off. Fucking asshole.

Well, it's certainly possible the girl was turned off by your anger issues.

That isn't snark, by the way. I am being totally serious. You are kinda flippin' out for someone who has turned to a porn site for an answer to a life problem.

Put it in perspective.

Besides, I'm gonna point out the obvious here: We are only getting one side of the story. Without her point of view - everyone is guessing at best.

To give advice without being a prick. Her saying things didn't "feel right" could mean two things: 1. She started sleeping with someone else and the relationship that got serious quickly ended quickly or 2. She realized she didn't really love you and didn't want to be with you for the rest of her life.

She doesn't sound like the most emotionally stable person from what you describe so her plan to be friends and "date" once in a while is probably just a way for her to feel better about breaking up with you. Run away, nothing but trouble there.

Ok, rereading that I feel like I did come off like a prick, but I'm just giving an honest opinion and not busting your balls for posting this question on SG.

At the very least, you should probably take a break from each other for six months or so. Give her time to sort out whatever she may be dealing with from her last relationship.

If, after that length of time you both think there's something still there, then you can start fresh, and move at a pace she's comfortable with.

If there's nothing there after the break, then you can move on comfortably, or just move on now.

Good news ladies. He's single!

*makes popcorn

This isn't the PSFB thread? what a bogus link!

I don't aspire to find a woman that I think of as being "the one" rather I aspire to find the woman that I think of as being "the one" that I didn't fuck it up irrevocably with. No matter how "good" you are, being "good" doesn't replace being in a good relationship. That's just one of many mistakes you can make in order to fuck up your chance of being or staying in a good relationship.

So what if you are the biggest fool? Just get wiser.

Firstly, waiting around to "date" someone who dumped you isn't bright. Move on.

Secondly, why do guys do this? When someone dumps you, they've dumped you. Girls are often cruel, horrid creatures, and generally when they "confuse" you, it's because they're not woman enough to tell you the truth (which is usually that they want someone else... Sad but true). The fact that a woman gives a man hope of reconcilliation is either due to the fact that they're unsure if this new thing will work out, or they're too chicken to cut you off comepletely and hurt your feelings. It's odd to me that this is news to people, though... This is the way it's been for years, and it still comes as a shock. If you get dumped, own it, be sad about it, move on and get happier. No good can come from entertaining the idea that someone who took the time to cast you off might be worth more of your valuable time and feelings.

See here.

Also, self control is nice.

You've been a member of this site for 6 years. HOW did you think this would go well?

Also...I bought you a magazine subscription. The first issue should arrive any day now:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

my favorite part is how he takes the time to make a new post for every response. it's nice to see someone put that level of craftsmanship into their internet fale!

He's the Norm Abram of message board suckdom.

yep. move on... your just a booty call for her now. Unless your ok with that?

Move on and stop fucking up HER life.
Major anger issues
And possibly living in mom's basement.

His-terry-call.

Move on...or don't move on. Move on....or don't. Nah, move on.