Sex Talk

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6/29/09
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TheRevolutionary

TheRevolutionary

San Diego, CA
June 2004

MAY 08, 2009 10:14 PM

mactarnahans said:

Shalome said:

mactarnahans said:
standing guard on post in iraq, i felt the need to get a nut off while watching my sectors of fire, pulled out a crumbled picture torn outta a maxim mag, went to town, and the sergeant of the guard walked up to my post and walked right back out , told me to keep my eyes on look out. needless to say i didn't finish. i wonder how stupid i look, with rifle at my side and wearin a flak and kevlar, one glove off holding a shitty magazine photo. i think it was that sofia chick from the new bond movie/hitman.



"Hi, I can't stop masturbating long enough to do my taxpayer-funded job." You make this country proud, soldier. You make this country proud.



I guess not. Fuck it though shame on me. Its not like I did my time there and i'll be right back over in another 6 months.



It was probably in poor taste to do that then, but I hardly would say you deserve to be ostracized for it. Other than that mistake, I'm sure you are a fine soldier, and I am proud.

Chrysis

Chrysis

SUICIDEGIRL

Ohio, USA

JUN 17, 2009 06:35 PM

My mom stood outside my door [I didn't have a door, technically, but a curtain in the doorway.. at our old house] thinking she was listening to me and my ex fooling around or having sex. But really, it was just me. And afterwards, she said something snarky or clever about him having to go / not being allowed back .. us being caught or in trouble. Something.

And there was a big dramatic pause, because I realized what she'd clearly just heard, and that I'd have to out myself. And I was like. "Yep. Um, .. well. He went home about two hours ago. .. Just me in here. :/"

She poked her head in to verify, and .. poked her head right back out. Hahahaha. biggrin

min

min

I'm lost
June 2009

JUN 18, 2009 07:49 AM

Chryseis said:
My mom stood outside my door [I didn't have a door, technically, but a curtain in the doorway.. at our old house] thinking she was listening to me and my ex fooling around or having sex. But really, it was just me. And afterwards, she said something snarky or clever about him having to go / not being allowed back .. us being caught or in trouble. Something.

And there was a big dramatic pause, because I realized what she'd clearly just heard, and that I'd have to out myself. And I was like. "Yep. Um, .. well. He went home about two hours ago. .. Just me in here. :/"

She poked her head in to verify, and .. poked her head right back out. Hahahaha. biggrin



That's great! Who was more embarrassed your mom or you?


min

min

I'm lost
June 2009

JUN 18, 2009 08:07 AM

Not too long ago my wife and my sister went for "girl's day", so I'm jacking it to some shitty porn and they fucking both walk in on me with my dick in my hand. None of us knew what to do. They froze, I ran to the bed room but left the fucking porn on. They fucking died laughing and still make a production of coming back from girl's day. I have faithfully gotten a call from my wife telling me they'll be home about 15 minutes before the arrive...lol


blackeyed
I'll never live it down.

Chrysis

Chrysis

SUICIDEGIRL

Ohio, USA

JUN 18, 2009 08:09 AM

min said:

Chryseis said:
My mom stood outside my door [I didn't have a door, technically, but a curtain in the doorway.. at our old house] thinking she was listening to me and my ex fooling around or having sex. But really, it was just me. And afterwards, she said something snarky or clever about him having to go / not being allowed back .. us being caught or in trouble. Something.

And there was a big dramatic pause, because I realized what she'd clearly just heard, and that I'd have to out myself. And I was like. "Yep. Um, .. well. He went home about two hours ago. .. Just me in here. :/"

She poked her head in to verify, and .. poked her head right back out. Hahahaha. biggrin



That's great! Who was more embarrassed your mom or you?




We both went the denial route.. I didn't go downstairs for the rest of the night, etc. UNFORTUNATELY, I've heard way worse from her, .. so I really didn't have much to be embarrassed about. puke

min

min

I'm lost
June 2009

JUN 18, 2009 08:11 AM

Chryseis said:

min said:

Chryseis said:
My mom stood outside my door [I didn't have a door, technically, but a curtain in the doorway.. at our old house] thinking she was listening to me and my ex fooling around or having sex. But really, it was just me. And afterwards, she said something snarky or clever about him having to go / not being allowed back .. us being caught or in trouble. Something.

And there was a big dramatic pause, because I realized what she'd clearly just heard, and that I'd have to out myself. And I was like. "Yep. Um, .. well. He went home about two hours ago. .. Just me in here. :/"

She poked her head in to verify, and .. poked her head right back out. Hahahaha. biggrin



That's great! Who was more embarrassed your mom or you?




We both went the denial route.. I didn't go downstairs for the rest of the night, etc. UNFORTUNATELY, I've heard way worse from her, .. so I really didn't have much to be embarrassed about. puke




that's just
wrong!

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