Most off the wall, caught masturbaiting stories

Got caught by an ex sprawled out on the couch watching skinamax, i jumped up and tripped falling into the glass coffee table.


Go.

The age old situation. I can't imagine this story is any more typical and routine.

I was discovered by my mother when I was around thirteen masturbating on my bed to a Playboy magazine. The model was the typical breast implant blonde. One of my friends had stolen the magazine from his father. I forget why Mom felt compelled to enter my room at the time. She acted supremely uncomfortable, realizing immediately what I was up to, and ran out of the room. I was so mortified that I agonized over what had just happened for nearly an hour.

In future I made a point to always lock the door.

When I was a youngin', I used to watch The Outer Limits on Saturday nights around 10 or 11pm. I'd always talk it up to my dad, tell him about the last ep and tell him he should watch it.

One night, I was in bed watching it, and decided to try to get one off during the commercial break. Unfortunately, halfway through, there was a knock on my door. I pulled up the covers to my neck and was like "What???" It was my dad. He chose this one night to come in to watch The Outer Limits with me and sat on the side of my bed. I kept the covers up high, so he probably just thought I was sleeping without a shirt on. I don't think he caught on at all, but it was the most excrutiating, nerve-wracking 20 minutes of my adolescence.

HA!!!!

My only time getting caught was by my brother when I was like 11. I don't know if it was technically masturbating. But I was playing with myself for sure. We lived in a crappy trailer and my bedroom didn't have a door on it and he was walking down the hallway to go to the bathroom.

I remember the first time I caught my man looking at porn on the internet whacking it. He was soooo embarrassed. It was cute. I can't believe he thought I'd be mad about it. He's always known that I look at porn all the time. I've caught him a few other times since then. I always feel bad. I wouldn't want someone to interrupt me.

Isn't this what fmylife.com is for?

My dad always referred to embarrassing moments oh note as
"more embarrassing then getting caught playing with yourself in the shower"


My first wife broke the nozzle on the showerhead while i was at work. Wish I coulda video'd that.

One time said same woman came home from work early while I was on my lunch hitting the bong and wacking it to this chick on a workout infomercial. So as I'm using her underwear as a catch she walks in. Freaks out cause they were expensive from Fredrick or some shit. The sad ending to that, not enough time for a nooner before having to go back to work.


GO

This one time I was trying to get this worm on the hook when ZING friend caught me off guard!

standing guard on post in iraq, i felt the need to get a nut off while watching my sectors of fire, pulled out a crumbled picture torn outta a maxim mag, went to town, and the sergeant of the guard walked up to my post and walked right back out , told me to keep my eyes on look out. needless to say i didn't finish. i wonder how stupid i look, with rifle at my side and wearin a flak and kevlar, one glove off holding a shitty magazine photo. i think it was that sofia chick from the new bond movie/hitman.

Those are all pretty awesome stories, and I being in the military can't top getting caught whackin in on guard. But me and my brother used to share a room and his buddy walked in on me, i didnt know.. so he went and got my brother and his girlfriend at the time.. his buddy and girlfriend were pretty quite about it when they saw but my brother was said something to the affect of "WHAT THE FUCK! THAT"S MY FUCKING COMPUTER, MY FUCKING MOUSE! DONT FUCKING TOUCH IT"! It sucked I felt like crawling in a hole in dying.. I finished off none the less. Assholes.

My friend was going shower at my house and then we could hangout and go out for lunch.
I needed something in the bathroom (comb) and I was like its right there on the counter.
He's been in the shower for like 15 minutes and I'm like oh -k- it should be safe...
Or so I thought.
I open the bathroom door and he is rubbing himself against the edge of the counter, splashing water onto himself from the sink which I can't figure out why I didn't here it.
We had a weird moment of silence and then I told his brother about it and his brother told his mom...
Funny for me, not for him.
I kinda felt bad about it.

"Hi, I can't stop masturbating long enough to do my taxpayer-funded job." You make this country proud, soldier. You make this country proud.

I have an identical story, except it was my grandmother that caught me. As she walked away I heard her say, "stop abusing your body like that!"

BINGO!
Expect she didnt say that, She just stared alittle which made any eye contact after that AWWWWKWARD

this thread should get more play. i would participate, but i have never been caught.

Though there are better times to play with yourself, keep in mind us military members pay taxes as well so we actually pay some of our own salary. Sometimes that is the only time we get alone while in the "Sandbox".

I've been busted a couple times but I wasn't really that embarressed, just felt stupid for being dumb about it. The last time I got caught I was trying to squeeze one in before band practice. My bass player called to say he was coming over so I knew time was short... things didn't go quickly and he walked right into my apartment. We awkwardly made eye contact for a moment and he yelled "BUSTED!" at me. It was kinda funny.

I have a much better story happen to a good friend of mine. He came over to my apartment wasted drunk a little after 2am. We were drinking for a while and he went to use the bathroom. About an hour later I noticed water leaking into my hallway. I opened the bathroom to find my friend (I will call him Mr. H) passed out on the floor, dick in hand, covered in shampoo with the shower on and the drain closed. I turned off the water threw a hand towel over his junk and called it a night.

Finally, this isn't a wackin' story but it deserves a mention. About a year ago we had a party at my apartment during the course of which my roomie Serafina got beligerent. I awoke at 8 for work the next day, and when I opened my door to leave my room I was surprised to find Serafina passed out 100% naked, face up spread eagle position. I did what any good roomie would do and took a picture, left her as she was and went to work.

Hehe. My ex's dad walked in one time while I was giving my ex a BJ. I was like 16 or 17. His dad later asked if I swallow.

And I had another guy tied up completely naked and his cousin walked in. Do people not know how to knock?

I was caught masturbating in the disabled toilet at University once. There was someone in there at the time.

When I was 15 yo the family and I shared a cottage in France with some friends my parents has known many years. I thougt every one had left for a trip to town and thought I'd have a whank on the couch. Unfortunately my moms friend had not left along with the others and walked in on me. I did not notice her before she said something like "Ooops, I see your grown man soon" and then left to sunbathe topless beside the pool. I was baffled and did not know what to do. I ended up not finishing of and did not look her in the eyes for the rest of the day. She never did tell my parents and afterwards it has been a fond memory when masturbating.

This could have been an awesome Penthouse letter if you were "18" and didn't end it with an awkward fizzle.

I had my brother walk in on me once. It was morning, and when I got out of bed I would check my email, check the news, masturbate (okay, so I really only did one of those). I felt like looking at hentai was less bad than looking at real porn, so I had some weird tentacle picture up and he walks in. I'm in my chair, and he cant' see, so I try to put myself away. He comes up close to see what I'm looking at, gets close to see the screen. He stares at me in horror, then looks down to see my hand still in my pants. He runs away quickly, slamming the door.

It wouldn't of been so bad if he didn't try to talk to me later. "I told dad that you were touching myself. He said it was normal, and wants to talk to you about it. I didn't tell him what you were looking at. Brother, what's wrong with you?"

Exactly ..It could have been a good story had the ending been different. Instead I was totally embarrased and did not dare to look at her bare breast. In retrospect I should have taken advantage of the situation.. Well at least finishing off looking at her.

..But I did not.

I guess not. Fuck it though shame on me. Its not like I did my time there and i'll be right back over in another 6 months.