Homosexuality does not exist.

wow. i'm sorry you're faced with that sort of discrimination, especially here. and yeah, it does seem just as shallow and narrow-minded and deplorable as the right-wing gay bashers.

I used to hang out with a bunch of people who believed there was no such thing as bisexuality, and that while you could "mess around" as much as you wanted, you still had to "choose" at some point. So yeah, these people are douchebags and I'm sorry to hear that you have to put up with this kind of bullshit.

It ridiculous the amount of shit that's piled on people based purely on who they like to show their naughty bits to.

Oops, double post.

I just talked about this with a friend of mind who is convinced bisexuality does not exist. I'm a straight male, so this isn't exactly something I have "first hand" knowledge of but that post was fucking amazing. Props to you.

Everyone looks at sexuality differently and I think that putting us into groups of gay, straight, bi, or whatever just furthers stereotypes and creates a puritanical culture. Hell, I've even had people tell me that I'm not "completely" straight as if they know more about my sexuality then I do. If something turns you on then go for it, and if you aren't turned on then don't pretend to be. I also feel that many people play up certain aspects of their sexuality just to fit in. This is especially true with bisexuality... just look at "mainstream" porn and that probably leads to the stigma which you were talking about.


*shrug* like I said, this is not something I know much about, but people saying "bisexuality doesn't exist" piss me off because it has always tripped my "holier then thou asshole" alarm. Your sexuality is your own fucking business (literally) and if someone wants to tell you you're "confused" or in some way wrong about your sexuality then they can blow it out their ass. That's the exact same shit the religious fanatics do and it isn't right, isn't logical, and only serves to proverbially shit on social progress.

Good post, I'm glad someone spoke up.

I've noticed this happening more and more recently. While I personally care less about someone's sexual orientation, it surprises me to see a lot of this arguement coming from the gay community. You'd think there would be a bit more sensitivity there, I guess. I suppose part of the arguement is rooted in the fact that the arguers seem only able to see one side of the coin at a time. They are thrown off by their own strong attraction to men or women, believing that you cannot have that strong attraction for both without a weaker one present. I've heard other arguements that claim bisexual people are simply hypersexual, driven by various over-active pleasure centers and needs for attention. I don't believe a word of it. I have seen the same individual have an equally loving and lasting relationship with both men and women over many years, and hold that as proof that it's not just about getting off, or being deviant, or whatever.

Sorry that you have to put up with this type of thing. Nobody deserves to be judged based on sexuality.

I didn't realize I'd said all those things! I had no idea I'd even thought them!

You go Morrigan! I hear that from so many people, that we have to choose just to be with a man or just with a woman is stupid. If it makes you happy, be with whomever the hell you want to be with. Why is it anyone elses business what we choose to do and who we choose to do it with?

I've never quite understood why people will argue about someone ELSE'S sexual preferences.

"i like both genders."
"no, you don't"

what?

I hear this sort of thing said about bi dudes pretty often, but have never had anyone personally express that sort of skepticism towards me (full disclosure- outside of check-box surveys, I have never identified myself as "bi" b/c I hate the term, and choose to leave my proclivities up in the air and let friends/family figure it out for themselves, but I can't think of anyone I know who isn't aware I enjoy both sides of the coin and all the varities inbetween.) I assumed though, that since it has been "fashionable" for about a decade now, that the amount of ignorance on the subject is dwindling-
...
Anyway- hearing about this sort of thing makes me think of the
article the NYTimes did a story a while back about preference vs. orientation-

Amen to that, it is the person that we are attracted to.

Much of this argument depends on whether you think someone is exclusively homosexual---whether they're that elusive 6 on the Kinsey Scale. And I have known many who believe that they are, even though Kinsey himself thought that absolute heterosexuality or absolutely homosexuality as natural states were extremely rare.

Human sexuality is so subjective and in my opinion, it's always in a state of flux. My sexual orientation has gravitated more towards women and less towards men over time, but this is mainly a result of the fact that I tried dating men and found I simply couldn't feel comfortable with them. I still find men appealing, but only as sexual partners and not as anything lasting.

Sometimes I feel like the bisexual label is kind of like... Some sort of stamp that I'm attention-seeking and that I'll sleep with anyone. That if you call yourself a lesbian, you're making some sort of political statement, but if you call yourself bisexual you're basically just letting everyone know that you're up for a good time. I guess I've really internalized the biphobia that's out there... I don't really believe that labeling yourself as a lesbian should necessarily have to be some sort of political act- I guess I just wish my sexual orientation was given as much respect as the rest of the queer continuum (as marginal as it may be at times). I don't know. When I'm coming out to people, I usually just say it in context of someone I'm seeing, or was dating in the past, basically- describe my dating history as being with both men and women and let them label me as they please.

Thankfully all of my friends (of all sexual orientations) are all really open and understanding. I think something that helped me explain my sexuality and the whole "choosing" thing to my lesbian friends (in particular) was this: If I'm lucky enough to find someone I want to be with the rest of my life and commit to them, I will still be bisexual. If it's a woman, great, if it's a man, great. I don't care. I'll be faithful to them, but I won't be dead- like when they find the woman of their dreams, they will still be attracted to other women- they just won't be able to act on it unless they have an arrangement that makes that OK. I'll always be attracted to both women and men.

And there's this group as well; though not directly relevant.

I think part of the problem are the fake bi-girls. The "Look at me! I'm making out with this girl because I'm drunk/my guy friends think it's cool!". I remember someone telling a story about hooking up with a girl, making out for a while, but as soon as this person went to go down her pants the girl said "I'm bi, not gay". What?

"I kissed a girl and I liked it!"