Real Dates

I've been sitting by the phone waiting for you to call me!

because we're living in the 1950s more than we'd like to admit.

Look, I agree on the need to evolve, but let's not be so disingenuous as to claim everything is a marketing scheme. Cross-culturally, women tend to prefer men they see as good providers, hence the love of a good warrior/hunter/sportscar driver/drummer, just as men tend to prefer women who physically look most fertile. It's how we think genetic sexes developed to begin with - two reproductive strategies that offered significant advantages.

We've also figured out that it's a lot more complicated than that, and that our modern world is making these evolutionary strategies somewhat obsolete, but these strategies are easily millennia old, and not so easy to repel with smugness.

I just read a paper on this. It was specific that it was about white middle class men and women.

In the 1950's up until the mid 1970's women's self-help books advised women to act shy, without being shy, in order to give men the feeling that they (the men) are bold. Women were also advised not to reveal their intelligence. Instead they were suppose to encourage the boy to talk talk talk. They were supposed to perform this way all through the first date.

In the mid 1970's when feminism was even pop-culture, the tone changed and women were told to be aggressive. Also mutual self disclosure was the ingredient to success but it was up to women to generate this in men.

The argument of the paper was that the 'emotional-work" burden on women had merely shifted, which is a different issue from "where is male chivalry in dating". It was just interesting that you ask for men to perform more, by being chivalrous in dating, like they did in the 1950's and this paper expresses how much more performative it was for women then.

I've been on a few, though many of the girls later insisted, after that fact, "that was not a date," so whatever I guess.

While I think it's great to have those kind of dates every once in a while, I don't believe they are necessary.

I think women of today (modern times) are much more independant and strong. Thus, the 1950's style dating would not work for them.

Hey everyone,

I'm a total amateur at dating, but I'm gonna ask a girl out pretty soon and need some opinions.

I was thinking of picking her up and getting sushi or something casual and then just going to some bars or playing pool or something. Is a short meal and night on the town like this something that girls would be in to?

I mean, I know that since none of you are the girl in question this isn't something that you can answer, but is it a good mix of the casual hanging out date that everyone seems to enjoy and the uptight 50's style date that everyone seems to hate?