How to determine a lasting relationship

An ideal husband

Yeah, someone who's been celibate their entire life, that's who I'm going to for advice, right after I go to the witch doctor about this cancer thing I've got going.

As a former catholic, I never understood that. It's like taking your car to the bank for a checkup.

I found half of it to be common sense... but it has been proven to be not so common any more.

The part about people not changing ... can't argue with that.

or perhaps it's more like going to a basketball coach for advice on how to improve your game. lots of great coaches can't actually play--they just know how to help other people play better.

Yeah, but most coaches at least, you know, played the game at one time.

Most of it is fair enough. I'm a little hesitant to fully ascribe to this bit though:
"Take a good, unsentimental look at his family and you'll learn a lot about him and his attitude towards women."

Perhaps I met a couple of exceptions to the rule, but I've been seriously involved with a couple of really great men in my life whom I would've totally discounted if had followed this advice. Apples can fall far from the tree from what I've seen. Family's one factor to consider, but a fellow's day to day actions are far more telling than anything.

many have. and it's certainly true that you could do worse than ask for relationship advice from someone who has had a lasting relationship. but it's also true that some people are sensitive, empathic, and intelligent. such a person is likely to have good advice on almost any subject, regardless of whether or not they have direct personal experience in it.

Easiest way to tell is if they've managed to escape from the dungeon if they have then it's just not going to last

It depends. If you lace their food so they go into withdrawal after they;ve been out a few hours, they'll come back.

Bah, just rate your partner's susceptibility to post-hypnotic suggestion. If it's reliable, they're a keeper.

He's the best boyfriend Handrea ever had!!

If you blow chunks and she stays, it was meant to be.

Fabergé egg ingulfing?

Maybe he just belonged to 750 porn sites.

How many times do you really need to see people naked a day?

Ooooo... I see you're screwed in the sense of humor department. The celibate priest says no lasting relations for you.

Shit! No wonder I'm not married

The kind that meets you in hotel rooms and performs live?