Sex Talk

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SnakePlissken

SnakePlissken

Corvallis, OR
December 2002

JUL 03, 2008 05:27 PM

That's the question that came to mind this morning while I sat idly at the local DMV. The inspiration for such a query was the rather unkempt middle aged man seated directly across aisle and to the left of my position. At the peripheral edge of my view, he dug and readjusted for a solid forty seconds; a length of time which I felt danced with the border between maintenance and onanism. I thought of submitting the notion to him that, given the length of time spent at the task, whatever was causing such irritation was gone forever or there to stay but I held my tounge. Was I wrong to judge? And if so what is an acceptable upper limit for such a chore? Is there a direct or inverse relationship to torque applied?

unravled

unravled

Portland, OR
August 2003

JUL 03, 2008 05:44 PM

Thirty-eight seconds. It's true. I read it somewhere.

scoutslayer

scoutslayer

Yukon, OK
November 2002

JUL 04, 2008 01:32 AM

hmm, i'm gonna have to say 3~5 seconds if someone needs more then that readjust/itch then they can go to the restroom, or at the very least someplace that isn't in the blantant view of the public. but, this is just my opinion

ElizaTheTroll

ElizaTheTroll

Australia
January 2006

JUL 04, 2008 03:01 AM

It depends on whether they're hot.

Tiger_Fodder

Tiger_Fodder

Braintree, MA
June 2007

JUL 04, 2008 07:28 AM

If you are near teenage girls, 5 seconds. Otherwise 3 minutes should suffice.

cpkz

cpkz

Portland, OR
September 2006

JUL 04, 2008 08:00 AM

After a series of tests on myself, I'm going to have to say 7 seconds is just way too long.

Bill_the_Cat

Bill_the_Cat

Vanier, ON
May 2005

JUL 04, 2008 09:47 AM

In my experience a 2 minute break is usually required to go beyond 11 minutes, though I know a marathoner who has done 24 minutes straight. I don't He doesn't recommend it, though.

r00kers

r00kers

Nederland, CO
February 2003

JUL 04, 2008 03:16 PM

Repackaging should be done deftly and discretely. Anything more is careless/exhibitionist/onanistic. Of course, if the aforementioned is your goal, have at it matey.

_margot_

_margot_

Los Angeles, CA
December 2007

JUL 04, 2008 03:36 PM

About twenty five seconds.

Repackaging would perhaps be another fifteen seconds.

antipaladin

antipaladin

Italy
March 2005

JUL 05, 2008 01:00 AM

Depends on a number of factors: ball size, type, shaved status, current undergarment, current overgarment, ambient temperature, relative humidity, casual vs. work evironment, number of onlookers, current position of the package, desired position of the package, belt type, current seating arrangement, and whether or not you're hung like a moose.

... Not that I've ever given this some thought...

Necrosis

Necrosis

Australia
January 2006

JUL 05, 2008 01:29 AM

We can argue about times all we want, but it's all about the context here. Sitting at a table, where the overhang means that those around you can't actually see you putting your hand down there and doing it, yeah that's acceptable. But sitting there completely in the open? That's just not kosher.

Time, while an issue, is not as pressing as just how open and visible your reasdjustment is. My $0.02.

d_day

d_day

San Bernardino, CA
July 2002

JUL 05, 2008 01:38 AM

3 strokes.

Scotty

Scotty

SUICIDEGIRL

Australia

JUL 07, 2008 05:46 AM

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha

adam_vincent

adam_vincent

Austin, TX
November 2002

JUL 07, 2008 10:40 AM

antipaladin said:
Depends on a number of factors: ball size, type, shaved status, current undergarment, current overgarment, ambient temperature, relative humidity, casual vs. work evironment, number of onlookers, current position of the package, desired position of the package, belt type, current seating arrangement, and whether or not you're hung like a moose.

... Not that I've ever given this some thought...



belt type? no.

hk85

hk85

Guerneville, CA
October 2007

JUL 07, 2008 12:36 PM

From what I've seen, 40 seconds is well under the limit for the DMV. It is however, well over the limit for the produce section of the supermarket, or standing in line at the bank while the image is being broadcast on the security TV's.

KellyAnne

KellyAnne

United Kingdom
May 2008

JUL 07, 2008 12:45 PM

If you got an itch, scratch. Better out than in... so just do it, if it is 1 second or whatever you are comfortable.

DevilsReject

DevilsReject

Cleveland, OH
February 2007

JUL 07, 2008 12:53 PM

duh.

It's age based.

Infancy to 5 years old: You're genitals are a new toy, you have the right to play with them until mom says "stop playing with your penis"

5 years old to 18 years old: Once the newness wears off. 15-20 Second increments, timed well apart to correct any package details.

18-50 years old: One second is added for every five years that you're alive. (i.e: If you're 18 you're granted 20 seconds, at 23 you're granted 21 seconds)

50-70 years old: You've hit the limit, the max time allowed to re-adjust when you hit 50 years old, at this age though we tolerate some overtime......some is the keyword.

70- ? : Christ you've been on the planet long enough to be able to readjust as long as you want, or until your homecare nurse says "stop playing with your penis"

It's the circle of life.

DCruz

DCruz

Montreal-nord, QC
November 2006

JUL 08, 2008 08:57 PM

antipaladin said:
Depends on a number of factors: ball size, type, shaved status, current undergarment, current overgarment, ambient temperature, relative humidity, casual vs. work evironment, number of onlookers, current position of the package, desired position of the package, belt type, current seating arrangement, and whether or not you're hung like a moose.

... Not that I've ever given this some thought...



I just lol'd to this... sounds like a science to me biggrin

Sydni

Sydni

SUICIDEGIRL

Washington, USA

JUL 08, 2008 09:00 PM

DevilsReject said:
duh.

It's age based.

Infancy to 5 years old: You're genitals are a new toy, you have the right to play with them until mom says "stop playing with your penis"

5 years old to 18 years old: Once the newness wears off. 15-20 Second increments, timed well apart to correct any package details.

18-50 years old: One second is added for every five years that you're alive. (i.e: If you're 18 you're granted 20 seconds, at 23 you're granted 21 seconds)

50-70 years old: You've hit the limit, the max time allowed to re-adjust when you hit 50 years old, at this age though we tolerate some overtime......some is the keyword.

70- ? : Christ you've been on the planet long enough to be able to readjust as long as you want, or until your homecare nurse says "stop playing with your penis"

It's the circle of life.



Your circle is sad. tongue

Quirky

Quirky

Birmingham, AL
October 2005

JUL 08, 2008 09:04 PM

A better question would be, "What is the max time limit for handling someone else's balls in public?"

Sydni

Sydni

SUICIDEGIRL

Washington, USA

JUL 08, 2008 09:05 PM

MisterLinguist said:
A better question would be, "What is the max time limit for handling someone else's balls in public?"



How public? Like under a table? A sexual encounter? A confrontation?

If it's a confrontation, it's until the asshole asks for his mama.

Sydni

Sydni

SUICIDEGIRL

Washington, USA

JUL 08, 2008 09:06 PM

Sydni said:

MisterLinguist said:
A better question would be, "What is the max time limit for handling someone else's balls in public?"



How public? Like under a table? A sexual encounter? A confrontation?

If it's a confrontation, it's until the asshole asks for his mama.



Under a table? Till my hand gets sticky.

Sexual encounter? Until I'm done with it.

DevilsReject

DevilsReject

Cleveland, OH
February 2007

JUL 08, 2008 09:39 PM

Sydni said:
If it's a confrontation, it's until the asshole asks for his mama.



*Mental Note*: My Sad Circle of life should definitely not include confrontation with Sydni


wink

Sydni

Sydni

SUICIDEGIRL

Washington, USA

JUL 08, 2008 09:43 PM

DevilsReject said:

Sydni said:
If it's a confrontation, it's until the asshole asks for his mama.



*Mental Note*: My Sad Circle of life should definitely not include confrontation with Sydni


wink



It's true. What a ninja can do with a wind pipe, I can do on pure outrage to your balls.

motorfirebox

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2004

JUL 08, 2008 10:11 PM

i'm... i'm so afraid!

as far as handling someone else's balls in public, if it's come to that, i'm not letting go until the police come pry me off. the time limit on my balls being handled in public is variable. if i'm not enjoying it, of course, the time limit ran out before contact was initiated. if i am enjoying it, well, again with the cops and the prying.

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