The Virgin Monologues

Okay so basically I'm a virgin. I'm eighteen and very anti-social, to the point of even rejecting other anti-socialites for awhile. I have a girl friend now (she's sixteen) and her mom doesn't like the idea of her dating me... now... she's loyal to her mother as far as rules go. It's a miracle she and I still talk (she banned her from ever seeing me again). Despite being in an open relationship, I'm not allowed to date anyone she knows (which discounts everyone I know because she introduced me to everyone I know). Yet her friend and I are verrry friendly.

Sorry about the biography there just thought I'd help you get to know my situation... okay now the question is... how is it that every one else is able to lose it so easily before they turn 18? I mean I haven't even seen a naked girl yet (in person at least...). I'm not a virgin by choice either, I consider chastity to be a vice rather than a virtue and lust to be a virtue rather than a vice.

One more thing you should know, I'm shy in person or on the phone so the only reason I'm ever dating is because she asks me out.

I'm just looking for some advice, I'd really appreciate it. (Although I'm sure I'll get some less than serious responses as well...)

Why does her mother not like you? If it's age, that's weird, as 18 and 16 are fairly normal.

Anyway, I find it odd that even with a girlfriend status on your relaitonship you are too shy to really talk to her. That seems like a criminally high level of shyness you might want to seek help about... there is a difference between being a wallflower and being incapable of normal human interaction.

As for getting laid, it sounds like you need to be patient with her. You ddin't really say why you haven't slept with her yet, so I will assume she just isn't ready? Or that you are unable to make a move on her? If she's not ready then, like I said, patience... if you care about her like you should then she should be worth the wait. If it's the incapable thing, that goes back to getting help I guess.

Lastly, why are you in an open relationship? That seems strange when you haven't even had sex yet... how can you truly know you can seperate love and sex when you haven't had love or sex yet? Are you sure your girlfriend wants to be in an open relationship? Maybe that's a reason she hasn't slept with you yet, it could be a trust issue.

Honestly, no offense, it sounds like neither of you are mature enough to know what you're doing. Sort out these feelings and get to the root of your shyness problem and maybe these things will work themselves out... a lot more people than you think wait until after 18 to lose their virginity.

Maybe you should work out why you're antisocial (like, with a doctor), and let the virginity thing work itself out.


Or hire a prostitute.

No my girl friend isn't so much the problem. She's the one with pants in the relationship. She prefers to be the initiator AND she prefers the open relationship. It's odd...

But whatever. As for the antisocial thing... I'm already seeing a doctor about it. She's got a lot of sexual relationships with girls and she's got some sexual tension with ONE other guy. Frankly I'm glad, I'm not the jealous type. Its not that I prefer it either way, I just don't care. She's had sex before, right now she's not allowed to see anybody cos her mother caught her a few times with her exes... and some other stuff...

I dunno it just gets stupider. I kissed (closed mouth) for the first time a month ago. That was pretty fun, eh I'm just hoping I can get some objective help here with out being criticized or anything. Thanks so far at least.

Useful.

Yep... I know nothing of the virgin group, but in dating sucks I think we're pretty good about being sensitive to these things, and a lot of people there have great advice to offer.

Thanks again guys.

"how is it that every one else is able to lose it so easily before they turn 18?"

Dude, I didn't even have my first kiss until I was 19 years old. Granted, I lost my virginity a mere week later, but still... Don't sweat it. Sex'll happen when it happens, and it's going to be fucking great when it does, but don't be in such a rush.

Eighteen and in El Cajon. I have a list for you.

You do need to see naked ladies. Try the Deja Vu at:
2720 Midway Dr.
San Diego, California 92110
(619) 224-4757

You will find lots of girls your age there.

And definately try Cheetahs at
8105 Clairemont Mesa Blvd
(858) 277-2339

Be sure to bring money.

A good place to meet girls in El Cajon is at Grossmont College. Or, drive up university to The Living Room. Or, downtown San Diego. Try Cafe Lulu. Yeah, boy.

Truth. You may also perchance have luck at a place like Lestat's, judging by your profile. Whatever the case, get the heck out of El Cajon.