I don't care what you do for a living, it's pretty evident you're kinda, well, a dick, and I wouldn't sleep with you, not even in the name of science (and I don't know any girl who would).

Also, I really hope you weren't drinking in the shop, because even if I lived in eastbumfuck where ever, I wouldn't let you tattoo me if you've been drinking in your shop... I would never let a "tattooist" tattoo me if they've been drinking.

And I also find it hard to believe that you "make a ton of money" tattooing in a city no one has ever heard of (forgive my lack middle of nowhere geography, but I'm not totally sure you're even near a major city), as well as finding 20 bitches to sleep with the 3 of you... Unless they were hookers from the best damn trailer park in town... Then maybe I'd believe it.

Seriously any guy who brags about 1) how much money he makes, and 2) how much pussy he gets in the same fucking sentence is an asshole and a liar.

That is all.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

theymademe

Kentwood, LA

November 2006

NOV 16, 2007 05:30 AM

Sid said:

Seriously any guy who brags about 1) how much money he makes, and 2) how much pussy he gets in the same fucking sentence is an asshole and a liar.

3) sitting around at 29 talking about how big his friends dick is.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Uncognitive

Brooklyn, NY

May 2003

NOV 16, 2007 06:27 AM

DevilsReject said:

Uncognitive said:

Elliot_Liberty said:
I don't get laid because of my looks or my "skillz". I get laid because of my job and how much money I make.

Wouldn't that factor outweigh the penile length and girth portions of your experiment?

I mean, be scientific man! Do you think your tattooed penii will make it through a peer review with such shoddy methodology?

X²(Y³ - Z)=Q

X = actual income (squared, as to increase actual number)

Y = actual penis size (cubed, as to increase actual size)

Z = intelligence

Q = Quality of sex for woman

It's all in the math man, it's all in the math. Haven't you ever watched Numbers?

"While it may seem random on the surface, if you apply advanced chaos theory to the data stream, you can actually plot out a pattern of penile size to repeat fuck-style business that not only measures both the size of the boat and the motion of the ocean, but in the abstract resembles the Fibonacci sequence".

Pudding

San Pedro, CA

June 2005

NOV 16, 2007 06:34 AM

ah n00bs, this thread has so many great examples of what not to do as a n00b that perhaps the staff should sticky it and make it into a tutorial

Martijn

Netherlands

July 2007

NOV 16, 2007 06:53 AM

Nah... this thread is small. Small I tell you...

Wait, anybody want to compare thread sizes?

No?

Pfff. I've bumped more threads than you guys anyway.

*walks away*

llama

Rosedale, MD

December 2004

NOV 16, 2007 07:58 AM

Pudding said:
ah n00bs, this thread has so many great examples of what not to do as a n00b that perhaps the staff should sticky it and make it into a tutorial

I would get pissed if this got stickied before this gem.

This thread really pisses me off. This gives scientists a bad name. I mean really, this is seriously shotty research. Did each girl experience all three subjects in the same order? Come on, the experience wouldnt be the same if, say, one girl had the 12" then the 5" then the 8", while another had the 5" then the 8" then the 12". The second girl wouldn't have the full shock of Mr. Massive Meat, she was being primed!

Plus, you completely failed to take GIRTH into account. What if Mr. Massive was skinny as a pencil, but the 5" dude was thick as a beer can?!

I wont even go into curvature or special features!

If you are going to do science, do it right, not this half-assed attempt at solving the riddles of the universe.

In closing, might I just say :

Kristie

Chicago, IL

December 2004

NOV 16, 2007 01:50 PM

wildswan said:

Elliot_Liberty said:
I've noticed the same two guys busting on me.

And they didn't even take you to dinner first.

Tisk tisk.

BAHAHA!

phrogg

Greenville, SC

August 2005

NOV 16, 2007 03:40 PM

KikiBH said:

wildswan said:

Elliot_Liberty said:
I've noticed the same two guys busting on me.

And they didn't even take you to dinner first.

Tisk tisk.

BAHAHA!

Same two guys??? By the time of that post I counted 27 different flames from different people. Now I'm seriously doubting the accuracy of the dick measurements...

It also makes me happy to see this thread is still alive!

zarth

Seattle, WA

December 2004

NOV 16, 2007 03:44 PM

phrogg said:

KikiBH said:

wildswan said:

Elliot_Liberty said:
I've noticed the same two guys busting on me.

And they didn't even take you to dinner first.

Tisk tisk.

BAHAHA!

Same two guys??? By the time of that post I counted 27 different flames from different people. Now I'm seriously doubting the accuracy of the dick measurements...

Or the number of girls involved. After all, if 2 equals 27 in Elliot_Liberty's world, then 20 probably equals one-and-a-third.

MrCrisp

I'm lost

August 2004

NOV 16, 2007 03:49 PM

Zarth said:

phrogg said:

KikiBH said:

wildswan said:

Elliot_Liberty said:
I've noticed the same two guys busting on me.

And they didn't even take you to dinner first.

Tisk tisk.

BAHAHA!

Same two guys??? By the time of that post I counted 27 different flames from different people. Now I'm seriously doubting the accuracy of the dick measurements...

Or the number of girls involved. After all, if 2 equals 27 in Elliot_Liberty's world, then 20 probably equals one-and-a-third.

one in two hands agrees: there was plenty to grab on to!

Kindle

Houston, TX

March 2006

NOV 16, 2007 03:57 PM

MrCrisp said:

Zarth said:

phrogg said:

KikiBH said:

wildswan said:

Elliot_Liberty said:
I've noticed the same two guys busting on me.

And they didn't even take you to dinner first.

Tisk tisk.

BAHAHA!

Same two guys??? By the time of that post I counted 27 different flames from different people. Now I'm seriously doubting the accuracy of the dick measurements...

Or the number of girls involved. After all, if 2 equals 27 in Elliot_Liberty's world, then 20 probably equals one-and-a-third.

one in two hands agrees: there was plenty to grab on to!

Ba da bing!

_panda_

I'm lost

November 2005

NOV 16, 2007 05:02 PM

This who damn thread has caused me to take a friggen ruler...

Yep, my bank account is bigger than my weenie!

So be it.

DevilsReject

Cleveland, OH

February 2007

NOV 16, 2007 05:09 PM

Uncognitive said:

DevilsReject said:

Uncognitive said:

Elliot_Liberty said:
I don't get laid because of my looks or my "skillz". I get laid because of my job and how much money I make.

"The quintessential subject of manhood in this theoretical situation is far from perfect. As flawed as the subject is, we can still triangulate and calculate a formula in order to save the thread. Using SIN, CoSINe and Tangent we can determine how far from superior the subject truly is. "

joker_

Minneapolis, MN

October 2005

NOV 16, 2007 05:44 PM

DevilsReject said:

Uncognitive said:

DevilsReject said:

Uncognitive said:

Elliot_Liberty said:
I don't get laid because of my looks or my "skillz". I get laid because of my job and how much money I make.

"If you put the 3 different penises in a box with a radioactive element that has a 50% chance of decay over a given amount of time connected to a vial of cyanide gas, are the penises alive or dead?"

RudieCantFail

Baton Rouge, LA

January 2006

NOV 16, 2007 05:49 PM

_panda_ said:
This who damn thread has caused me to take a friggen ruler...

Yep, my bank account is bigger than my weenie!

So be it.

Not mine.

That's not so much a statement about my schmekie, but rather my financial situation.

atomicant

Portland, OR

June 2003

NOV 16, 2007 06:10 PM

Elliot_Liberty said:
No, we all work at a tattoo shop. I know how big they are because I've put tattoos on both of there cocks.

um, weird. i'm pretty sure i wouldn't tattoo anyone's cock, especially a friend's. there are just somethings i don't need to know.

oyaji said:
Also, for the record, I make more money than everyone here. Just thought I'd mention it. I know how you all love that so much.

no, you don't.