Worst.Sex.Ever.

What was the worst? Mine was tame. My peen got kinda broke a little.

But it still works perfectly FYI!

I don't even count it as sex really. fucking whiskey.

Broken peens can kill you, FYI.

I feel your pain. Whiskey Dick sucks, and not in a good way. Thank heavens I blacked out.

I wish he'd blacked out and gone to sleep. poor fucker kept trying to "help me" after he lost it. It was sad.

My ex was totally not in the mood, she just wanted me to leave her alone so she could go to sleep. So she just bent over and be done with it.

I had a girlfriend who picked me up from work one night after she had gone to a banquet for her company's anniversary or something. She was ridiculously drunk and wanted to have sex. It was horrible. She was so sloppy and just out of it. I haven't had sex with a drunk girl since then.

No sex at all.

Whiskey Dick, Achewood style.

having sex with a guy in the dark, me trying to put lites on, him saying he didnt want to see me.

me crying. sex ended.

We'd been fighting, I'd been bad, and I was ecstatic that he'd shown up at my door to play nice and have make up sex.

When we were through, he leaned in close to whisper in my ear, "Over."

Then he left.

wow...mean people ftl

both of these stories make me sad

Girl who was determined to use me to lose her virginity... long story with that whole thing, but the actual experiance of the story was: She's an admitted wuss, but she's desperate to swipe the v-card, so she tells me to keep going, even though when I do, she keeps pushing me away with her thighs, yelling, and screwing her face up horribly. It felt like I was raping her, and I couldn't stay hard for the life of me. We went through so many condoms that she finally pointed out that she was on her period, so we did it without, getting blood all over the place, adding, once more, to the rape feeling.
...
And then she dumped me.

So the girl and I were really stoned. She hopped on and started fucking me like the Energizer Bunny, squirted 6 times all over me and then I came and squealed like a little girl!

Why was that the worst sex ever? The wet spot was on my side of the bed and I had to sleep in it.

I agree... Nobody does this shit to my friends...

I'm coming to visit you guys. And I'm brining shit from work...

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

and

I HATE having the wet spot on my side of the bed...
I think in the future, if I know I'm gonna squirt, I'm gonna climb on top of my bf... so it'll be on his side of the bed

MW2K2 said:

hoorayparade said:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Tinyhobo said:
having sex with a guy in the dark, me trying to put lites on, him saying he didnt want to see me.

me crying. sex ended.

connielingus said:
We'd been fighting, I'd been bad, and I was ecstatic that he'd shown up at my door to play nice and have make up sex.

When we were through, he leaned in close to whisper in my ear, "Over."

Then he left.

both of these stories make me sad

I agree... Nobody does this shit to my friends...

I'm coming to visit you guys. And I'm brining shit from work...

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

and

Mmm, delicious brined duct tape.

A while a go with some girl she just lay there and didnt do anything. Whilst in the middle of it I was actually thinking to myself ' I wonder what I have in the fridge to eat tomorrow'.

I'm not kidding

broke my dick. ouch. and it involved blood.......
went to the doctors, he had a look and said it may need plastic surgery!!! i said "Great!! add a couple more inches and maybe a glow-in-the-dark tip!?"

true story

but hey, it's all in tip top condition now.

With Marie-Thérèse of Austria, my first wife. I wouldn't have slept with her if it wasn't for France, the throne needed a heir.

I stronly advise against political sex, war is by far a funnier way to do politics. (I never wholly agreed to the word "felix" in the sentence "Bella gerant alii, tu felix Austria nube.")

having sex with an ex, I had just broken up with her and was not attracted to her at all anymore.
She really wanted to. I was not strong enough to tell her no.

Horrible, horrible feeling. Just our skin touching was horrible.
Too much bad emotional shit that went along with it.