boys say go!

That was kind of my idea. If she's making out with you that ferociously, chances are if you keep your patience and wit about you, good things are in your future. Maybe not at THAT exact moment, but eventually things will progress. Plus that's part of the fun, if you do everything right away it leaves nothing for the future! Gotta have something to look forward to!

Yes and no. I'm coming at this from the perspective that we just don't know. I'm also coming at this from the perspective that it doesn't really matter. Him being to quick or her being too slow aren't absolutes. They're both relative.

It's a totally valid position for either of them to take whether they should wait 10 minutes or 10 years or forever before fucking. The problem comes from them not agreeing about when that should be.

I believe its called "teasing" you make them want it but you aint gonna give it to em ;P

...girls do this to me all the time /sigh

I know guys who dig just heavy making-out. And the point has been brought up that it leaves excitement for later...something to look forward to...I totally agree. Sometimes, I want that high school make-out session, go home frustrated feeling again. It's refreshing.

Once you move past the age of 16, making out stops being the end and starts being the means. The reason making out was the end-all was because when it was so exciting and important, most likely you were a virgin. Making out was like having sex back in middle school. Once you lost your virginity, making out became a form of foreplay. And the people whose faces you'd be slurping at the age of 15, you're now kissing tenderly and passionately instead of sloppily and noisily, which is what "making out" is, at least in my estimation. So don't be shocked when guys expect making out to lead to sex. And if you don't want it to, just say so. Simple solution. =/

Look, this is my 2 cents.

I'm in the army, most of the time the closest thing I see to a full figure is a semi-stuffed sandbag. So you can imagine that when I do get out, I'd like a little affection. Problem is, not a lotta girls in my area want anything to do with a combat soldier. Fair enough, it's a rough life. So I've seen my share of getting-into-it-but-I-don't-really-wanna-start-anything make-out sessions.

Does it suck? Yeah.
Am I like "wait, what just happened here?" Yeah.
Am I stuck in a rather powerfully uncomfortable situation? Sure.

So what do I do? I man up, say thanks for a good time, figure lady luck dealt me a bad hand and head out into the fair night.

Look, the odds increase of you getting lucky if the lady is riding your Levis like a cheap rocking chair, but nothing in life is a sure thing. That's why they invented Vegas. People change their minds, get scared, whatever. That's life and it's a part of being human. You can't whine or fault someone for it.

So pull 'em up, be polite, head on out, check some porn and soldier on.

+ 1000

Ladies and gentlemen, the strongest argument I've heard for the armed forces in a number of years. *salutes*

If a guy is making out with you chances are roughly 100% that he would like to sleep with you. We are simple creatures that way. It's natural (for someone slightly immature) to assume that the other person who is acting just like me is also thinking just like me. This type of misunderstanding shouldn't alarm anyone. Of course if you remove his hand from your pants and he replaces it there, he's a criminal and should be treated as such.

Girls: guys who make out with you want to sleep with you. A small, underdeveloped portion of these are now expecting to sleep with you. Among those there are some will need to be maced, brass knuckled and/or prosecuted to get the point.

Guys: girls who make out with you want to make out with you. You may yet persuade them to sleep with you, but at this point you still need those tedious social skills in order to do so. And if you do convince them, for goodness sake be nice to them- the decision was theirs after all.

Not all of us "Govt types" are complete fuck wads. SOme of us actually think about shit.

And +1.

This guy hits it right on the head. The aforementioned Want vs Expect is a big deal. ANyone who thinks they're the same is a fucking idiot. Seriously. When I buy a lottery ticket, I WANT to win, I do not EXPECT to win. Same thing when making out with a pretty lady. I WANT it to go further, but am not going to be all butt hurt when it doesn't and call her a cock tease.

I rarely EXPECT it. And really only do if the girl has made serious "talk" in that direction or has hands that wander as much or more than mine. Even then, its not a given.

Like joual said, if it doesn't work out, try somewhere else. Or go jerk off. S'why god gave us Internet Porn.

And seriously, why do people have a hard time with understanding this?

Maybe you shouldn't engage in 'sloppy makeouts' until you have a fair idea that you can handle going further. Of course the other side is - what if you want to go further and find he doesn't, can you handle that?

Good stuff. The art of handling rejection really divides the men from the boys.

Another scenario that no-one has mentioned is maybe you just aren't turning her on. Maybe she's realized she's not getting wet like she expected to and/or doesn't think she's going to cum with you. In that case she should berespected for at least continuing to try get it to work out between you despite the lack of arousal.

That's all we are talking about here: how to handle rejection. Obviously no-one wants it.

A good starting point is remembering that everyone wants to have a good time.

Yet you still would behave the same. You go to the store, buy the ticket, and check the numbers.

And still, the comparison is weak, as there is nothing you can do to improve your chances of winning the lottery. For a better analogy, imagine you were trying to get a promotion at work. If you really want it, you certainly don't sit on your hands and think it'll be fine either way. You take action to improve your chances of getting the promotion. You try to convince the boss to give it to you. That might even involve confronting your boss. Jesus's promises aside, the meek seldom get anything.

Lets do context by expressing some assumptions.

If I get you right you are saying that despite the fact that women are frequently slower to arouse and that men are biologically more aggressive and easier to arouse, the exception exists that a woman may exhibit exceptionally poor behavior by repressing her arousal chiefly to manipulate a man into fulfilling some other sexless role for her. Is that correct?

I really don't think you get it. If I EXPECT something to happen and it doesn't, I'm upset. If I WANT something to happen, but it doesn't, meh, oh well. Seriously. Maybe I have some super power that allows me to differentiate, I dunno.

Regardless, this is becoming an argument of semantics, not a discussion of "Why the fuck do boys think I'll fuck them just because I let them stick a tongue in my mouth? F'Realz..."

I have absolutely no clue where anything you just said came from. I have said absolutely nothing even vaguely resembling any of that. That is so completely random and unrelated to anything I have said that I don't even know where to begin in correcting you

I wouldn't classify that as "wanting". If I want something, I'm going to be upset if I don't get it. As far as I know, that's part of what it means to want something. What you describe sounds more like vague disinterest.

I over-analyzed your defense of "wanting/expecting" for the sake of making my own different argument.

Pardon me. The truth is don't really know why you are bothering to analyze what seems like trivial distinctions to me.

This statement confuses me, because I'm the one saying that the distinction is trivial, not the other way around. Like I said, I consider only the actions to matter, not what someone else guesses the underlying motivation is.

Maybe the guy's actions are reasonable or maybe they're not, but from the OP, I don't see how anyone can make a good guess at which it is - largely because we are never given any example of his behavior.

Make it concrete.

Do you consider it acceptable for someone in a relationship to say (preferably less dryly than I do), "I think our relationship should include sex. I'm not satisfied with where we are now, and something needs to change for me to be happy"?

Can you imagine a situation where the other person would hear this and react poorly. If this person were no ready to start having sex, do you think they could take it as a personal attack and as a result end up ranting online about how demanding their partner is?

Do you see anything AT ALL in the OP that leads you to believe this scenario is less likely than the "jackass male pig" version?

Wow, I didn't expect so many responses! I've been in these two situations that have guided me to the SG forums with my question.

1. I'd been seeing this guy off and on for a while. We know each other and I like him and he likes me. We'd been fooling around for a while, but I wasn't ready for sex with him and I told him so. When I'd stop him short before things got too far, he'd get antsy and act irritated at me for giving him blue balls. Although I knew I shouldn't, I felt guilty. I know it's not my place to give in an orgasm.

2. I'd been on a couple of dates with this guy I sorta knew. I'd been to his place and we'd had kissing, and some foreplay. When I left his flat three times without "putting out", he got upset with me for being a "cocktease". Again, I sort of felt guilty, even though I'd made my limit clear to him verbally and physically.

I think the assumption should be that you AREN'T getting laid by your date. That way, you'll never be disappointed. If it happens, it happens. But if you try to make it happen and fail, don't get pissy about it. It's not my obligation to satisfy anyone's lust. Just because I've done it before with someone else doesn't mean I'll do it with you.

And yes, I do enjoy just making out.