boys say go!

Pardon the thread title- I've been listening to "The Complete Depeche Mode" lately.

But really... why is it that when kissing/touching happens, they expect sex/oral sex to follow and act like it's my duty to "follow up" with my "promised action"? Does anyone else have this problem?

It seems like they [the boys] want me to think I'm obligated to do more than enjoy sloppy makeouts. When I was younger, just kissing was "okay" and no more was expected. Now it seems like blowjobs and handshakes are on the same plane! Catch my drift?

P.S. Any suggestions? Saying "I don't want to blow you or sleep with you" seems a bit forward, and not all guys ask me for more, and what if I do end up wanting sex?

darn, i was coming in here for a DM dance party.

some people hold off for a little bit (minutes, hours, days) to see if the other person is a presumptuous jerk or not. how exactly is anyone supposed to know that you may or may not draw the line at "sloppy makeout" at some point?

omg...if i were to NOT whip it out, you'd want more. i'd start hearing, "am i not attractive?" or "do you like me?"

the lesson today, kids, is: whenever in doubt, whip it out.

Everybody expects to go just a step further when the heat is on! You'd be hard pressed to fined a girl who doesn't do it too!

Stop cruising for dates at the playground.

The call it "foreplay" for a reason.

Seconded.

To the lady .. it seems you want it both ways. You don't want to explicitly tell the guy that you don't want sex in case you do later, but you also want him to magically know that you just want to make out with him and not make a move when you may or may not want him to make a move?

The answer is simple - if you don't want the guy to go farther, tell him so. If you do, then don't stop him, or encourage him to bring it to the next level. Cut the "I don't want to hurt his feelings" stuff .. which is as manipulative and weak as the guy who tries to be "just friends" which the girl he actually wants to date because he's too chickenshit to make a move.

Fortune favors the bold, baby. The meek shall not inherit the earth, or much of anything at all.

After the denizens of the playground started posting, I take this back. I didn't realize there were so many immature, needy twits out there.

Making out does not "obligate" anyone to do anything. It is not an "implicit promise." Any guy who pretends otherwise is just wrong. Don't be shy about telling him to fuck right off. You're better off without him.

Seconded.

No, but I don't think she should be surprised if a dude tries for more. All she has to do is say no. If the problem is just that the dudes she makes out with whine about it afterwards well, she should find less whiny guys I guess.

It's perfectly reasonable to want more, but it's not reasonable to expect it as if by right. That's what she's complaining about.

Don't kiss them until later. I was accused by a girl once of possibly not liking women because I waited 3 dates to kiss her. I was just checking things out, no pressure. Sheesh.

Once we did finally make out, it was straight to the facials after that. She wonders later why I wasn't that into her. Well, I wanted to take it slow to see if you were worth it. If you want to take it fast, we can do that - but don't be disappointed when it's easy come, easy go.

Sorry, but I see no functional difference between wanting and expecting in this situation. Unless we're talking about attempted rape (which I don't think we are), expecting and wanting look pretty darned similar.

I think that it's not unreasonable to think that somebody who makes out with you will probably have sex with you.

Classy.

This is about a guy who honestly seems to thinks that just because a girl kisses him she's also required by unwritten law to put his dick in her mouth.

Thanks for your input. Frankly I could give a fuck.

Perhaps you should quit enjoying the smell of your own shit.

Classy. A hypocrite, too. Why don't you try it first, tell me how it goes.

Or not. Good bye.

So, functionally, how would those two guys act differently than one another?