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Neko_no_Tsuchi

Neko_no_Tsuchi

HOPEFUL

USA

SEP 05, 2007 11:48 AM

Pardon the thread title- I've been listening to "The Complete Depeche Mode" lately.

But really... why is it that when kissing/touching happens, they expect sex/oral sex to follow and act like it's my duty to "follow up" with my "promised action"? Does anyone else have this problem?

It seems like they [the boys] want me to think I'm obligated to do more than enjoy sloppy makeouts. When I was younger, just kissing was "okay" and no more was expected. Now it seems like blowjobs and handshakes are on the same plane! Catch my drift?

P.S. Any suggestions? Saying "I don't want to blow you or sleep with you" seems a bit forward, and not all guys ask me for more, and what if I do end up wanting sex?

TAFKASP

TAFKASP

Oakland, CA
June 2003

SEP 05, 2007 12:06 PM

darn, i was coming in here for a DM dance party.

Lucy

Lucy

SUICIDEGIRL

Yemen

SEP 05, 2007 01:02 PM

Neko_no_Tsuchi said:
Pardon the thread title- I've been listening to "The Complete Depeche Mode" lately.

But really... why is it that when kissing/touching happens, they expect sex/oral sex to follow and act like it's my duty to "follow up" with my "promised action"? Does anyone else have this problem?

It seems like they [the boys] want me to think I'm obligated to do more than enjoy sloppy makeouts. When I was younger, just kissing was "okay" and no more was expected. Now it seems like blowjobs and handshakes are on the same plane! Catch my drift?

P.S. Any suggestions? Saying "I don't want to blow you or sleep with you" seems a bit forward, and not all guys ask me for more, and what if I do end up wanting sex?



If they whip out their penis, just giggle madly until they put it away.

jason

jason

USA
August 2002

SEP 05, 2007 01:22 PM

some people hold off for a little bit (minutes, hours, days) to see if the other person is a presumptuous jerk or not. how exactly is anyone supposed to know that you may or may not draw the line at "sloppy makeout" at some point?

kthxbi

kthxbi

Gulf Breeze, FL
November 2006

SEP 05, 2007 02:03 PM

omg...if i were to NOT whip it out, you'd want more. i'd start hearing, "am i not attractive?" or "do you like me?"

the lesson today, kids, is: whenever in doubt, whip it out. biggrin

seanvegas

seanvegas

Lincoln, NE
December 2004

SEP 05, 2007 02:11 PM

Everybody expects to go just a step further when the heat is on! You'd be hard pressed to fined a girl who doesn't do it too!

Morgan

Morgan

SUICIDEGIRL

Illinois, USA

SEP 05, 2007 02:16 PM

Make them sign a "no whining" contract before you start kissing 'em!

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

SEP 05, 2007 02:21 PM

Neko_no_Tsuchi said:
Pardon the thread title- I've been listening to "The Complete Depeche Mode" lately.

But really... why is it that when kissing/touching happens, they expect sex/oral sex to follow and act like it's my duty to "follow up" with my "promised action"? Does anyone else have this problem?

It seems like they [the boys] want me to think I'm obligated to do more than enjoy sloppy makeouts. When I was younger, just kissing was "okay" and no more was expected. Now it seems like blowjobs and handshakes are on the same plane! Catch my drift?

P.S. Any suggestions? Saying "I don't want to blow you or sleep with you" seems a bit forward, and not all guys ask me for more, and what if I do end up wanting sex?


Stop cruising for dates at the playground.

apesamongus

apesamongus

Atlanta, GA
July 2002

SEP 05, 2007 02:21 PM

Neko_no_Tsuchi said:
But really... why is it that when kissing/touching happens, they expect sex/oral sex to follow and act like it's my duty to "follow up" with my "promised action"?


The call it "foreplay" for a reason.

MrCrisp

MrCrisp

I'm lost
August 2004

SEP 05, 2007 02:37 PM

Lemonkid

Lemonkid

Canada
May 2003

SEP 05, 2007 05:21 PM

dkmfc said:

but anyway...
seeing that heavy making out is typically foreplay, I don't understand what's so confusing about the fact that the guy might be expecting to have sex.



Seconded.

To the lady .. it seems you want it both ways. You don't want to explicitly tell the guy that you don't want sex in case you do later, but you also want him to magically know that you just want to make out with him and not make a move when you may or may not want him to make a move?

The answer is simple - if you don't want the guy to go farther, tell him so. If you do, then don't stop him, or encourage him to bring it to the next level. Cut the "I don't want to hurt his feelings" stuff .. which is as manipulative and weak as the guy who tries to be "just friends" which the girl he actually wants to date because he's too chickenshit to make a move.

Fortune favors the bold, baby. The meek shall not inherit the earth, or much of anything at all.

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

SEP 05, 2007 05:26 PM

Zarth said:
Stop cruising for dates at the playground.


After the denizens of the playground started posting, I take this back. I didn't realize there were so many immature, needy twits out there.

Making out does not "obligate" anyone to do anything. It is not an "implicit promise." Any guy who pretends otherwise is just wrong. Don't be shy about telling him to fuck right off. You're better off without him.

Morgan

Morgan

SUICIDEGIRL

Illinois, USA

SEP 05, 2007 05:38 PM

Zarth said:
Making out does not "obligate" anyone to do anything. It is not an "implicit promise." Any guy who pretends otherwise is just wrong.



This man is right.

ElizaTheTroll

ElizaTheTroll

Australia
January 2006

SEP 05, 2007 05:45 PM

Morgan said:

Zarth said:
Making out does not "obligate" anyone to do anything. It is not an "implicit promise." Any guy who pretends otherwise is just wrong.



This man is right.



Seconded.

MrStitches

MrStitches

Brooklyn, NY
November 2003

SEP 05, 2007 05:49 PM

Zarth said:

Zarth said:
Stop cruising for dates at the playground.


After the denizens of the playground started posting, I take this back. I didn't realize there were so many immature, needy twits out there.

Making out does not "obligate" anyone to do anything. It is not an "implicit promise." Any guy who pretends otherwise is just wrong. Don't be shy about telling him to fuck right off. You're better off without him.



No, but I don't think she should be surprised if a dude tries for more. All she has to do is say no. If the problem is just that the dudes she makes out with whine about it afterwards well, she should find less whiny guys I guess.

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

SEP 05, 2007 06:01 PM

MrStitches said:
No, but I don't think she should be surprised if a dude tries for more. All she has to do is say no. If the problem is just that the dudes she makes out with whine about it afterwards well, she should find less whiny guys I guess.


It's perfectly reasonable to want more, but it's not reasonable to expect it as if by right. That's what she's complaining about.

osbjmg

osbjmg

Durham, NC
August 2007

SEP 05, 2007 06:07 PM

Don't kiss them until later. I was accused by a girl once of possibly not liking women because I waited 3 dates to kiss her. I was just checking things out, no pressure. Sheesh.

Once we did finally make out, it was straight to the facials after that. She wonders later why I wasn't that into her. Well, I wanted to take it slow to see if you were worth it. If you want to take it fast, we can do that - but don't be disappointed when it's easy come, easy go.

apesamongus

apesamongus

Atlanta, GA
July 2002

SEP 05, 2007 06:08 PM

Zarth said:

MrStitches said:
No, but I don't think she should be surprised if a dude tries for more. All she has to do is say no. If the problem is just that the dudes she makes out with whine about it afterwards well, she should find less whiny guys I guess.


It's perfectly reasonable to want more, but it's not reasonable to expect it as if by right. That's what she's complaining about.


Sorry, but I see no functional difference between wanting and expecting in this situation. Unless we're talking about attempted rape (which I don't think we are), expecting and wanting look pretty darned similar.

StarBelliedBoy

StarBelliedBoy

Philadelphia, PA
December 2003

SEP 05, 2007 06:10 PM

I think that it's not unreasonable to think that somebody who makes out with you will probably have sex with you.

StarBelliedBoy

StarBelliedBoy

Philadelphia, PA
December 2003

SEP 05, 2007 06:14 PM

Zarth said:

apesamongus said:

Zarth said:

MrStitches said:
No, but I don't think she should be surprised if a dude tries for more. All she has to do is say no. If the problem is just that the dudes she makes out with whine about it afterwards well, she should find less whiny guys I guess.


It's perfectly reasonable to want more, but it's not reasonable to expect it as if by right. That's what she's complaining about.


Sorry, but I see no functional difference between wanting and expecting in this situation. Unless we're talking about attempted rape (which I don't think we are), expecting and wanting look pretty darned similar.


And that's why I think you're an asshole.



Classy.

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

SEP 05, 2007 06:19 PM

StarBelliedBoy said:
Classy.


This is about a guy who honestly seems to thinks that just because a girl kisses him she's also required by unwritten law to put his dick in her mouth.

Thanks for your input. Frankly I could give a fuck.

StarBelliedBoy

StarBelliedBoy

Philadelphia, PA
December 2003

SEP 05, 2007 06:24 PM

Zarth said:

StarBelliedBoy said:
Classy.


This is about a guy who honestly seems to thinks that just because a girl kisses him she's also required by unwritten law to put his dick in her mouth.

Thanks for your input. Frankly I could give a fuck.




Perhaps you should quit enjoying the smell of your own shit.

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

SEP 05, 2007 06:30 PM

StarBelliedBoy said:
Perhaps you should quit enjoying the smell of your own shit.


Classy. A hypocrite, too. Why don't you try it first, tell me how it goes.

Or not. Good bye.

Morgan

Morgan

SUICIDEGIRL

Illinois, USA

SEP 05, 2007 06:51 PM

apesamongus said:
Sorry, but I see no functional difference between wanting and expecting in this situation. Unless we're talking about attempted rape (which I don't think we are), expecting and wanting look pretty darned similar.



Expecting: "Gee, this hot girl is making out with me. That means that she has to give me head or fuck me later, or else she's a total cocktease, right?"

Wanting: "Gee, this hot girl is making out with me. I hope this leads to more fun Sexy Actions!".

apesamongus

apesamongus

Atlanta, GA
July 2002

SEP 05, 2007 06:55 PM

Morgan said:

apesamongus said:
Sorry, but I see no functional difference between wanting and expecting in this situation. Unless we're talking about attempted rape (which I don't think we are), expecting and wanting look pretty darned similar.



Expecting: "Gee, this hot girl is making out with me. That means that she has to give me head or fuck me later, or else she's a total cocktease, right?"

Wanting: "Gee, this hot girl is making out with me. I hope this leads to more fun Sexy Actions!".


So, functionally, how would those two guys act differently than one another?

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