Once when i was having sex....

Lady friend fell asleep on two separate occasions in the middle of blowing me, I had to grab her head and pull her off of me to keep her from impaling herself.
(At least she never fell asleep while she was the one receiving.)

Another time when on a borderline black-out drunk me and the lady migrated across the bed to where it sat beside the radiator. Her head starts knocking against the rad so I stop to reposition but she keeps going, smacking her head with every thrust. I lean forward to put my hand in between the rad and her head and still she continues. Now my hand is getting crushed and leaning forward has brought me close enough to the rad that my head is banging off of it, I eventually dragged us away but the next morning had to explain to her where the lumps on our heads came from.

I was on top of the guy and accidentally shat on him. I didn't even feel it happening. I think subconsciously I was trying to get back at him because he was the biggest douchebag I have ever met. Moral of this story-- try to use the bathroom before you fuck for precaution

okay, I promised my boyfriend I would never tell ANYONE this but... I lied

Anyways, I had just gotten the depo shot, so it was going to be our first time fucking without a condom. Unfortunately my parents were home, so we cant be as loud as we usually are. He had just bought me this new vibrator which I always put on my clit when hes fucking me to increase the orgasm.

So we're really getting into it, I mean REALLY getting into it, so I taped my mouth shut because, unfortunately for us that day, im a real big screamer. So hes almost ready to blow his load and my father starts knocking on the door, asking if he can come in and get the laundy. TOTALLY ruins the moment, my boyfriend came inside me and I had to grab an old towel, cover myself, hand my father (who's in his 60s) the basket with his jizz dripping down my thighs.

Worst part of the story? My dog (a 165lb Lab. Retriever) runs into the room, kicking the door open and starts licking my legs, the jizz covered legs.

Only in Essex.

I would have fucking kicked her in the vag. No one should be called a whore, unless she is one.

when i was 16 my gf and i were having sex. we were messy drunk, lights on and she was going down on me. meanwhile her dad thought he would be a nice guy and bring us the rest of his bottle of jack he didnt feel like finishing... and of course we hadnt locked the door.. and of course he didnt think about knocking... and whoooops- thats how he found out his daughter was into girls.

Well Ixchell, at least he already had a little Jack in him to soften the blow.

Yhis is pretty much the best coming out story EVER!!!!!!!

win

Ha! This is funny.

Good to know! That. is. awesome!