Once when i was having sex....

kind of off another thread.. but i figured it might be funny to hear about things that have happened during sex.



soooooooo... once when i was having sex with my ex we were at mom moms house, and we were initally all alone in an empty house with no expectations of anyone arriving, so we were going all out, and being really loud, i mean REALLY LOUD, she kept saying all this lewd stuff, and just making noise... so that goes on for a while, and when we stop, i hear my 4 year old niece running around in the hallway RIGHT OUTSIDE my bedroom door.
My sister and her daughter came home at some point during our escapade and heard the whole thing! We snuck out the back door to avoid any weird situations ( i dont know how much weirder it could have gotten)

That's probably my worst.. your turn.

-i have that problem too! me and a chicky will be gettin' freaky deaky and the fucking futon folds up on us! it is good for a laugh though. you know the saying: joke 'em if they can't take a fuck.

[Edited on Jul 09, 2003 by HonkeyKong]

one time during sex.. the guys' roommate knocked and then just walked in. so we just tried to act like we were sleeping when we heard the door start to open. the roommate tried to give him his mail then proceeded to keep talking and he seemed intriged by something on the floor and picked it up with his foot. it just happened to be the condom wrapper. so the roommate turned brigth red and walked out the door quickly. we were laughing so much that we couldn't finish.

OK, here goes... Once when I was having sex with my girlfriend on the foldout couch in my old apartment she was riding on top of me and everything was going good until i felt a strange sensation on my balls... felt like a tongue or something. I knew it couldn't have been my girl because she isn't that flexible. I realized what it was... sat up in the middle of everything and said, "I can't do this anymore... one of the cats just licked my balls!" She rolled off of me laughing so hard I thought she was going to wet herself. It was pretty funny, but we had only been together for a short while then and I was a little embarrased.

Al is not a virgin?! Well, there goes that fantasy.

Once when I was having sex with my ex-girlfriend and a mutual female friend of ours, the boyfriend of that mutual female friend knocked on the door, giving all three of us about two seconds to get dressed before he walked in.

I wrote a much, much longer version of that story as a journal entry

the first time my gf and i drove xc to chicago, to MEET THE PARENTS, we fucked at dead grandpa's empty house, on the carpet, and i got huge terrible rugburns on my knees. unfortunately it was 100 degrees outside during the week, so i had no pants or any reason to wear them.

that is completely hilarious.

Once when I was having sex in the bathtub... The shower curtain rod fell off and hit me on the head.

One rainy afternoon me and my gal were doing it to porn, and I told her I wanted to do a 'Money Shot". She cheered me on and when I was ready I pulled out and did a John Holmes worthy shot. Her moaning suddenly stopped and she said with clenched lips "That gabt mby mouf." There was diagnal streak on her face. I go her a towel, cracking up all the way.

ok, my ex was going down on me this one time and she just went a little too far or something, i don't gobble wang so i'm not sure what caused it, but she yaked on my man meat.
it was awkward, kinda gross, but funny in that "i just got my wang yaked on" kinda way.

jesse



[Edited on Jul 09, 2003 by Jesse]

I once had the privilege of bedding an extremely attractive friend of mine. I gave her my best full body massage with cocoa butter and when we laid down to sleep she tickled my leg with her toe and we proceeded to bang each other silly.

At first the arch of my foot started to cramp a bit, and then my calf. Soon the hamstring on my other leg cramped up too but she was too unbelievably sexy to stop. After 30 minutes of searing pain and bitten lip I came through tears, literally screaming when I finally relaxed my muscles.

I limped for about 2 days afterwards because of the ham, but damn it was worth every second. (I'll never admit I enjoyed the pain)

Ouch!

Okay, so this one time, me and this girl were lying naked on top of one another, and all of a sudden, this sticky white stuff just like, shot out of my pee-pee hole all over the place! It was just like, whooooooosh!!!

I don't care; that was still the happiest day of my life!

It's true, I swear! My mom says I'm cool!

So what's your story about the OTHER time you got some?

Caff and I have had discussions about mario brothers and how luigi didn't get enough attention during sex once.
oh yes
hahahha
and one time he whispered "grab my ass"
but i thought he said "gramma ass" and i laughed. a lot.
i don't have that many weird stories dammit!

i've experienced the bed breaking incident. only, after having crudely propped the one corner up on books, the other corner on the same side came undone and the books went sliding out from underneath the first broken end. parnter and i slid with the sheets down to the floor, where we remained for the remaider of our "session"... and then we just moved the mattress to the floor. books are definitely better for reading than for propping heavy furniture.
pulling down the shower curtain and rod has happened to me, too. also pulling a towel rack off the wall (really only one side) during counter sex.
learning that your loud sex is fodder for someone else's masturbation is almost a turn on but mostly embarrassing.
during puppy love, my right hand fell asleep and i went sliding into the wall - bonking my head and ruining the 'moment'
there are many silly tales. i wish i could recall them more quickly.

I was 17, my girlfriend at the time's parents had gone out of town, so we skeedaddled over to her place and got to work, being as loud as we possibly could just for the sheer novelty of it (where before we tried not to even make the bed creak). When we were done I opened the door naked to go to the bathroom and her brother was sitting in the living room. He said "Have fun?" and I don't remember what I said but it was probably a combination between a word and a girly-man squeal as I darted back into her room.

[Edited on Jul 10, 2003 by Keithed]