Can friends cuddle?

Just thought I would throw in an update, for my own sake, although comments are always welcomed. Things have settled down; way down. Which is nice. I'm not going to lie and say I don't miss some things but overall things are good. Without sounding too lame, I think I will always have a special/weird place in my heart for my friend that is reserved for her. I don't know what it is. I guess the thing I miss the most is just the closeness and the conversations etc. Then again she is pregnant and I am going through all sorts of fun complicated things at school due to my certification and other activities. I just hope that its our busy lives and not something else that has put the space between us. Its strange to connect with someone like this. So, I'm not sure what made me decide to write tonight and I feel like I should be typing something else but I can't think of what I should say.
So I guess thats the point, maybe there is nothing left to say. So this post is sorta me officially ending the discussion. Thanks for all the responses and advice.
The End.

I guess I should have put "The End?" on that last post...ha ha.
So for those of you who still read this, I think at this point this post is more of an online journal.
So its been a weird end to the year, but heres main idea:
I met another woman who had this passing infatuation with me, had a really weird weekend with that things are cool now. Well, let me rephrase that, things are fine with HER. Heres the problem, my other friend, Rach, whom this post was originally about is friends with this woman and its kinda put a weird vibe on their relationship. Personally I feel she is blowing it out of proportion but nothing I do recently seems good enough. I am basically not going to even bring her up with Rach anymore because she gets upset by it. Its not really a big deal and maybe I'm blowing it out of proportion, and Rach is fine with it all. Rach is pregnant and the timing of this new friend probably isn't good I guess. Heres the real problem, if Rachel had any idea how I feel about her and how much I care about her it still wouldn't be enough. If I never met this other person it wouldn't even matter. Until the day I die, and on my death bed I say Rach you are one of my best friends, even then I don't think it will be enough. I don't know what it is, maybe its the pattern she has seen in other people but it just sucks that I feel like I have to constantly prove my friendship to her and her insecurities. I'll do it anyway though because I do think of her as one of my best friends. It breaks my heart that I thinki she actually doubts my loyalty to her. End of rant

Alright this is my last post on this for a while but I need to get it off my chest. It might not even be necessary because I may have misinterpreted an instant message. But I said goodnight to my friend and she got upset because I ahven't said it in a while. WTF? I tried to back off becuase I was getting all sorts of mixed messages. She doesn't think we can cuddle, she has made comments about that and I was fine with that I'm not going to press that issue. So I backed off the other stuff too including anything I thought could be a little over the line. What the fuck am I supposed to do? I can't win?! Then she just signs off? I mean are you serious? I shouldb't even care this much about this shit. I feel like a fucking child. So here is my new plan, game OVER. I'm not playing these games, I just can't handle it anymore...that is pathetic to type but at this very moment , I'm done. I'm going to act the way I want and say what I want. No more overthinking how she might take it. Its hurting our relationship at this point. If she wants to make some Passive agressive comment back , fine, but I'm done. I'm going to take it in stride and deal with it. I know how I feel. I have a feeling this is going to sting a little but I'm just going to deal with it. Ok, done with overly dramatic rant, I feel like a little bitch even typing this. I'm out!

Wow reading that last post was weird. Ok, so I am a lot more comfortable with everything. Its funny we had a conversation about how I can never win with her. At least she is aware of it But its just a tough line to walk. She mentioned to me that she threw out a journal entry about me because "she didn't feel that way anymore." I kinda felt like that could have went without being said. Kinda hurt a little. So on to a positive note. She is beautiful. I'm glad I have a friend like her. She is so happy right now and its hard to hang out with her and not smile the whole time. Its amazing. She is luminous, and there are days when all I have to do is think of her and it makes me happy. She's going to be an amazing mother and I'm glad I can follow it all. Isn't life crazy isn't it.