Sex Talk

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nightbrightener

nightbrightener

Lancaster, PA
October 2005

JUL 28, 2006 11:25 AM

okay guys and gals, a female friend of mine is seeing a guy who refuses (tactfully) to go down on her or receive the same in return. i told her it might have to due with religious hangups, lack of self confidence, or past experiences but honestly i have no idea, becuase he has no reservations about just having sex with her... i know from past experiences that the girl in question is very clean and clean shaven, tastes and smells great and loves to return the favor. any ideas, similiar experiences? i was trying to help her but honestly, who the hell doesn't love giving and receiving head/oral sex. she and i can't figure it out and when she asks the guy he just evades the question. i can see how just receiving could seem selfish to the guy, but not doing either? any thoughts? male of female veiwpoints?

nightbrightener

nightbrightener

Lancaster, PA
October 2005

JUL 28, 2006 11:29 AM

and rereading this i can see my public school education has done very little to develope my spelling or typing skills, or grammatical proficiency, come to think of it. wink

Roethke

Roethke

SUICIDEGIRL

California, USA

JUL 28, 2006 11:33 AM

Maybe he just doesn't like performing cunnilingus, and doesn't want to be in a position where he's expected to reciprocate.

Maybe he actually doesn't like pussy, so he doesn't want to have to actually look at it or touch it.

Maybe she needs to date someone else. No oral sex is a damn good reason to DTMFA ("dump the motherfucker already" in case you don't read Savage Love).

nightbrightener

nightbrightener

Lancaster, PA
October 2005

JUL 28, 2006 11:38 AM

when has giving a guy head ever garuanteed that you would get anything in return? wink i tend to agree with the DTMFA comment if there are other problems but if everything else works, hey, men can be trained or taught

nightbrightener

nightbrightener

Lancaster, PA
October 2005

JUL 28, 2006 11:41 AM

as far as the whole not liking pussy thing.... not to cross over to another topic but it's kind of like the ugly dick threads. just cuz the things never gonna be on the cover of vogue is no reason to ignore it

Chaotica

Chaotica

United Kingdom
July 2006

JUL 28, 2006 12:45 PM

Maybe he's insecure, I have several female friends who are quite uncomfortable in themselves and refuse to give or receive oral sex.

nightbrightener

nightbrightener

Lancaster, PA
October 2005

JUL 28, 2006 12:56 PM

you could be right CB, it just seems that if someone is comfortable initiating sex, they would also be comfortable giving or recieving oral sex. not to imply all or most women are passive when it comes to making the first move sexually, but i doubt your friends would make the first move if they are sexually insecure or lack the self confidence. or did you mean uncomfortable in another way?

Cairo

Cairo

SUICIDEGIRL

Maryland, USA

JUL 28, 2006 02:24 PM

If I were your friend, I would dump him for two reasons:

1. Not being honest and telling me what his real deal is. I don't feel like I should ever have to just guess at whatever my S.O is feeling/thinking, especially when it directly involves the relationship.
2. No oral sex? Like, ever? No, thanks.

Although if he was able to overcome #1, I would probably be able to forgive him for #2.

Ryan_Dipietro

Ryan_Dipietro

Naples, FL
April 2004

JUL 28, 2006 02:43 PM

Chaotic_Beauty said:
Maybe he's insecure, I have several female friends who are quite uncomfortable in themselves and refuse to give or receive oral sex.



Yep. Been there.

Idjit

Idjit

HOPEFUL

I'm lost

JUL 28, 2006 02:51 PM

Heh, the first girl I ever slept with laid it on the line: "You either eat my pussy, or you get the fuck out!" Worked for me.

MisterSatan

MisterSatan

Portland, OR
August 2002

JUL 28, 2006 02:52 PM

Have you ever had/made a blowjob while driving?

Morgan

Morgan

SUICIDEGIRL

Illinois, USA

JUL 28, 2006 03:04 PM

Idjiit said:
Heh, the first girl I ever slept with laid it on the line: "You either eat my pussy, or you get the fuck out!" Worked for me.



This is now being entered in my official Relationship Rules.

maquiladora

maquiladora

United Kingdom
June 2006

JUL 28, 2006 03:25 PM

I don't like him going down on me. I'm fine with giving, but not receiving. I can't be the only one who feels like that!

unravled

unravled

Portland, OR
August 2003

JUL 28, 2006 03:39 PM

maquiladora said:
I don't like him going down on me. I'm fine with giving, but not receiving. I can't be the only one who feels like that!



Why?

maquiladora

maquiladora

United Kingdom
June 2006

JUL 28, 2006 03:44 PM

unravled said:

maquiladora said:
I don't like him going down on me. I'm fine with giving, but not receiving. I can't be the only one who feels like that!



Why?



Shyness, I'd assume.

unravled

unravled

Portland, OR
August 2003

JUL 28, 2006 03:51 PM

maquiladora said:

unravled said:

maquiladora said:
I don't like him going down on me. I'm fine with giving, but not receiving. I can't be the only one who feels like that!



Why?



Shyness, I'd assume.



You'd...assume? It's your body, you don't know?

LadyCakes

LadyCakes

USA
February 2006

JUL 28, 2006 04:15 PM

Idjiit said:
Heh, the first girl I ever slept with laid it on the line: "You either eat my pussy, or you get the fuck out!" Worked for me.



That's hot.

guyincognito

GuyIncognito

Minneapolis, MN
September 2004

JUL 28, 2006 04:49 PM

what about giving helmet?

Chaotica

Chaotica

United Kingdom
July 2006

JUL 28, 2006 05:18 PM

nightbrightener said:
you could be right CB, it just seems that if someone is comfortable initiating sex, they would also be comfortable giving or recieving oral sex. not to imply all or most women are passive when it comes to making the first move sexually, but i doubt your friends would make the first move if they are sexually insecure or lack the self confidence. or did you mean uncomfortable in another way?



I think it's most probably due to the very high level of intimacy that is involved in performing or receiving oral that makes alot of insecure people feel very uncomfortable about it.

schadenfreude

schadenfreude

Svalbard And Jan Mayen
July 2004

JUL 28, 2006 05:44 PM

dkmfc said:
some people just don't like it.
if they don't like doing something, why force the issue.
staying with them is kind of irrelevent. because if it's something she HAS to have or whatever, then, well if he's not gonna do it it's kind of a done deal from the start.
she'll just go off and get what she wants/needs eventually anyway.
why drag it out.

maybe he was abused and he doesn't feel comfortable talking about it, maybe the abuse involved giving or getting head.
I dunno.
I'm just some random person on the internets.



What he said, smart boy.

I dunno. Getting head is OK. Definitely not a deal-breaker though, one way or the other.

maquiladora

maquiladora

United Kingdom
June 2006

JUL 29, 2006 01:25 AM

unravled said:

maquiladora said:

unravled said:

maquiladora said:
I don't like him going down on me. I'm fine with giving, but not receiving. I can't be the only one who feels like that!



Why?



Shyness, I'd assume.



You'd...assume? It's your body, you don't know?



I was being snippy, sorry tongue
Yes, shyness. Insecurity. Et cetera.

FrankMask

FrankMask

Saint Paul, MN
June 2003

JUL 29, 2006 03:27 AM

Maybe he has a geas?

Orko27

Orko27

Lacey, WA
October 2004

JUL 29, 2006 06:07 AM

Maybe it's one of those complicated kosher rules that I don't understand.

Martini

Martini

SUICIDEGIRL

Ontario, Canada

JUL 29, 2006 07:57 AM

maquiladora said:

unravled said:

maquiladora said:

unravled said:

maquiladora said:
I don't like him going down on me. I'm fine with giving, but not receiving. I can't be the only one who feels like that!



Why?



Shyness, I'd assume.



You'd...assume? It's your body, you don't know?



I was being snippy, sorry tongue
Yes, shyness. Insecurity. Et cetera.



dude.. down a bottle of wine and let go!
oral sex is.. teh secks! wink

xo

Landed

Landed

I'm lost
March 2006

JUL 29, 2006 08:00 AM

Perhaps Beetlejuice sealed your mouth shut with a metal plate.

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